The Let's Play Archive

Stalin vs. Martians

by Zombie Samurai & Paingod556

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Original Thread: Stalin vs. Martians: Whoever Wins, We Lose

If you liked this LP, you might also like Final Fantasy IV by Mega64, Final Fantasy III by Mega64 and Chrono Trigger by Quovak

Introduction

I know what you're thinking. You've probably seen bad games get a proper flogging around here. Hell, maybe you've taken some shitheaps to task yourself. But the question always remains when faced with a potential waste of bytes: Is it really that bad?

Well, you can leave that question at the door, friend. Along with your reason and your grip on reality.

Let's play a game so bad that it sits in the all-time bottom 20 on Metacritic. Let's play a game that was so bad it was pulled from Steam. Oh, no, wait, I mean so bad that is was pulled from ALL distribution EVERYWHERE.


Welcome to hell. Comrade.

Stalin vs. Martians is the legendarily shitty real-time strategy game spawned from a triumvirate of developers Black Wing Foundation, Dreamlore, and N-Game. Don't feel bad if you've never heard of them...apparently, they don't rate their own Wikipedia pages. It was released on April 29th, 2009, and remained available nearly a whole three months before being pulled from the public for reasons we'll wildly speculate on later.


No context asked, none given.

Steam tells me I bought this back in May of 2009, along with Defense Grid, for $12.99. I'm not going to dig any further or hazard a guess at how much I actually paid for this thing, lest I start screaming at light fixtures. I can only assume I bought it thinking "It can't be THAT bad," and was then unable to test my theory, as my PC at the time refused to run it.

I now know that PC was smarter than me.

This will be a screenshot LP, hopefully covering the entirety of the game's campaign. I say hopefully because I've already attempted Mission 2, and I'm left unsure that the game plays fair the whole way through, or at all, really. I plan on updating every other day, and will keep the bottom of this post updated with my projected update times.

Right then. Are you ready to defend the fatherland?


I doubt it.

Updates


Bonus Videos

The Let's Drunk Adventures of Paingod556
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 1: Sound design you plebs!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 2: You did not just boopYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 3: Is that a codename for Stalins bitches?Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 4: I can't words anymoreYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 5: You wanna go to Sydney?!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 6: Wait, can you really be pro at this game?Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 7: I'm sorry for biting your armYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 8: He RUINED the Soviet Union!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 9: I know how to count, man!Youtube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 10: Hey, you're not hating life anymoreYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 11A: We are all Ivan, WE ALL LIKE YOU! / This isn't even trolling at this pointYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 11B: We are all Ivan, WE ALL LIKE YOU! / This isn't even trolling at this pointYoutube
Let's Drunk 'Stalin vs. Martians' Part 12: I've seen enough hentai to see where this is going...Youtube

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