Part 3: 03 - Land of the Lost
03 - Land of the Lost
How do you 'lose' a section of a solar system?
Anyway, aboard the Great Fox...
Anachronisms! Let's rock out the obnoxiously generic rock music!
Now, meatbags, prepare for your destruction!
Three laws; shut up.
Sigh. You have no idea how hard it is to be a contemporary of HK47.
Just get back to work.
Hey, old man, nice milk-moustache.
What the- It makes me look distinguished!
Hahaha, you wish.
Hey, kid, you're in your dad's chair.
Oh, screw you.
Whatever, if you had just bought an iPod instead we wouldn't be broke right now.
Ah, crap, it's Pepper. Just shut up!
And you came to Fox?
All worlds are 'ancient'.
No, you see, God made this one a lot earlier than the rest of the Lylat sector.
I guess this explains how a space-faring civilization can lose whole sections of a solar system.
[This is a good place to point out the 'fur effect' they added in this game. The game was quite well received for its graphics, and this is one of the reasons. Pretty much all the characters with fur appear normal at a distance, but if you get sufficiently close to the character this fuzz appears on them to give them the appearance of actual fur.]
...have been ripped from its surface.
Damn. I would've paid to see that happen.
That also explains the triceratops that bounced off the hull last night.
We're gonna need a bigger boat...
...have repurcussions for the entire Lylat system.
Wait, we haven't missed the real fireworks? Awesome.
No! You have to prevent it!
...the Queen of the Earthwalker Tribe. Maybe she can help you further.
Awesome, I can finally buy a chair that I fit in.
Please don't do that again.
[This is the titular world map. It has five total locations, Dinosaur Planet and four other levels that will be explained as the plot develops. You start off only able to reach Dinosaur Planet, and doing so is done by completing a brief on-rail shooter, much like the fight against the airship, only with far, far better controls. All you really need to do is stay alive and fly through a certain number of Golden Rings depending on which level you're going to (1/3/5/7/10, respectively). There is a score component, but it has no purpose other than amusement. Still, this is a Star Fox game so they had to get flying in somehow. Overall, it's not really very exciting.]
Hold up. You aren't doing what I think you're doing, are you?
You are not screenshotting the shooter sections. This is a Star Fox game. Not gonna happen.
Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?
This. [Dinosaur Planet Landing: Viddler]
[Let me cover something for everyone who hasn't played this game. Krystal and the assorted dinosaurs (General Scales, the EarthWalker, the Cloudrunner, etc.) all spoke in 'Dinosaur'. In the following games it was retconned into 'Saurian', much like 'Dinosaur Planet' was changed to 'Sauria'. Nonetheless, Dinosaur is a Cracker Jack language; it's simply a substitution cipher. The code is thus:]
[Y exists outside of proper nouns as O and M doesn't change. Other than that it's just a simple substitution cipher, with one exception, proper nouns don't change. Shortly after taking control of Fox we get a translator so everyone ends up talking in English anyway. However, there is a way to unlock a Dinosaur mode in the subtitle options so you can actually see everyone talking in Dinosaur. The voiceovers are still English, but the subtitles become gibberish, even proper nouns.]
English: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Dino: URSTOVWXAZBCMDEFGHJKILNPOQ
[Here's a sample: Viddler]
[Notice how she says Prince Tricky in english despite nothing else making a lick of sense. Also note Fox's reaction. Yeah, Fox sort of writes himself in this LP.]
[That works out. Sometimes, it doesn't.]
[Now, to be fair, the VA actually said "Mo jkuvv!", but I guess the guy doing the 'translation' got really sick of it and decided to get lazy (three lines of dialogue in!) and forgot the 'jk' at the beginning.]
[The stupidest thing of all is how NONE OF THIS MATTERS 45 MINUTES INTO THE GAME. The entire exercise is rendered futile by you being given a translator. Seriously, what was the fucking point?]