The Let's Play Archive

Star Wars: Rebellion

by Pander

Part 21: Days 450-499: Meteor Isn't A Good Person.

DAYS 450-499

DAY 451: Reaching Into His Bag of Crix.

: We've received word from General Madine, Master Meteor.

: I like two-fers. What's the sitrep on Ghorman?

: Ugh. It looks like Emeril Lagasse mated with an elephant's ass. Lots of troopers, too. What about Uvena?

: Again, I'm stunned by the diversity in the Empire. They have more aliens than we do.

: Including Bin Esseda, anyway. I'm pretty sure he's not human.

: Actually, the numbers don't support that, Master Meteor. There had been more non-humans in the Alliance.

: Really? Where are they now? I never see any. Deserting cowards?

: They were Bothans, Master Meteor.

: Oh. They gave their lives willingly for a good cause.

: You sent them repeatedly on suicide missions.

: Nonsense, it was the Imperials who killed them.

: I...suppose that's true, Master Meteor.

: Sure it is. Glad you're coming around to my way of thinking.

: I suppose I am.

DAY 452: Mine!

Another mine to help bolster my industrial hegemony. Things are looking good.

DAY 453-4: Intrigue on Sullust.

: Master Meteor, one of the secret Bothan spy missions on a friendly system has actually uncovered a plot of insurrection!

: Wow. Illegal anti-terrorist actions 1, freedom and privacy advocates 0.

: He arrives on day 493.

: Let's arrange a welcoming committee.

: How's Sullust doing, anyway?

: Our politicians have been working overtime to correct the statements you've issued regarding the appearance, intelligence, and sexual virility of the Sullustan race.

: Good for them. I always do like to see busy bees in my army.

: Please stop talking, Commander. For the sake of the galaxy, stop talking.

: Someone has to speak out against the evils beleaguering our Alliance.

: Primarily how goddamn ugly those impotent Sullustan retards are.

: Oh dear...

DAY 455: Crix to the Future. (I'm out of Crix/Tricks puns)

: No sense waiting on them to make a move. Go kill someone, Crix.

: Aye aye, Commander.

DAY 457: A Bad Sign.

: So they have a Star Destroyer holing up in Sluis? That's kind of useless.

: We control all the systems, they have no diplomats, no armies. We'll hold easily.

: Perhaps, Master Meteor. What if they decide to bomb all your mines and refineries?

: Oh. Shit.

DAY 459: Some Good News.

: Well, Sullust is another step further away from the Empire.

: Fortunately the Sullustans have believed the past fifteen days worth of negative statements you've made have been due to the idea you thought it was Opposite Day. All fifteen days.

: Like I said, retards.

: Diplomatically we are gaining ground, but I think this is the news that you had been waiting for, Master Meteor.

: Yes, I believe you're right. That's gonna kill me a lot of Sullustans.

: WHA-

: I mean Imperials.

: Imperials first.

: First?

DAY 462: The Crix of the Matter. (Nope, I still had one more!)

: Goddammit Crix. What is the deal?

: We didn't have a clear avenue for the abduction. Things got a bit hot, and Carlist decide-

: I don't care about any of that! I told you to kill that bipedal ant-eater, what were you waiting for?

: We'll try again.

: You're damn right you will! Get your asses out there and put out some hurting!

DAY 471: Incoming to Sullust.

New faces were planning trips to Sullust.

They were going to control the Sluis sector's spaceways. Too bad they had no army at all to invade planets with. It still was worrying overall. Still, I couldn't justify sending the Armageddon Pickle there to chase around a worthless Star Destroyer. I just had to let them go.

DAYS 475-6: Ships!

: Neat.

: This is the strongest starfighter in the galaxy. They are very expensive, but will easily be a match for any starship they come up against.

: Neat.

: Anything else?

: We have deployed our first A-wings, tied to the Pickle.

: And...?

: Were you expecting more, Commander Meteor?

: No, just hoping Admiral Ackbar. Just hoping.

: Anyway, it's time. Let's get them down near Coruscant. I think we can take it.

: Aye aye, Commander.

DAY 477: Bad Idea Brewing.

I hadn't heard from Leia in a while. She was talking about finding ways of getting Luke to return. With a contingent of spec ops shadowing her, she had stalked off the grid. I had no clue what she intended...

DAY 479: Almost Good Enough, Crix.

: I said DEAD! KILLED! Get out there and KILL someone already!

: We'll try, Commander.

DAY 481

The Continuing Diary of Commander Wedge Antilles

Captivity: Day 291

Nobody is coming to rescue me, my captors tell me. Marshall Meteor Sully is a cowardly snake, they say. They wonder why I won't break, and tell them the location of the Headquarters. I reply with the assertion that it was certainly moved the instant I was captured, as Meteor was no fool.

It's all been a game with no winners. I've certainly come out the worse loser in this captivity. A number of my muscles have atrophied, and I certainly have lost any skills I had as a pilot with this inactivity. I don't know if Meteor is coming to rescue, and I no longer care. He's done his best for me, but it's been nearly a year since that disastrous mission, and I've resigned myself to my fate. I have done my duty, the greatest duty I could muster, all for the Alliance.

We will win in the end. The Force is with us.

Elsewhere, wheels were set in motion.

DAY 488

The Continuing Diary of Commander Wedge Antilles

Captivity: Day 298

There is a commotion. I hear the sounds of blaster fire growing louder. My faith in Commander Sully is being rewarded, I think. The guards are sounds like the invaders are being driven back. I know they'll be back, though. I am born again.

: Terrible news, Master Meteor! Princess Leia has been injured!

: What? How?! I never sent her on any missions.

: She went to rescue Commander Antilles on her own accord.

: Who?

: Commander Antilles. Commander Wedge Antilles. He was captured almost 300 days ago.

: Ohhhh, right. WEDGE Antilles, of course! How's he doing?

: He's captured, Master Meteor.

: So she went to the Master with a few losers and thought she could rescue Wedge? How stupid is that?

: Actually, she said she didn't do it to rescue Wedge.

: Are you shitting me? Then why'd she go to rescue Wegde if she didn't want to rescue Wedge?

: She was attempting to put herself at risk to bring Luke back through the power of the Force.

: That's much stupider.

: Is one sane, competent person in the Alliance too much to hope for?

DAY 489: Yes, Yes It Is.

: Okay, I'm happy you're injuring them, but if you remember I wanted a body count.

: We'll try again, Commander.

: Third time is the charm, right?

DAY 494

The Continuing Diary of Commander Wedge Antilles

Captivity: Day 304

There was another rescue attempt today. It too fell short. I appreciate the thought, I just wished our side was more successful in their endeavors.

: WHAT? I never authorized that!

: Apparently they were continuing the efforts started by Leia at rescuing Wedge.

: Am I even in charge of this army anymore? I don't think I am.

: Perhaps the troops have developed a sense of autonomy to complete missions they feel will ultimately benefit the Alliance, Master Meteor.

: I need troops who will live for me, and Bothans who will die for me. Anything else is unsatisfactory.

: I begin to see, Master Meteor.

: Stop those rescue missions and try to blow that ship up! Oh, and capture Needa, he should have arrived by now.

: I...I will relay that message.

DAY 497: Yoink!

: Threat averted, good. We've pretty much finished diplomatizing Sullust, move Dodonna on.

: As you wish, Master Meteor.

DAY 498: Goddammit Crix.

: You didn't even injure this one! Are you even trying anymore?

: Commander, it's very hard to just sneak onto a planet and kidnap a high-value target...

: God! I don't care! You're going after Bin Essada now, and I don't want you coming back without a corpse!

: Okay Commander, we'll not fail you again!

DAY 499: Huh.

: Whose X-wing is that?

: It's Master Luke's!

: Where is my sister?! Is she alright?

: What? How'd you know about that?

: I saw an event with the force, she was hurt by Imperials in a firefight.

: Are you shitting me?

: You mean the Force actually exists?

: Well, yes, why did you think I went off to train?

: Batshit crazy?

: I'm going to go check on my sister.

: ...shit, shit shit shit! Threepio, think he knows about the Death Star?

: It's possible, Master Meteor. He does have a knack for knowing things.

: It's about fifty days away from completion. I can't have him interfering.

: Let's eat up some time by sending him to Xyquine with Han and company.

Han was due to arrive on Xyquine in three days. Luke intended to hang around with Leia and assist her recovery in ways I'd avoided contemplating. Eventually I would send him to Xyquine, but for the time I was stuck with enemies around me, an unfinished space station, and a mere pocketful of hope.

: What if he decides not to go, Master Meteor, or he wants to stop your construction efforts?

: In that case, I might have to turn to-

: Commander! This is, uh...I don't really know what to say!

: Oh shit. Um, yes Luke? More bad news?

: No, wonderful news! Leia isn't injured Commander, she's pregnant!

: What? When did she get the opportunity to...