Star Trek: Generations Part #4

Part 4: PAGE 04

Earlier this afternoon, we received a distress call from a Bulemian refugee ship in need of assistance. The Bulemians are a race of macroprotozoic life forms that have had very slow technological advancements on account of their lack of limbs. They communicate by forming bubbles on their mucoid surface in a complex signing alphabet.

Now, as I’ve had the story relayed to me, the moment the Bulemians materialized (and began collapsing) on the transport pad, Lieutenant Commander Worf drew his phaser and vaporized the entire delegation. When asked for an explanation, he proclaimed “one of them had a knife.” A fellow officer attempted to argue this, at which point Worf vaporized him as well, informing his colleagues the officer had also “had a knife.”

He then ran into the corridor screaming and, for the next two and a half hours, vaporized any crewmember he met along the way. By the time he reached the cargo bay, his phaser’s battery had run out, and he used it to club at least two security guards unconscious before he could be restrained.

When summoned to my ready room to account for his behavior, Worf claimed to be going through a Klingon life stage known as “MaQk’pahK”, similar to human mid-life crisis, only instead of suffering an existential crisis over one’s lost youth, it compels one to commit acts of incredible violence. I’ve since done an exhaustive search through our databases for mention of this condition and have found nothing. I have strong suspicions he made it all up to have an excuse to kill people.