Part 7: Chickadee-y Has Invited You to a Blood Orgy Next Sunday
Hello everyone! Today's update is going to be mostly catching up with odds and ends. I turned off subtitles before recording this, so there won't be any more tiny yellow text on the images.Let's get started.
There's a couple things I missed in the school.
I don't remember Pip dying, but it's still nice to see the school memorializing Mrs. Crabtree, Ms. Choksondik, Chef, Pip, and boy-with-orange-hair. (One of the 10,000 South Park wikis tells me the boy's name is Gordon Stoltski.)
The key to this locker was dropped by the boss we just defeated last time.
The Mace of Restoration is a really nice upgrade to our board-with-a-nail-in-it. It's an upgrade that doesn't last very long, though.
The last thing in the school that I missed is up in this broken ventilation grate.
My guide to the Chinpokomon claims you can't get this one until later. It fell out of the duct after I opened the ventilation register, so who knows.
This is in the garage of the house where the naked lady shut the door in our face. I mentioned this boy's existence several updates ago, and showed his dialogue then. However the chest next to him has some goodies too.
We have strictly better stuff now, but this where the last of the Druid set is.
We found this key in Tom's Rhinoplasty, and it opens this building. There's nothing inside but a generic townie and the following items...
Meh. Moving on...
Aw hell. Why not?
: Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you.
: It's me! Al Gore! You know, Al Gore! I'm super important. All right, look - I've detected some very strange activity in this area. I believe we are dealing with... MANBEARPIG!
: Yes, THE ManBearPig. I know you're scared but I need help. Take these and place them in the locations specified on the ManBearMap. Pig. And NOW I'm going to make you my friend on Facebook. This is VERY prestigious. You have my email now but don't give it out to ANYBODY. I'm super cereal. Hurry! We must know if ManBearPig is here or not!
: Come back when all the sensors are in place. EXCELSIOR!We're now Facebook friends with former Vice President Al Gore. Why do I have a feeling I'm going to immensely regret helping him?
: Hello, my young friend! This is Al Gore! That's me, in the big profile picture! I am talking to you now.Let's just move on and try to not think too hard about what we were asked to do.
: conspiracy articles "how do you know if you're being followed" "listening devices" "who to trust" "parents in on it?": AHHH! I didn't mean to post that! HOW DO I DELETE IT??????Seriously, that kid needs to switch to decaf.
So let's go into the forest.
First things first, do not go into the forest if you don't know what you're doing. I have a specific destination in mind, so I know where to go. However, this forest is a traditional Zelda Lost Woods style forest. It's a maze spread across three or four different screens.
If you wander around enough while lost, eventually the sun will set and your parents will come to "rescue" you. When they find you, you get grounded. This functionally just respawns you at your house, though I'm unsure if it counts as a day passing for re-acquiring summon items.
These wolves are the other reason you do not enter the forest unless you know what you're doing.
This was a blocked attack. They are a random encounter that hits even harder than the first real boss of the game. (Bonus points if you can spot the continuity error.)
This is an attack you absolutely need to block. The timing is weird, because the block indicator doesn't appear until the wolf finishes humping your face.
See that "screwed" debuff? That's the South Park equivalent of the Doom debuff from Final Fantasy. Be sure to use a bottle of water if you get hit by it. I think it gives you 2 or 3 turns before you die.
This is the last thing those wolves can do. Yeah, they can spawn more of each other. You presumably could use this knowledge to grind to level 15, but why would you?
28 experience is not a lot for killing four wolves.
More damage from our dust of dreams punch is gonna be pretty handy as the game wears on.
Anyway, remember a few updates back when we saw Stan's invitation to a blood orgy? The arrows pointed out Right, Up, Right, Down, Right. Those directions are the specific exits we need to take in the forest to reach...
This glade.
Aww, how cute.
: Look at this, y'all. A New Kid's come into the forest to have his soul saved!ALL: Yaaay!
: If you want your soul saved, all you gots to do is accept the one true Lord as your personal savior, and renounce all others as false idols.
: (if you RENOUNCE) But you GOTS to take the Lord into your heart if you want your soul saved!ALL: (if you RENOUNCE again) Awww.
: We will pray for your soul every dayBut who would renounce The One True Lord? Let's accept their offer.
: You're saved! Praise be to Satan, your new dread master! Now we can all be friends on Facebook.ALL: Yaay!
: Hail Satan!Hey wait a second...
: Soon will come the End of Days when our dark master will boil the oceans and lay siege to the gates of Heaven.
We just got 12 facebook friends for accepting The Dark Lord Satan into our hearts. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also because the game only ever has like three of these cute little Satanists talking, here's all of their facebook faces and names.
Beary:
Rabbity:
Skunky:
Beavery:
Mousey:
Squirrely:
Deery:
Woodpeckery:
Porcupiney:
Foxy:
Chickadee-y:
Raccoony:
Finally, the perk we got for making friends with woodland creatures. A free attack up for using any item? Sign me up!
On the way out of the forest, we find more wolves. I think I took this shot to demonstrate how out of hand their calls for help could get. I think at this point I've defeated three more that were driven off.
Anyway, the forest has only one way out: go south, south, and south. No matter where you entered the forest from, you always come back out at the farm.
For the past several combat images, you may have seen my mana bar has warning stripes and a danger sign. Well, what happens if you use a mana restorative when you're maxed out?
There are several achievements for pooping yourself. This game is very mature and sophisticated.
Let's see what one of our new friends has to say.
: Having moments of doubt. If Satan exists, why does he let good things happen to good people?Deery and Rabbity like this.
: Now cheer up, y'all. If he didn't give them hope, how could he ever crush their dreams?: Chickadee-y has invited you to a Blood Orgy next Sunday.Beavery and Woodpeckery like this.
: Craig is now single.
: Aww, sorry to hear that, buddy.: Thieves work alone. She was holding me back.
I forgot something back at the farm. We're up on top of the barn next to the weather vane. This is one of the spots that Al Gore wants us to tape a monitor.
The second spot is up on top of the meth lab's roof.
Over to the right of the meth lab, we can find one of the bums we missed in our initial pass.
The mace of restoration seems to have the generic three hit combo.
Finally, there's a Big Game Hunter spot right here as well.
This is hardly a miniboss fight, so no video. Though I can show off Butters' last attack.
Each of your buddies has one ultimate attack in addition to their regular two. Butters' ultimate unleashes the power of Professor Chaos.
He stomps in on the screen like he's trying to appear big. It's absolutely adorable.
The Professor Chaos attack uses one of five different attacks.
Life Drain: Causes a lot of non-elemental damage to every enemy and heals both Butters and Douchebag for 100% of damage dealt.
Chaos Cloak: Gives both Butters and Douchebag 9 shields of defense. This stacks with any previously existing shields of defense.
Chaos Blast: (This is the one we got in the image) Butters blasts the enemy with a non-elemental fireball attack, causing high damage.
Hammer of Chaos: Butters summons a gigantic hammer and smashes every enemy with it. This stuns all enemies on the battlefield for several turns.
Chaos Storm: This shoots up to five random targets with electric damage.
Just showing off the heavy strike here because the dog is gonna be defeated regardless.
Finally, clear across South Park over at Stark's Pond, we can put up the last ManBearPig sensor. Let's return to Al Gore.
: Good job, Junior Al Gorean! With all the sensors placed I can get a reading on my -
: I knew it! These are definitely hot ManBearPig readings! Come with me. I must put this data in the DataManBearPigBase!
I feel kinda bad for him. I don't think he has many friends.
His DataManBearPigBase is over in the storage lockers.
: Uh huh... Hmmmm... This is VERY interesting! The sensors have picked up ManBearPig underneath the ground of South Park! If you know anywhere you can get underground, go there at once and run this Defilibrator!
: Back again Junior Al Gorean? Have you found somewhere in the sewers to put the defilibrator?We'll have to put this on the back-burner. We need to be able to explore deeper in the sewers before we can put the defilibrator on something.
More friends and more perks! We've got more than 45% of all available friends in the game. Being able to shrug off debuffs sooner than normal is always a good thing. I'm not exactly sure how this interacts with the Screwed debuff, though.
One last Chinpokomon before we report back to Kupa Keep.
Video:
This video has most everything through the rest of the update. It's just plot and magic training, though.
: Gentlemen, thanks to the new kid, our entire army is assembled! It is my belief that the new kid deserves to rank up in level.
: To honor his efforts, he will no longer be called "Douchebag." New Kid, I hereby dub thee - SIR Douchebag! Congratulations.
: But now it is time for us to take back that which is rightfully ours. A carrier raven has come with news that the Stick of Truth has not yet been taken to the Elven Forest. It is in the possession of... the Bard.
: *gasp* The Bard?!: Oh God! Not the Bard!: The Bard is a level ten Drow Elf who can use magic to enchant and destroy his enemies!
: Are you ready to continue your training? Then make haste to the training grounds.: The Bard has no honor.
Every time you gain a new rank, the game upgrades your starting armor, makes it a little flashier, and makes the bonuses on it a little better.
The wand seems nice, but we won't be using it. We're about to get something that deals a shitload more damage.
We won't be able to make something as utterly broken as the Friar armor with fire healing, but we can approximate it while still staying kickass.
I did a play-through last week that sold me on using the Buckyball magnets. 10% extra money adds up pretty dang quick.
We can refill our PP bar by using Dragon's Breath. And while we get some health back, we won't be able to face tank anything in the game anymore. Part of me is kind of disappointed, but there's no point in showing this game off if all I'm going to do is use a cheese strategy.
Anyway, let's go see what Cartman wants to teach us.
: I'm going to teach you how to use a RANGED magic attack. It's not easy, but being able to cup a spell from a distance can save you in battle. Allow me to demonstrate.
: HYAAA! Let me show you one more time. Watch closely.
: HYAAA! You see how it works? Now you try. Way back from where you're standing. Cup the magic, throw it at your opponent.: (if you fail) No, no that's not it. Try again! Let me show you one more time. Watch closely. HYAAA! You see how it works? Now you try. Way back from where you're standing. Cup the magic, throw it at your opponent.
The process of casting Cup-a-Spell is exactly the same as Dragonshout. At least here. Out in the game proper, the only thing you need to do differently is actually aim it. It's probably the best go-to fart for this reason.
The tutorial timing is a little more forgiving, however.
: Yes, YES! But now let us see how you fare against a REAL opponent! Hey- hey Malkinson! Malkinson, could you come help us with something? (giggling) Shh, shh don't tell him this is gonna be sweet.: Yes?: Oh hey, Scott, could you um, spar with Douchebag real quick? He's gonna try out a new move.: En garde!
: Now, Douchebag! Cup a spell!: (if you fail) Come on, Douchebag, you let it slip right through your fingers. Try again.
: Aghgh! AHGHGGHHG!
: HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! DUDE THAT WAS SWEET! YOU THREW THAT SHIT RIGHT IN SCOTT'S FACE! Hahahaha. All right Scott, go back to your post. Thank you. Hahaha.
: Use it wisely in battle, Douchebag. And never on a man's balls.
: If the carrier ravens are correct, the Bard is hiding out at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey. We must find him before he's able to take the Stick back to the Elven Forest.
: LET US FIND THE BARD AND BRING HIM TO JUSTICE!: MAKE HASTE TO THE GIGGLING DONKEY!
Before we join everyone at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey, let's talk to Malkinson. He's got some new stuff for sale.
: Douchebag, you'd better stock up on some powerups and potions. The Inn of the Giggling Donkey is a dangerous place!
Reminder that the wand we just got deals 16-22 x3. On its best possible series of hits it deals 66 damage. This sword on the other hand... At its absolute worst, this weapon deals 170 damage with its two hits. That's one hell of a difference! For this reason, this nice little thing will be our go-to weapon for the forseeable future.
Scott is the only vendor at this point in the game that sells mana restoratives. I buy
Finally, we give our new bling-sword a patch that adds 10% additional damage on a perfect attack. If my math isn't wrong, that's 17 additional damage in the absolute worst case scenario.
Despite how overpowered we may seem right now, we've got some tough fights ahead of us. But we can handle them.
Let's recover the Stick of Truth!