Part 14: A Super Cereal Update

Greetings everyone. Today's update marks the last of the faffing about we're gonna be doing for the second day. It's gonna be a fun one, so let's-a-go.



Before we get started, I want to demonstrate the Sneaky Squeaker fart we learned last time.



The green blob is the fart. You're prompted to aim it when you start, but you have full control over where it goes after. The fart can be directed with the analog stick, and will not detonate until you tell it to. How do you detonate it?



By pressing the A button. So that tutorial we just did? The one requiring precise and specific inputs? Yeah, completely useless about telling you anything. There's a bunch of responses to using the sneaky squeaker on people, and I'll show all those off in the next update. Today we have one job and one job alone: to beat up former Vice President Albert Arnold Gore.



Today's special guest star is Jimmy. Those of you who have played this game now understand exactly what it is that I'm about to do. For the rest of you? Well, just hold tight. You'll understand soon.

Video:

This video has the boss fight. It's the longest boss video yet, clocking in at 7 and a half minutes long.



: You're back, Junior Al Gorean, but why haven't you liked any of my Facebook messages... unless...



: Of course! You're no normal human kid! It's you! MANBEARPIG! I have you now! Let us fight to the death.





The fight starts off with him tying a cape around his neck. It lulls you into a false sense of security like that. This is probably the hardest fight in the entire game.

: Now let's see how you like sitting through a WHOLE PRESENTATION ON GLOBAL WARMING!





: You cannot escape the scientific certainty of global climate change!

Two things happened during that presentation.





If you don't defend against both of those attacks, suddenly you're in an incredibly bad situation. Jimmy being Screwed and Asleep isn't too bad, because we can just heal him with water. But you do not want to be hit by either yourself.



So this incredibly difficult boss fight is a perfect opportunity to show off what it is Jimmy can do. He's not the physical powerhouse that Stan is, he's not as tanky as Butters, and he's not as good at debuffing as Kenny. Jimmy is a bard, so he's more adept at buffing instead.



Power Chord, Jimmy's free ability, restores a small amount of PP on use. Pretty handy, yeah?



His regular attack is just launching a rock with his crossbow. It's... it's okay.

Now, so far this fight seems pretty standard. Al Gore starts out with some dick move debuffs, but he's already pretty fucked thanks to Douchebag and his debuffs. Ready to see what makes the fight difficult?

: Gore-tastic!





: Protect the former sort-of Vice President!

: (attacking with EXCELSIOR) Excelsior!
: (attacking with EXCELSIOR) Gore-tastic!
: (attacking with EXCELSIOR) Gore-gasm!
: (idle) My messages were very important.
: (idle) You didn't fool me for a second, ManBearPig.
: (idle) You should have taken this way more cereally.
: (idle) The vice presidency is the highest office in the land and it must be respected.
: (idle) People laughed at me when I told them you were real. Who's laughing now?
: (when hit) Hey!

Al Gore is largely harmless. His attacks kind of hurt, but they're really not a threat. The real threat are the Secret Service. So I'm just gonna be nipping that right in the bud by using the next of Jimmy's abilities.



See this ability? Read that description again. Al Gore is a boss, so he's immune to sleep. However, these Secret Service assholes do not share his immunity. This gives us one full turn of peace.





The perfect hit is also a pretty fun rhythm minigame.



Now that the secret service are asleep on the job, we've got some time and space to think.





Excelsior gives Al Gore an attack up and a regeneration buff.



: (dying) Wait! I can't die! I was almost barely president!

Repeat Jimmy's lullaby as necessary, and eventually Al Gore goes down thanks to a combination of bleeding and burning. We've also taken out one of the Secret Service agents. That just leaves the other two.

Even now the fight could still go quite badly. However, that still doesn't mean I can't show off Jimmy's abilities.





Song of Buffness gives you an ability up buff. It's not exactly something that I can create a gif of, though.



The game is at least nice enough to tell you when to act.



Jimmy also mic drops at the end.





Not gonna lie, this fight is really the only place in the game I use Jimmy. He's really useful here, but I'd much rather have someone else at any other time.



This is also the reason you need to use crowd control on the Secret Service.



If the game's RNG decides it doesn't like you, imagine three of them chain spamming that.





Not as damaging, but it still stings quite a bit.



Finally, Jimmy's last ability.











Pretty decent damage, and inflicts defense down.



The last ability I saw these guys use is to just unload full auto on someone. The block prompts come up quick and furious. It really hurts.



Though he went rock 'n roll a little too late for it to matter.



Naturally only after the optional super hard bonus boss fight do I reach level 11. I was trying to get this before the fight because of the new set of armor I picked up a few updates ago.



The loot found on Al Gore. The ManBearPig Ear causes you to deal more damage at low health. (15% additional below 20% HP)





Cone-shaped funnel of frost means it afflicts even more people. More damage on Pyre Ball is also never a bad thing!



Super Secret Keep Out eh? Well, we have a key so...





: It's a pretty good replica, you gotta give him that.
: Oh look! He was playing president.
: I wonder where he keeps his hanging chads! Wow, what a terrific audience.

The last two party members both also have something to say about this room. We won't be getting them until the third day. Those of you with pattern recognition and familiarity with the main cast of the show will know who they are anyway. Spoilers, it's Kyle and Cartman.

: I didn't think it was possible to feel worse for him.
: It looks like he pees in that corner over there.



If I'm not mistaken, the ManBearPig hoof drains HP from bleeding targets.



The pipe deals quite a bit of damage, but it doesn't have the reach of the broadsword. It's also super cereal, guys.



While we're here, let's put an item away for Mr. Mackey.





: Guess Mr. Mackey will never quite get over what that owl did to him.
: Guess Mr. Mackey will never quite get over what that owl did to him.
: Guess Mr. Mackey will never quite get over what that owl did to him.
: (I guess Mr. Mackey will never quite get over what that owl did to him.)
: If you think this is bad, you should see the Obamacare website.
: Neato! It's like a huge fort!

I looked up what the owl did to Mr. Mackey. You're better off not knowing. Though it was quite adamant about picking up your trash. Guess he took the lesson to heart.





We have a PO box key from the first day as well. I'll show off what's in them when we have all three keys. We'll be getting the last one in a few updates.



Don't forget to knock this Chinpokomon off of its perch. We need it for our growing collection.



The monitor goes right here, by the way.

: Straw Poll. How would you feel as a voter about the idea of dissolving the city council?



I tried to turn the quest in to Mr. Mackey, but for some reason he won't accept it as completed until we finish Randy's task. So whatever.

: You fart fiercely... like a farting lion. I wonder... has the Dragonborn finally returned?

: I hope you haven't already fallen in with a bad crowd.
: It's not too late for you, young man. When school restarts, I'll make sure Mr. Mackey mentors you personally.

: That's all you've got is a sign? At least crap on a desk or something.
: If you're trying to be the biggest fuck-up in your class, you've got a LOT of competition.

: If you have any evidence get it to Mr. Marsh, m'kay.

: This is why we have to reopen the school. Too many idle hands.
: Did you learn that language playing video games? They're so FILTHY these days.



Oh goddammit. What now?

: I told you ManBearPig was out there! He is attacking the Church now!

Can't leave this incomplete.



I also take this opportunity to equip the new armor. 170 points of armor is pretty damn good.



Might as well.

Video:

We're gonna be bringing our bestest buddy Butters along for this one. It's been a while since we've used him. The above video has the boss fight in it, as well.



: (idle) Did Al Gore send you? He is my greatest enemy.
: (idle) Al Gore is the only one who knows how to defeat me.
: (idle) I am ManBearPig and only the brave Al Gore can stop me!
: (idle) I fear no man, except maybe the one you call "Al Gore."
: (idle) Only now do you see the folly of not being Facebook friends with Al Gore.
: (idle) You should have never unfriended Al Gore. He was your only chance!
: (idle) It's a good thing no one listened to Al Gore, or I never would have destroyed this town.

: (attacking) Raarr!
: (attacking) Gwaaah!
: (MANBEARPIG RAMPAGE) Raaawr! Gwaaahh!!
: (CRY OF THE MANBEARPIG) Gwaah!

Anyway. ManBearPig.



As long as Al Gore has that mask on, he doesn't take damage from magic.



He also hits decently hard, and thanks to having almost 600 armor, he doesn't take a lot of damage.





ManBearPig Rampage is him attacking several times in succession and causing bleed with each unblocked attack. I honestly have no idea what Cry of the ManBearPig does. If I had to wager a guess, I'd probably say it buffs his attack.



Oh wait, I forgot. Damage over time effects completely bypass armor. Never mind. Business as usual, then.



Some folks claim this is a difficult fight. I do not believe them. The whole fight lasts less than 5 rounds. It honestly feels like a victory lap after beating the much harder prior fight.

: (dying) Al Gore, you finally beat me.



Yeah. Just like that we've beaten both of the bonus bosses in this game.



The rewards are pretty great at least. The Purple Heart Badge in particular is nice. It increases healing received by 250. It also has a requirement of level 14 when the cap is 15. So yeah.



The real reward is the ManBearPig claw. It is a straight upgrade to our current weapon in every way. The only way it could be even better would be if it had two slots for stickers.



Making it add slow just makes it even better.



Well then, shall we go take a peek at that Taco Bell construction site?