[Allow me to preface this by saying that I was busy the last couple of days and that I am terribly sorry for the lack of update.]
[Notice anything different? When your computer's clock is set to September 19th, every bit of text becomes more piratical in nature.]
[This extends from the map...
...all the way to the status screen! It's a nice gimmick if you happen to pick the game up on that day in celebration of International Talk Like A Pirate Day.]
[Now, as for some catching up, there were a few things I did during the last update that weren't caught. For one, I beat up Captain Kidd.
Ship Lessons 101: Hey, I've not done this in a while! Nice to have it back, eh?
Captain William Kidd. Do you know why he is famous? Besides the pretty cool name and the fact that he is Scottish, he was put on trial for piracy when, in all likelihood, he was only a privateer. Considering that privateers were legal pirates, the man was not done justice in the aforementioned trial. Heck, his own career wasn't that profitable anyway!]
[I nabbed Henry's treasure. That's worth something, isn't it?]
[And now, back to your irregularly scheduled Piratical Comedy Hour (as if).]
Ah, the fight with Captain Kidd was great. Had it not been for the new crew and the great fighting skills of Mr. Montalban, we would have suffered great losses! In honor of Montalban's skills, I promoted him to the rank of commander and gave him command of Kidd's ship. I warned the others to keep an eye on him in case his loyalties shift. He renamed the ship "De Oro Delicioso."
Just south of Kidd's grave we encountered none other than the king of the pirates, Henry Morgan!
[Ship Lessons 101: He's a Welshman. You know who else is Welsh? Me. Mostly. Large majority. I wouldn't mind meeting the crazy bugger on the notion that he is Welsh and the fact that he was one of the most successful, notorious, and dangerous pirates to sail the Spanish Main! In fact, he was one of the very few pirates who actually managed to retire from their business with no problems. And for the drinkers in the audience, he is the guy on the bottles of "Captain Morgan." You know, the spiced rum and the "Got a little captain in you?" and all that jazz.]
[More showing off of the ITLAPD text changes.]
Morgan? He was a terrible shot, I tell you. Worse than the other pirates I've fought thus far, I'll tell you that!
[Graphical glitches! Yay!]
[How humiliating. The first ranked pirate being taken out by a crate of supplies.]
[Jesus Christ this was a large haul. We've reached a landmark in that we now half half a million gold, and you know what? That's enough for me!]
[In fact, we're now the number 1 pirate! Woo!]
The large frigate was quite the spectacle. There was no way that I could sink such a beauty in good conscience. Instead, I christened her "Obsidian" and finally had an official flagship of the fleet.
[And now we have 8 ships. No more taking other ships, guys. Ship of the line be darned, I tell you.]
[I love ITLAPD.
Oh, and yeah, just in case you were doubting my position in the pirate rankings.]
[It's nice to see pirates actually talking like pirates.]
[It's even nicer when you get to see such an utterly magnificent fleet sailing everywhere.]
[You know what? Our sail emblem is getting a bit stale. Perhaps if someone were to create an emblem to go on our sail and represent us, I would pick the best one (or only one) and hand that person a ticket, hmm? Sounds like a good enough contest. I'll make it due by this Wednesday. No special dimensions, PNG format preferably, and the emblem must have a long beard no matter what it actually is.]
[The game loves to make fun of my blunders with Captain's Head.]
[Oh. Right. We were supposed to be attacking Havana. I forgot all about that!]
[Way too easy. Luckily, even when the maps are easy, they're still fairly entertaining. Maybe that's just because I get a kick out of strategy RPGs and grid-based strat games.]
[Relatively decent gold for a city, I suppose.]
[Even the governor speaks in a manner similar to a pirate!]
The apparently drunken governor decided to promote me. Considering how close we were to the Florida Keys, I decided to stop in and ask father how things were.
[Bonus time: your wife? She's a piratet now.]
[Rather, she thinks she is, randomly inserting things like "Arr!" into sentences to feel more like one.]
[However, let us end ITLAPD on a lighter note, the save screen. As always, I choose "Aye!"]
I seem to have misplaced the old log. I think I may have left it upon the other ship! I'll have the crew search for it tomorrow.
Today's choice brought to you by Captain' Morgan's spiced rum. Got a little captain in you?
Really though, I need a new sail emblem.
1. Sack Spanish Cities
2. Go treasure hunting
3. Lost city hunts are fine with me
4. Go sailing away