The Let's Play Archive

Star Fox Adventures

by WeaponBoy

Part 30: 30 - No. NO. NO!

30 - No. NO. NO!

Wait a minute.




Bahahahahaha, get owned, bitches!

There must be more to it, Fox.

Maybe it's the shody craftsmanship on those sockets and some of the magic is leaking out.

I don't think that's how it works.

Look, it's magic. Do you know magic works, Harry Potter?

...I've been studying your mission.

What the fuck do you guys do when I'm not actively harassing you? Fuck goats?

I've noticed that there's something hidden...

You tell 'em, Fox.

Deep breaths, Fox, deep breaths.
















[What ever happened to the :tizzy: emoticon? I could really use that shit right about now.]

Fuck you all, and get out of my way.

Yeah, Fox, we just covered this.

Oh, right.

[Seriously, wasn't this shit implied back in the temple? This is like Ctrl-Alt-Del levels of unnecessary plot explanation.]

Hey, wake the fuck up, Tricky.

Yawn. It's not like you guys were saying anything new. I already told you there was a Shrine up on top of the temple.

[This is technically the Point of No Return. If you haven't yet you can collect any of the staff upgrades that remain (you know, only two of which are not required or handed to you on a silver platter) and get rid of any remaining Cheat Tokens). Technically, you can come back as long as you haven't picked up the next Krazoa Spirit, but why the hell would you?]

It's not hidden when we know where it is, you ass.

...I thank you for returning the SpellStones to their rightful place...

It's kind of hard not to notice a chunk of a planet reattaching and the detaching get again. If you hadn't interrupted I was going to say 'You're fucking incompetent, now get back to work.'

Grand. We know the Shrine is up top, but how the fuck do we get in? There wasn't a door last time.

Wow! A fetch quest, who would have suspected!

[Enough talk! It's time for some block puzzles! Fuckin' A!]

[This pit is a generic sliding block puzzle. You have to send the blocks careening into sun symbols where they'll stop and light up. You'll need to bump the blocks into one another to move them about to prevent them from hitting the walls (which causes the puzzle to reset, in case you fucked up). The floors have hints in the form of slight discolourations along certain paths, which makes no sense as the blocks are floating, but they do give you an idea of what to do.]

[Solving the puzzle causes a small chunk at the top of the pyramid to dialate.]

[Moving along we come to an elevator that takes us up top.]

[And...nadda. Fantastic.]

Is there something up there?

[The closer you look at this and the more you zoom in, the bright it gets. Also, as an aside, you absolutely need the scope for this. If by some fluke you didn't have it, you'd have to fly back and get it.]

This is not what you use HDR for!

[Fox getting blinded opens a door at the base of the pyramid.]

I swear to god, it's like every single creature, plant and object on this planet exists to make me hate it with all of my soul.

[Inside we find another block puzzle. This one isn't too tough to figure out. You just have to slide a block out of its hole, then slide it off into a seperate section and pull out the remaining block and put it into the now empty slot. The way you know where each one goes is based on the sigils. Notice the moon on the blue on the right? It's the only blue one and the moon faces us, so it has to go into the far slot with the blue flame above it.]

[We open the door as Tricky proves he is still an asshole.]

[Just beyond we have a maze. Not just any maze, though!]

[A maize maze!]

I know that was in square brackets, but it was like getting kicked in the balls.

[The real gimmick is that each time we reach an intersection we have to do some bullshit to get past. First off is a switch.]

[Then a fire blocking a switch.]

[Then a huge gap with a target on the other side.]

[Then a switch covered in brambles.]

[And we finally reach the end.]

[This room is deceptively simple. Well, it is simple, but it's still fucking annoying. Basically, you have to shoot the targets in order. They are, starting from the left: dawn, noon, sunset. Obviously, you shoot them in that order. The problem is two-fold: first, the thing rotates in the opposite direction, so even if you could aim fast enough, you still have to wait for the damned thing to do a full rotation to hit them. Second, the fucking thing gets faster, which, when combined with the stupid controls makes maintaining your aim as you time your shots really fucking tedious.]

[A transparent bridge materializes and some dragon heads shoot fire at us, but when we ignore them we get a Sun Stone.]

[On the other side we get more block puzzles.]

[And more awesome expressions.]

Fuck you.

[Below the pyramid we find a new puzzle. The grates lower themselves after set amounts of time. It's not as simple as just waiting and walking across, though.]

[As soon as you stand on a tile it loosens. After about two or three seconds, it plummets into the abyss, whether you're on it or not. The puzzle, then, is a matter of standing on a tile just long enough to not get killed while also not destroying all the tiles so you actually have something to stand on when the gate finally drops.]

It's never this easy.

Couldn't have put it better myself.

[See the sparkles? They're a wall. As you move around the room they define a maze. The maze even uses some of the tiles again as part of a different section of the path, which just makes it more confusing. Not too hard, though.]

[Not that easy, though.]

[More of the same. This time we've got the phases of the moon. Start with the crescent, then the half moon, then the full moon. It is rotating the right direction this time, but it still speeds up way too fast for it to be possible.]

[The Moon Stone is our reward.]

[We plop the stones into the pedestals back where we first met the King and...]

[...we find the entrance.]

Great, more fucking barrels.

[We're so close I can fucking taste the stupidity.]