Part 35: Days 851-890: The Battle of Coruscant.
DAYS 851-890: The Battle of Coruscant
DAY 853: Motivational Speaker.
: I've had it. I've officially had it.
: I can't think up any new insults or digs to push you to stop failing.
: R2, activate that chip I had you install into Threepio.
: Chip? What chip?
: You there! You cephalopodic cretin! Desist from failing to develop weapons of war immediately!
: What is this?
: Oh my, I don't know, I feel positively vulgar, Admiral!
: Perhaps it is your own fault though! Try using your overly large cranium for once and I would not have to berate you thusly!
: What monstrosity have you put inside me you clattering bag of bolts?!
: A Stewie Chip? What nonsense are you talking about?
: Heh heh heh. I need to do this more often.
: Ackbar, get me something useful soon, or I'll develop a Mr. Bean chip and send Threepio to live with you.
DAY 855: What are they, Australian?
: I have found fools, gullible fools on Chazwa!
: They join our cause, without recognizing the full scope of our nefarious mission!
: Bwah ha ha ha!
: Outstanding, another useless system. I am so overjoyed.
: Ooo, the wretched imbecile is taking baby steps towards sarcasm, how utterly futile!
: Shut up.
: You DO realize you were the one who sent him out to those backwater hives of parasitic hicks?
: Shut up.
: Just stick in there Karrde, I guess. The more systems we have, the less hiding places they have.
: Artoo? I think I made a bad move with the Stewie Chip.
DAYS 857-858: Lesson learned.
: It's time to put our manpower to the test and rescue Skywalker, Commander.
: I'm on board. Who can we send?
: Me and about fifty infiltrators.
THE NEXT DAY
: Anything learned?
: Our shuttles were pinned down upon landing by legions of stormtroopers.
: We scrubbed it after losing over half our force.
: Want to try it again?
: Not really.
: Shouldn't you go back and retrieve your manhood? It's quite clear you left it there, since you don't have it now.
: I think that ran its course.
: Thank you, Master Meteor.
: Shut up.
DAY 870: Results.
: We have made progress, Commander, the Dauntless class cruiser is space-worthy.
: Well done Admiral, I knew a little motivation was all it would take.
: This cruiser is about the equivalent of a second generation Imperial Star Destroyer.
: And go to Hell, Commander.
: Later, for now I'll just sit here basking in how right I always am.
DAY 872: The Assault of Ord Mantell! (Where?)
: Commander, remember that small Imperial-controlled system in the Outer Rim?
: We're assaulting it.
: People are rioting, but we've got guerillas on the situation.
: Uh huh.
: Is there anyone there I could talk to who cares?
: Mmmmmm nah.
: I'm going to go get captured.
: You don't say.
: I hate my job.
DAY 886: Foreboding.
: We've hit Coruscant, Commander.
: This fleet is unparalleled, the most powerful assembled since the Clone Wars.
: Can we punch through the shield generators?
: Not yet, the two together are slightly too powerful.
: You have your orders then, get rid of one of them.
: No problem.
DAY 890: The Fall of Coruscant.
: Told you I could do it. No no, hold the applause, I'm blushin, kid.
: It's down? Great! Anything else I should know?
: I detected something with my force powers...
: We knew he was there.
: I just wanted to mention my amazing FORCE POWERS!
: Behold and tremble, lest I burn you with the power of my mind!
: I don't think the Force works that way.
: Oh, something else of note.
: You took a diplomat with you on the combat mission?
: Yeah, as a decoy.
: Well, it made so little sense, we thought nobody would see it coming.
: Anyway, stand by fleet bombardment.
: The shield generator was hit, the planet's defenseless!
: Nuke every garrison, burn the lands, kill everyone!
: We'll stick to the first part.
: Oh boy.
: Twenty-seven Wookiee regiments.
: Cue the Ride of the Valkyries.
: They're underway!
Footage of the Invasion can be found here! (note a familiar starship firing at the Imperial Crest)
: We did it!
: I can't believe it! Actually I can! Situation report anyway!
: Prisons are being emptied now, Commander!
: Find Luke?
: Not yet, but we've heard reports of a fight in the throne room.
: You are beaten, Skywalker.
: So are you, the palace is falling around you, father. The Emperor is defeated!
: Underestimate his power at your own peril, my son.
If you will not join us, then I must kill-
: There he is, shoot him!
: Oh bloody hell.
: woop woop woop woop!
: Drat, he got away. Well, Luke?
: I'm ready to go.
: We're done here, Commander. The Emperor and Vader have wigged out. The capital is ours.
: Bravo. Send the Headquarters here. We have a new home.
: I think the war is coming to a close.
(Coming up next time: Hundreds more days!)