The Let's Play Archive

Star Trek Online

by PoptartsNinja

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Original Thread: We can still blame it all on Admiral Janeway (Star Trek Online)


This LP is also available on the Internet Archive! Some video LPs are kindly hosted by the folks on This means the original source videos will always be available for download or watching, even if the original video hosts are no longer available!


Let's Play Star Trek Online!
It's a game with some bizarre problems (not the least of which: it thinks it's an MMORPG) which, nonetheless, still manages to be fairly entertaining.

Q: Wait, Poptarts, you said this was an MMORPG? Isn't Let's Playing an MMORPG kinda stupid?
Yeah, it would be-if I considered Star Trek Online to be an MMORPG. It really isn't (or, rather, it is in the same way that Dawn of War II is a real-time strategy game). Honestly, STO is a single-player story-based game where it just so happens you also get to pay for access to a terrible chat system and in which, I'm sure, there are several creepy people 'assimilating' (euphemism used in place of 'cybering') with each other.

Since I'm playing the game solo, and have a lifetime subscription; and since I'm pretty sure the story of the game is canon and there's probably at least one Star Trek nerd out there who wasn't willing to shell out $15.00 a month to play it, I figured it was worth a let's play. I can't promise I'll get to 25-star Vice Rear Fleet Admiral; but I will play until either I, or you the viewers, get bored and tell me to stop.

Q: Will you be showing off transphasic polaron antiproton tri-cobalt harmonic-frequency resonance inversion devices?
If I get some, sure. If I don't, probably not. I'll likely stick to phasers and quantum torpedoes; since they're honestly the best at everything.

Q: What ship will you pick at Lt. Commander, Commander, Captain, etc?
I'm going to let you guys vote on that, and pick for me. Also, I'm going to let you name my ship and my bridge officers (provided nothing breaks the EULA (caveat: if it's funny enough that I think it's worth risking the EULA, I may choose it anyway)).

Q: Why?
So I have something to do that doesn't involve spending money on Fallout: New Vegas or Fable III. I can't afford to spend money right now; but I can afford to LP a game I enjoy (and don't pay a monthly fee for).

Q: So, who will be our brave captain?
Perhaps this is a boldly-going mission for 25-star General Zapp Brannigan… I hear he defeated a horde of rampaging something-somethings in the something-something sector!

That's a great ide...
Wait, no, that's against the EULA and I'm just looking to show the game off, not get banned.

Instead, our brave hero will be the young Ensign Korvat.

Korvat, as you can see, is a Cardassian. In honor of the Let's Play Star Trek: Birth of the Federation, I seriously considered making him a Romulan; but then I'd be honor-bound to use disruptors and seriously: fuck that, phasers are better. So, instead of playing a snarky character that nobody can trust; I decided to play a snarky, grumpy character that nobody can trust; because for all the Federation knows, young ensign Korvat is a spy.

Regardless, since Star Trek Online does pretend it's an MMORPG, I'm going to include Korvat's logs (pre- and/or post-video, as appropriate, to give you a bit more context for each video so I don't have to describe what I'm cutting out).

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