Part 21: My Ski Trip is Motherfucking Retarded -- or -- L Gets What He Deserves
Chapter 14 - My Ski Trip is Motherfucking Retarded -- or -- L Gets What He Deserves
No sooner had D and Thailand broken it off, when I got a call on my cell. L and A had broken up.
Oh yeah... did I forget to mention that Lucas was in an important freestyle competition up here? And that uh... uh...
Even those he's a virgin, he's also a player and I... guess he cheated on Alex? He wasn't that clear about it on the phone and...
Uh... L had forgiven Alex for cheating on him with Dickbag and now it's considered water under the bridge? Did I forget that important detail from earlier? And now she was mad with him? ... Uh... women are crazy, right guys?! ...
It was up to me to get them back together... without getting caught in the crossfire...
...Why was it up to me, again? Whatever! I had a mission on this ski trip, and I completely forgot what it was!
Should I talk to L first? Or Alex?
Holy fuck, in the screencaps, it's like Brett can't even believe this shit.
And so I went off to talk to L.
I could have greeted him a few ways. "Hey." "What's up?" "Dude." But... none really seemed to differ, so...
What to say? "Maybe later?" "Not right now?" (Why did it seem like everything I was thinking was just synonymous for the same thought?)
Not right now.
...Hmmm. Should I ask him about it...?
Or just daydream about Cooking Mama right then and there...?
What say you, Intergoons?
Ah, right. We actually tried that earlier on if I recall.
Actually you can try to pepper spray Conor when you talk to him the first time in the shop.
Ski?! At a time like this?! My friends are in trouble!!!
What? But I didn't even say- whatever.
Why'd you do it?
L and Thailand?! What a cad! How could he cheat on A like that?!
Give the man a cigar! ...Hey, my Golden Lines are awesome!
Option 2 smells of lame ass Golden line.
Even stranger, L seemed into it...
Oh, fiddlesticks. Anyway.
Yeah, you really screwed up.
I wasn't really sure what to do...
Guys, I can't suggest L talks to her! I'm sure it would lead to some strange, convoluted "Game Over" as is the slang my friends and I use. I mean... What if this happens?
Why don't you go talk to her?
I don't think I should get in the middle?
And I don't even need to tell you what would happen next! No, really! It's not necessary to tell you what happens next! I don't need to say anything about L losing that freestyle competition or anything! Here's just a Photoshop of the very next thing that would happen!
So, obviously, I can't do that! It's just Game Over. No explanation. And as if that weren't enough...
Instead, I went with...
Let me talk to her.
And then L handed me...
... ... Uh... nothing! ...Well, okay, time to talk to Alex!
Hey, Al- wait, no, you're not Alex. What the hell?
... ... Uh... at any rate...
... Oh! I forgot to mention that Alex was here at the bar, too. *Throws up hands.*
So in one scene, in three subsequent action, Sprung has:
- Forgotten to even bother telling you why you got Game Over
- Forgotten to actually give you an item
- Forgotten to swap the character sprite
He wanted me to give you something.
* Hsssss *
Whoops! Anyway, at this point, I tried giving her the item L probably forgot to give to me... a rose.
No dice, there.
He wants to say he's sorry.
...Well, she had a point.
You're right! I left for a minute, then came to talk to Alex first.
Saint Freak posted:
We must break them up to go forward.
Just wanted to see how you were doing.
I could maybe say something like "L is a nice guy, but he's just confused." But... nah!
I'm here for you whenever you need me.
That means a lot.
So do you want to talk about anything?
What mission exactly? Alright, I know, I know. I could never really do that to L.
He's afraid he's lost the only woman he's ever really loved.
I went to talk with L.
What did she say?
She wants you to come talk to her.
What should I say?
Tell her you're scum.
But... argh, fine.
Tell her you made a mistake.
That's good. What else?
There were a few things to say, but I had to go with my instincts.
And you'll do whatever it takes to make it up to her.
Do I have to fucking think of everything?
Offer her some nice jewelry.
Don't we have some spare earrings? Jewelery.
You could sell the skis.
Dude. That is like, not even bordering on funny.
Fine. I gave him the earrings that Elliot was going to give Shana.
What are friends for? Oh shit! Thailand just walked in!
Got it. Now I had to distract Thailand while Alex and L worked things out!
...Uh, well assuming I'm saying something to Thailand and not Lucas, what do I do?!
Why, hello, my little slice of Pecan Pie!
I've been mispronouncing "pecan" all my life? News to me!
Thailand, you have to get out of here quick!
Why?! Because it's an emergency! Because...
They're bombing the building. For termites.
I was getting bored of all this delusion. Fortunately, L and A were talking over at a section of the bar that she couldn't see.
Disclaimer: Congratulations, we just completed this stage for the most part. I was going to show an alternate - and frankly, kinda creepy - way to complete the stage, but something happened.
So weird that there was no way I could really convey it properly "in character". So, to allay confusion, I - meaning slowbeef - am commenting in italics and "Brett," who I'm very sloppily pretending to be, comments normally.
Forget them. Your safety is all that matters to me.
The day was won! All I had to do was tell L "No problem" and everything would be okay! I could even maybe get some from Thailand! So, with that I said...
"Hmmm," I thought when I saw this. "I must have encountered a bug or something. Should I let the goons vote on it? Er... let's see where it goes and reload a save state."
Lucas is trying to reconcile with Alex.
What the fuck?! I knew Sprung was buggy, but I'd never encountered this! It had a reserve dialogue option for a completely different character! It got confused and thought we were still talking to Leanne!!!
Well, at the very least, it was a very sloppy way I could still show off the alternate way to finish out this stage.
Thailand must have heard my complete non-sequitir and come running back in!
Forget about Lucas, let's just concentrate on us.
You try forgetting about the only man who sent my heart a-flutter!
As if I ever could.
And with that, I kissed her out of nowhere.
Did she like it?
Brett, how dare you be so fresh!
I guess not.
So I kissed her again.
I told her I'd be there in a minute... uh... again? And L told me I was the best bud he ever had.
And she loved the earrings! All I can give you in return is this. But it makes a good gift, right?
Oh and she didn't want these.
Then he gave me a box of chocolates.
And with that, it was off to meet Thailand at the hot tub.
Also I made a Photoshop.
Remember what Sprung teaches us, gang. Just keep making out with a girl, even if she tells you otherwise! You'll win the day!
Also, though I've never seen this particular one, bugs like "previous dialogue cropping up in the wrong place in the covnersation" happen in the DS version of the game, too. So it's not like a ROM issue or something. Just a beta testing problem.