The Let's Play Archive

Star Wars: Rebellion

by Pander

Part 27: # Days 588-625: The Foundation of the Rebel Alliance Democratic Party.

DAYS 588-625

DAY 600: What A Swell Vacation.

: Where have you been, Commander?

: Vacation. I needed a break.

: Vacation?! You're the chief of our forces, you can't simply go on vacation!

: And yet I did. And it was great.

: Commander we are in a critical phase of our operations, you cannot simply run off to, wherever you went.

: Tatooine. All beach, no tsunamis. Plus, two suns means twice the tan.

: I don't care Commander, you are needed here!

: I am? I left some standing orders, we should have been fine.

: Explore, expand, exploit, and exterminate are inadequate, insulting really.

: How about the failsafe plan?

: Search and destroy? I suppose it worked.

: Intel came in, right?

: Yes, it did.

: A bit redundant, but we definitely know what to blow up on Commenor and Talus.

: And ship production?

: Hey, look at that, the world survived while I was out.

: What if we had been attacked?

: Well then we'd have to depend on you being all Presidenty, heaven help us.

: There was something unusual, Commander. Look at our expeditionary force.

: Yeah?

: It shot down a probe droid before it hit atmo.

: A medium transport used its single laser cannon to hit a two-meter target hurtling through space at five hundred klicks a second?

: Just like shooting womprats in my T-37 in Beggar's can-

: No, no it's not, not by a thousand orders of magnitude you bumpkin.

: We also took control of a distant system.

: Well great. See? Success all around. Maybe I could go home now.

: I'm sorry, we need you Commander. We do pay you well.

: Republic Credits? Perfect, if I wanted to buy Park Place and Boardwalk.

: What?

: Look, nevermind. I'll uh, get back to work.

: He's up to something.

: Does it bother you to have someone like him leading our forces?

: To no end. We need him out.

: I'll draw up some papers. We're in a good position right now, we can run things without him.

: No, I said I want him out. OUT. PERMANENTLY.

: Ohhhkay.

DAY 601-3: Growing War Near Coruscant.

The first step of shutting down Coruscant was developing a special operations corps.

Translated, it means I needed lots of guys blowing up lots of stuff.

Then came the battle.

: Commander, we have a dominating force in this battle. We shall ask for the surrender of the ene-


: What?

: Boom! Ha ha ha! Lit up like Christmas lights!

: There was no glory in that battle.

: Sometimes there doesn't have to be.

: Then why do you have a press corps following you around, covering this dubious victory?

: Oh, no reason.

DAY 605: I Warned Him!

: Stay quiet. The security here is tight.

: Ha ha ha, okay! Tight is right! Troopers is everywhere!

: I said shut up! The TIE we're hitting is two blocks ahead, I will not have you fucking this up.

: Oooooh, it looks like I'm TIEing your patience!

: ...

: You're sure?

: Yes Commander, I have no clue how he was found bound and gagged at the Trooper Barracks.

: Huh. Well, less ugly on Team Win.

DAY 606: How Many TIEs Do They Have, Anyway?

: Well done Leia! You've been on a roll lately.

: Well, it turns out I'm bombing for two now.

: What.

: The last claim I made was a bit premature, about not being...

: I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

: I do think it belongs to L-


DAY 609: Awww, He'll Be Thrilled!

I still don't know who talked me into naming that fleet.

DAY 612: A New Agenda, and an Old Friend.

: Commander, I understand you want to win this war.

: Uh huh.

: But your insistence on fighting lop-sided battles is not helping.

: What do you mean?

: ...

: Another glorious victory! Our fleet is dominating, our diplomats are focused, we're doing outstanding!

: Commander why do you keep talking like that? Why are there so many reporters here?

: Nothing much. What's the word from Lando, I heard he was looking for me.

: Admiral Calrissian completed an investigation of Ghorman, and has found something remarkable.

: What'd you find, you smooth son of a bitch?

: You won't believe it Commander.

: Whaaaaaa, ha ha! So that's where they went!

: No Commander, they just got here. Apparently Bevel has been travelling a bit on the Imperial Commander's dime.

: What's he been doing for Vader?

: Not Vader, Thrawn. Grand Admiral Thrawn. Intel suspects he's been running the show the last few months.

: Thrawn? Hadn't heard of him much. Go get me Bevel back.

: Alright. And the rest?

: Capture them, kill them, whatever. Make sure it's all good PR, though.

: On it, Commander.

DAY 613: Welcome Back, Kotter.

: Bevel! So good to see you!

: Oh fucksticks, you survived.

: Good work Lando. Go get me Pter, the pig Esseda, and that goatman Villers.

: I'm on it, Commander.

: Oh, okay Crix. Make it bloody.

: Hah hah. You've caught me again, Commander. Planning on building another Death Star?

: Doesn't matter, does it? The plans are gone. Your sleeves lack aces.

: Oh I was just being snide, I know you are being hamstrung by Skywalker.

: How's that?

: Well, let me put it this way. When it comes to trooper development using force powers, I know something you don't know.

: You always know the right thing to say, don't you, Bevel.

: I'm still alive, Sully.

DAY 614: The Sad Chapter Comes to a Close.

: Well. I suppose it's for the best.

: You brought the body, too?

: Yes Commander.

: He was popular. Give him a hero's funeral.

: WHAT? Master Meteor, you, you, you did horrible things to him!

: You accused him of crimes so despicable he would vomit!

: Yeah, but he was still popular with both the Rebel and the Empire.

: Call him a transformational figure, only slightly misguided.

: Master Meteor, is this related to the large number of agents of the press you have stationed here?

: Sort of. You'll see.

: Crix, get me the fat guy.

DAY 619: Consider Him Got.

: Put him in a cell. I just want him stored for a while.

: Aye, Commander.

DAY 622: More Done.

: Want him thrown in jail with Esseda?

: Nah. Throw him in gen pop on Kessel for all I care. Now get to blowing stuff up. Like Luke.

DAY 624: Finally.

: Hello Commander, mission accomplished.

: Righteous.

: We've also gotten word from Admiral Ackbar. You'll like this.

: Sweet, get building! I want one with the awesomest name yet.

: Already decided, Commander.

: Coolswa? That's it? That's the best you can do?

: Oh well. Make sure it accomplishes great things.

DAY 625: This Will Not End Well.

: What is he thinking? This is highly irregular.

: I don't know. Last I heard he was focused on building up the fleet...

: ...and engaging in some spec ops.

: Then why the hell is he calling this meeting? He's gotten the press from every coreworld news agency, including a couple sponsored in whole by the Empire.

: Whatever it is, it's big. I sense something ominous.

: I see him, he's taking the podium.

: Please, please, quiet everyone! Hello!

: I'd like to thank everyone on the Core and Rim systems for their attention.

: The war between the Empire and the Rebellion is becoming one-sided, as lopsided victories on Ghorman and Vagram have proven.

: Relief is far from the citizens struggling to survive past this conflict, though.

: Fat-cat toadies of the Empire, like Governor Esseda here, continue to rob the hardworking civilians in the Empire to feed their own insatiable desires.

: Meanwhile, upstanding workers of the Empire, like Ambassador Pter Thanas, are silenced by others like Esseda, afraid of making peaceful overtures to the other side.

: I am willing to make those overtures. I am willing to work with the other side, on the provision that liberty and peace be restored to every citizen, and the Emperor abdicate the throne.

: With the leverage I have established during my tenure as Commander of the Alliance Forces, it is a reality we can hope for.

: However, I do not feel it will be possible unless I am given leave by the people of this Alliance to pursue such options, given the power to make it happen.

: This is why I would like to announce my candidacy for President of the Alliance.

: I seek to give the people who rely on me and my forces the choice they desire, to stick with the policies of the current administration which has kept us hamstrung for the past two years, or my plan to deliver hope to everyone, hope of a better tomorrow.

: It won't be an easy path for any of us to take, but so long as everyone has the hope and determination to make dreams become reality, we have nothing to fear and everything to gain.

The cacophony of mixed applause, confusion, and reporters asking questions loudly worked together to drown out sound. I could only hear a raucous din. Well, almost. I heard one lone voice thrown out in despair, frustration, and resignation.

: I really hate that man.