Part 31: Mission 32: The Art Of War

Our next target was to the west, just south of the enemy's headquarters. There was a portal here, and taking it out would strangle their flow of reinforcements - though, unfortunately, not cut it off completely. Now that they'd lost a portal in the Middle East, they were getting smarter about where they deployed them, and they had another in the heart of their regional HQ. We had a rough road ahead of us.

Mission 32: The Art Of War

Attending:
Lazarus (Forlorn Hope, Flamethrowers)
Habitually Red (Sane Max's Own, Flamethrowers)
Solrick Skaft (Scion of Emer, Flamethrowers)
T. Hinman (Ethereal Corps, Flamethrowers)
Logan "Hardtack" Smith (War Dogs, Paranormal Infantry)
Joe Moore (War Boys, Paranormal Infantry)
Patrick Gallagher (Just In Time, Elmag 1)
Svetlana Aliyev (Rusalka, Elmag 1)
Mael Radec (Radec's Rhinos, M1 Abrams)
Erik Spanner (The Toolbox, M1 Abrams)
James "Griff" Griffin (Party Crashers, M1 Abrams)
Basil (Paladin, M1 Abrams)
Jorji Costava (Cobrastan's Best, M1 Abrams)
Isara Gunther (Edelweiss, M1 Abrams)
Aethereon Darkfyre (The Mary Sues, UDES)
Stephen Smith (The Counts of Monty Python, UDES)
Anil E. Hilated, Esq. (Polite Obliteration, AMX-30)
Grand Inquisitor Solaus (Balkanian Inquisition, AMX-30)
Gregor (The Swell Swords, AMX-30)
Michael de Boulogne (Chivalric Order of Saint George, AMX-30)
Billy Mays (Infomercial Men, Humvees)
Langdon Alger (Red Sprites, Humvees)



We were surprised when we intercepted non-Alliance radio transmissions in the area. The language being spoken, it turned out, was Mandarin. Once we put a translator on the line, it didn't take her long to give us the news: these communications were from a battalion sent by Shen Tzu, the man who'd headed the coup in China.

The discovery only strengthened our resolve. Here would be our first chance for revenge. Revenge on behalf of the countless Chinese citizens who'd died choking on poison gas and the Alliance soldiers who'd been cut down when their lines had suddenly collapsed.




There was some initial resistance when they crossed the river. A few artillery shells took care of it.



Langdon Alger: Alright. Looks like we've got swamp up ahead.
Mael Radec: No sense getting bogged down in the mud. Spread out and try to find an alternate route.



The east was a bust...




... but the west gave a passage over relatively dry ground.



Stephen Smith: Hill up ahead. Good thing we don't have to slog our way through the mud. They'd probably have a nasty ambush waiting at the top of the hill.
Griff: So I guess now we take the long way there? I hope your brought a pack of cards or something, Stephen.
Stephen Smith: Eh, better bored than dead.
Habitually Red: You've obviously never had to stay in the infirmary.

The crew made their way to the hilltop. A fair amount of time was lost slowly filing everybody to the very edge of it, but we couldn't have done anything to speed it up without likely exposing ourselves to attack.



Billy Mays: WOW FOLKS, WHAT A VIEW!



Billy Mays: AND LOOK AT ALL THIS HIGH-END MILITARY HARDWARE IT COMES WITH! PERFECT FOR ANY ASPIRING DICTATOR!
Svetlana Aliyev: There's Tzu's men. Let's light 'em up.



Anil E. Hilated: Hey, no Forces of Darkness in sight! You can almost pretend it's a normal war.




Stephen Smith: Good thing these UDES aren't normal!



Hardtack: I just exploded a flying bird-monster with my mind, Anil, so I hope you enjoyed that while it lasted.
Anil E. Hilated: Hey, it's not so bad. It looks like these guys are using pre-invasion weapons. That means the magical bullshit's on our side this time!





Erik Spanner: Even if magic weren't, tactics would be.



Anil E. Hilated: Oh, shit! Where did you come from?




Gregor: Does not matter where magic man came from. When Gregor meets, they go to grave!




Isara Gunther: Alright, come on. The rest of you move up, we need every gun we can get on 'em!



Stephen Smith: I don't think these guys know how tough the UDES are! They've got IFVs trying to take us out!



Lazarus: Got golems trying to storm the hill!



Hardtack: They never learn, do they?



Solaus: Hey, guys?



Solaus: You picked the wrong team.



Patrick Gallagher: Wow! They never knew what hit 'em!
Basil: Bet that'll give old Shen something to think about.
Mael Radec: It's too early to celebrate. Scouts, move forward. Make sure the rest of the plateau is clear.



Stephen Smith: Let's see what we can find.




Stephen Smith: Quite a bit, it turns out!



Erik Spanner: Good, I needed a place to aim.




Jorji Costava: Is not much of fight!




Stephen Smith: Damnit! Jorji, I think they heard you!



Patrick Gallagher: It's a start.



Langdon Alger: Oh, geez. Everyone pick a target, there's plenty to go around!




Isara Gunther: Options are running out, though!



Griff: Ow, shit! We didn't get all the traitors!




Stephen Smith: Nice of them to come to us so we can change that!



Langdon Alger: Found the necro!




Stephen Smith: Bit occupied here, can't deal with him yet!



Griff: Can't get a line of fire on 'em through the trees!
Mael Radec: Fall back! There isn't much room to maneuver between the trees. We can force them to come at us through a narrow corridor.




Gregor: Gregor have line of fire anywhere!



Solrick Skaft: Looks like they're all coming at us from the right.



Jorji Costava: Not this one!







Langdon Alger: Goddamn, it's like they come out of nowhere!





Solaus: Didn't help 'em.



Joe Moore: Another one? These guys might be threatening if they could summon ghosts.



T. Hinman: The skeleton-man has been destroyed.



At this point, the action died down for a bit. The scouts went forward again, tasked with seeing if there was any further enemy presence on the plateau.




Once they'd come far enough ahead, the tanks started to roll forward with them. We'd nearly lost a UDES unit already. We didn't want to leave them without support if things got hot.



The plateau was uncontested, but the battle wasn't over yet.




Langdon Alger: Hey guys? Stonehenge isn't supposed to be in Russia, is it?
Erik Spanner: The bastards must be stealing our monuments!
Mael Radec: Whatever the reason it's here, it's probably important. Bring everyone up, we're going to storm the place.



Michael de Boulogne: Here comes the bombardment!



Mael Radec: Okay! Now Langdon, go down there and see if-




Gregor: Enemy has come to us!





Stephen Smith: Not much of a challenge. Alright, let's see what we can see.



Stephen Smith: Oh, shit, that's



Stephen Smith: a wizard!



Stephen Smith: Goddamn, I think there's two of them up there!
Langdon Alger: We've gotta fall back! One wizard at the top of a hill is bad enough, we can't handle two!




Solaus: Looks like they followed you back!



Basil: That suits me just fine.



Lazarus: There's one of the wizards.



Anil E. Hilated: The best way to use magic is magically enchanted artillery barrages. Battlefield results don't lie!



Isara Gunther: It's not quite a wizard, but that's one less golem we have to worry about.



Michael de Boulogne: And that takes care of the last wizard.
Joe Moore: Third one this battle. Weren't they supposed to be super-rare? I hope we're making these fuckers bleed.
Svetlana Aliyev: If we aren't, we'll keep killing 'til we do. Let's see what's down here.




Langdon Alger: Found a lower terrace here! This'll give us a good place to attack the higher one from.



Erik Spanner: We can do that just as soon as we clear out Santa's little helpers.



Griff: Harpy!



Isara Gunther: They've got a tower somewhere hitting us, too!



Svetlana Aliyev: Let's push our way up! Don't slow down for anything!




Svetlana Aliyev: Except to kill that harpy I guess, because it'd slow us down a lot if that thing paralyzed us.



Jorji Costava: Portal is ahead! All should shoot!



Griff: Soon as the area's clear! Don't want to be shot in the back while we're blowing that thing up.
Patrick Gallagher: It was only a thrower. What was it gonna do?
Griff: I'm thorough.



Langdon Alger: Hey, throwers are still dangerous to us spotters! And besides, there's still elves up here.



Mael Radec: We're still getting shot at by towers, too.



Svetlana Aliyev: Elves are down.



Basil: Wow, it's a good thing we didn't try charging this hill. That could've gotten ugly.





Mael Radec: I just want to say that, as your commander, I'm proud I haven't had to tell off any of you fucks for making an "It's over Anakin" joke yet.
Aethereon Darkfyre: It seems that we have once again brought utter death and desolation in our wake, as we are always doomed to.
Erik Spanner: Oh good, that means we can take out the portal now. Fire away, everyone!





Mael Radec: That's a wrap. All right, boys and girls, we're going in for repairs, and as soon as we're done, we're attacking the enemy headquarters. Get your rest while you can, because you're about to have the most important day of your lives.



Though he may have been fearsome in his own domain, Shen Tzu's armies proved no match for The Drunken Slavs. They did little but delay us in our goal of destroying the portal, and now, with its flow of reinforcements strangled, the heart of the enemy's strength in Russia was now in our reach.