Part 36: Days 891-1009: The End: Part One.
DAYS 891-1009: The End: Part One
DAY 891: When We Last Left Our Intrepid Heroes...
: Woo hoo! Back that bigass RV up into orbit here!
: It shall arrive in forty days.
: What a rip, what do I do til then?
: You could hunt the remnants of the Imperial fleet, capture Vader and the Emperor.
: Oh yeah! That! Send out our fleets.
: Kill, kill, kill, kill, die, die, die!
DAY 892: Get Rich, and Quick!
: I did some talking with Leia, Commander, and we had a revelation.
: Everyone in my family will become a Jedi.
: It's as though we are interwoven threads of destiny within the tapestry of the For-
: So wait, EVERY one of your children will be strong with the Force?
: So it's like the most dominant genetic trait ever?
: I don't know about that, but every one of our kids will have it, yes.
: Have you thought about how much money we could make with that?
: What are you talking about?
: Sperm banks, dude. Your sperm and her eggs? Force kids EVERYWHERE! The ultimate in designer babies!
: You're a sick, sick man.
: You know that, right?
: You find a closet, I'll get you a cup.
: Luke? Is Commander Meteor there?
: No, thankfully. Why?
: We've completed the first Dauntless Cruiser to his specifications.
: Including the gauss cannon that...'fires kitten corpses across the vastness of space.'
: I feel dirty.
: I'm back, here's your cup skywalker, make with the money sauce.
: Hey Wedge, what's up?
DAY 895: Battle of Uvena.
: We've found a major Imperial fleet hiding above Uvena, Commander.
: Launch fighters!
: They're jetting, Commander. The 9600s were too much firepower.
: I don't like chasing. I preferred it when they hunted us.
: Could we maybe-
: We're not giving them any of our ships.
DAY 900: Something Meteor Doesn't Care about : Part XII.
: It took a little doing, but we've subdued the rioters.
: The system was never really Imperial-leaning anyway, it was isolated cells inciting trouble.
: With them gone, the system is completely clear, ready for development.
: Preliminary reports suggest mines.
: Believe it or not,
: Meteor isn't at home
: Please leave a message at the beep
: What? Comman-
: I must be out or I'd pick up the link
: Where can I be?
: Believe it or not I'm not home!
DAY 916: Good Idea.
: Commander, it's been almost a month, and we've not found where their fleet has gone.
: It's time to start a probe campaign.
: Excuse me, a what?
: Probe, Y-wing recon teams.
: Ohhh, that kind of probe. Yeah I got it. What's their deal?
: We've established Y-wing squadrons with survivability modifications and redundant hyperdrives.
: They can scout the furthest reaches of the galaxy to ensure the Imperials are not hiding in the Outer Rim.
: That's gotta be a sucky job. Riding in a Y-wing for weeks at a time?
: Think of the smell! Ew.
: Always good to know how much you care for your men.
: I try.
DAY 930: Strike up the Band.
: The Headquarters have arrived, Master Meteor.
: Cool! Back that baby on up!
: Send out a message to the populace on Coruscant, if they misbehave we'll drop this thing on them.
: I shall do no such thing, Commander! Mon Mothma told me to avoid enabling your miscreant deeds.
: Bah. Useless droid.
: Commander, we've found them.
: Uvena? They've been underneath our blockade for a month? And we just found them now?
: God we suck.
: Capture them all. Send special forces first, if we assault they'd probably get away in the chaos.
DAY 938: "Special" Forces.
: I'm here.
: I'm detecting a presence, I think it's-
: I am detecting a presence! My Force powers have sensed Emperor Palpatine!
: I was just about to say that.
: But everyone knows you have Force powers. I'm advertising here.
: Just capture the ugly old toad.
DAYS 942-946: Abduct-o-Rama!
The people and messages moved so quickly. I didn't know what was going on precisely, the op tempo and my BAC were both way too high.
Han took the first failure kind of hard...
: I can't believe that jackass kept waving a stick around and making whooshing noises.
: He looked like a retarded kid with a shower bar.
: That wasn't as bad as when he kept shouting "Force Push" at the stormtroopers who pinned him to the ground.
But like a good trooper he got back to his kidnapping.
One Garm for three Imperials was a steal.
DAY 949: Oh Ye Gods.
: Ghorman Garrison, check in. Ghorman Garrison, check in.
: I repeat, check in Ghorman Garrison.
: Commander, I can't get in touch with the Ghorman Garrison.
: What should be there?
: Two Gunships and a transport.
: Lazy assholes.
DAY 953: The Uvena Campaign Continues.
: Look who I found, Commander.
: I don't care.
And I didn't. I was focused on the true prizes, the Emperor and Vader.
: Thanks asshole, good to know you care.
All my efforts bent towards their capture, and the painstaking preparations were set.
All the best warriors were selected to lead the missions. All the not-so-best warriors were selected to gallantly sacrifice themselves for the greater good.
: Are you even listening to me?
Uvena would be the end of it all, I swore upon my stained soul.
: I think he's in some sort of trance.
We have come too far, I have spent too much of myself, drunk far too much, to let this opportunity slip through my fingers.
We would have our victor-
: That felt good.
: Later, sucker.
DAY 967: Him? Really?
: That's surprising.
: I know, but it's true.
: Is he going to be a dick about it like Garm?
: I don't really care about it actually.
: I just want a little money, a little freedom, and a case of Delicious Hostess Fruit Pies.
: Can I materialize them with Force powers, Luke?
: Yeah, then I don't really care.
: Promote this man, Luke.
DAY 969: Ready! Set!
: I still think our troops can handle a ground assault.
: No chance. We're sticking with covert missions until we have no other choice.
: We can do it! They have no troops left, no shuttle to escape on-
: That we KNOW of, Crix. I said no.
: Commander? We're ready to go.
: Healed up now, eh?
: Just point the way.
: I want a two-fer.
: Half our men on Vader, the other half on Palpatine.
: Gods that's a lot of people.
: We can't lose.
: Comms up. Luke, what's the surface like?
: Found the throne room, but I got isolated from the group. I sense Vader. He's **re som****re, I **ow **, oh sh**!
: Luke? Crap.
: What happened to his feed, Crix?
: YEEE HAW! WHOOOO! WHOOOO HOOO! WOOO HOOO HOO HOOOOO!
: Crix you son of a bitch!
: Commander, it's Skywalker, I lost him.
: He had a shuttle hidden on the far side of the city. Apparently there was some chaos that left it unwatched.
: You guys caught them right? You have the entire fleet ready and poised, right?
: They kinda got moved around when Crix launched an unplanned assault.
: Commander, it's okay, you can tell me you ordered it. By now I really don't have any more respect for you to lose.
: It wasn't me this time, honest! Crix did it!
DAY 973: This Is Crix's Fault Too, Somehow.
: Mind explaining this one, guys?
: No clue.
: Just got away, I guess.
: The Empire held Wedge for something like two years, and we can't hold one of their guys for ten minutes?
: If you'd cut off their feet like I said this wouldn't be a problem.
: Commander, our fleet's arrived in the Corellian Sector.
: Good-sized fleet!
: It's our second largest. We have four fleets that could defeat any of the Imperial forces remaining.
: What about those two star destroyers?
: They disappeared. We did get one final cryptic message about forces beyond our scope.
: How ambiguously open-ended with the potential for introducing an antagonist beyond the Empire storyline!
: Yes, it's quite clever, isn't it?
DAY 999: Now It's Just Getting Silly.
: You were already Force-pulling on my heart strings.
: Luke, any chance I need to go to Dagobah? Like, right now?
: Word is returning from our first Longprobe Y-wings, Commander.
: Oh boy, I love news!
: ...They displease me.
: Well, no sense in killing the messenger.
: Are you su-
: I'm going now.
: Oh come on, you couldn't have known how I was going to finish that sentence.
: Everyone around here is so paranoid.
DAY 1009: For He's a Jolly Good Fellow!
: No I'm not.
: Yes, you ARE.
: No I'm NOT. Dammit Meteor, if I haven't killed you yet, I probably won't in the next five minutes.
: See? Six minutes from now you'll kill me.
: Look, we're there. You can take the blindfold off now.
: Really? Why? What is it that you want to show me?
: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
: This is the greatest birthday I've ever had.
: I love you all, each and every one of you.
: Except you Crix.