The Let's Play Archive

Stalin vs. Martians

by Zombie Samurai & Paingod556

Thanks! We like it too.Why not check out some similar LPs from our recommendations?
What would you like to tag this LP as?
Tag

Original Thread: Stalin vs. Martians: Whoever Wins, We Lose

If you liked this LP, you might also like Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal by Epee Em, Limbo of the Lost by The Dark Id and Final Fantasy IV by Mega64

Introduction

I know what you're thinking. You've probably seen bad games get a proper flogging around here. Hell, maybe you've taken some shitheaps to task yourself. But the question always remains when faced with a potential waste of bytes: Is it really that bad?

Well, you can leave that question at the door, friend. Along with your reason and your grip on reality.

Let's play a game so bad that it sits in the all-time bottom 20 on Metacritic. Let's play a game that was so bad it was pulled from Steam. Oh, no, wait, I mean so bad that is was pulled from ALL distribution EVERYWHERE.


Welcome to hell. Comrade.

Stalin vs. Martians is the legendarily shitty real-time strategy game spawned from a triumvirate of developers Black Wing Foundation, Dreamlore, and N-Game. Don't feel bad if you've never heard of them...apparently, they don't rate their own Wikipedia pages. It was released on April 29th, 2009, and remained available nearly a whole three months before being pulled from the public for reasons we'll wildly speculate on later.


No context asked, none given.

Steam tells me I bought this back in May of 2009, along with Defense Grid, for $12.99. I'm not going to dig any further or hazard a guess at how much I actually paid for this thing, lest I start screaming at light fixtures. I can only assume I bought it thinking "It can't be THAT bad," and was then unable to test my theory, as my PC at the time refused to run it.

I now know that PC was smarter than me.

This will be a screenshot LP, hopefully covering the entirety of the game's campaign. I say hopefully because I've already attempted Mission 2, and I'm left unsure that the game plays fair the whole way through, or at all, really. I plan on updating every other day, and will keep the bottom of this post updated with my projected update times.

Right then. Are you ready to defend the fatherland?


I doubt it.

Updates


Bonus Videos

The Let's Drunk Adventures of Paingod556
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 1: Sound design you plebs!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 2: You did not just boopYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 3: Is that a codename for Stalins bitches?Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 4: I can't words anymoreYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 5: You wanna go to Sydney?!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 6: Wait, can you really be pro at this game?Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 7: I'm sorry for biting your armYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 8: He RUINED the Soviet Union!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 9: I know how to count, man!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 10: Hey, you're not hating life anymoreYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 11A: We are all Ivan, WE ALL LIKE YOU! / This isn't even trolling at this pointYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 11B: We are all Ivan, WE ALL LIKE YOU! / This isn't even trolling at this pointYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 12: I've seen enough hentai to see where this is going...Youtube

Archive Index