The Let's Play Archive

Steins;Gate

by ProfessorProf

Part 12: More experiments are performed on bananas





Faris posted:


Subject: The decisive battle is close at hand nya

Kyouma's pretty good nya. Who would've thought you'd "notice" nya. In that case, you should understand nya. The Red Southern Cross has already advanced to the hatching stage. For that reason, Faris is already headed to the "Holy Grounds" and... nyo, it's nothing.

Rintarou posted:


Subject: Re: The decisive battle is close at hand nya

I see. That means that the human who can see those stars. In other words, the Holders of Original Sin - those reborn of Prototype 13, other than myself, have begun to assemble here in Akiba.

I hurriedly open the windows. A breeze starts flowing in, but it's so weak that it only gives me some peace of mind. Setting the electric fan to 'strong', I place it in front of my face.

We need an air conditioner... I turn on the PC.



However, our PC maniac Daru bought some parts and did various modifications for it, so the contents of the box are now top-class stuff, apparently. I don't actually do much on the PC, besides updating the Future Gadget Lab homepage, checking the mail, going around news sites, and occasionally visiting @channel. I wonder if the new Titor is still on his advent...

@channel posted:


229: JOHN TITOR♦f8VuYnoyWU 07/29/2010 15:04:29
It seems everyone's interested in the time machine's structure. I certainly don't mind telling you.
I mean, I think it's impossible to reproduce it with current technology anyway.
Especially one part, which SERN won't complete until 2034.

Time travel works by altering gravity.
Basically, you can think of it as using the twin paradox.
But that alone isn't enough to reverse time.

230: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:05:04
Still here faker?
ur annoying. Go away.

231: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:05:13
You're a pretentious hipster who can control gravity, I see.

232: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:05:57
The twin paradox? Is that like the Rip Van Winkle effect?
That's just slowing time down, not reversing it.

233: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:06:11
Who gives a shit about the time machine's structure.
Gib me stock prices nao.

234: Hououin Kyouma 07/29/2010 15:06:39
> > 229
You use Tipler Cylinders and Kerr Black Holes, don't you?
Just like ten years ago!
And your time machine is a 1970 model Chevy!
I know all of it!

235: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:07:01
> > 229
Stopped reading at "I'm a faggot rape my face!"

236: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:07:23
> > 232
The twin paradox and the Rip Van Winkle effect are different things durr.

237: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:07:50
time traveler lol
john titor lol

238: Anonymous: 07/29/2010 15:08:35
> > 234
Chevy's an American car, right?
I'd rather go German with a BMW lol


264: KuriGohan and Kamehameha: 07/29/2010 15:19:38
> > 234
By Tipler cylinders, are you referring to the Tipler machine?
u retarded? lol

The Tipler cylinder must theoretically be 10km in diameter, 1000km long, weight as much as the sun and revolve 2500 times a second to be a time machine lol
How do you fit that onto a Chevy?
Also, the Tipler Machine even can't go back into the past further than it was made.

Enough with your delusions
@channel is not your blog
I wanna see how Titor responds though

265: JOHN TITOR♦f8VuYnoyWU 07/29/2010 15:20:29
This is a surprise.
Does this mean people of this age already know about my machine?
By ten years ago, you mean that's when I appeared?
Then I believe Hououin Kyouma saw me from another world line.
At least, I personally have not gone to the year 2000.

What's fundamental for time travel is that the revolving black hole and Tiper cylinder agree.
You should be able to understand Kerr black holes by looking at the Penrose diagram or Tipler's calculations.
You can time travel by generating Kerr black hole pairs.

266: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:21:06
In Japanese plz

267: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:22:26
Titor srsly came 10 years ago? Sauce?

268: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:23:17
Wtf are kerr black holes and perwhatever diagrams?
Explain using boobies oh erotic one!

269: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:24:22
Anyway, I'll give you 1000 yen to ride your time machine.
Not a cent more!

270: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:24:45
> > 268
Sauce is Houou's delusions lol
Real deal

271: KuriGohan and Kamehameha: 07/29/2010 15:25:34
lolololwuuut he didn't deny it lololol
All aboard Hououin's crazy train, prepare for a trainwreck lol

Kerr black hole time travel is certainly theoretically possible, but

1. How do you get black holes to spin? Don't tell me you wait until you find them spinning naturally?
2. How do you pass through the hole's singular point? There's no way a Chevy can withstand all that gravity.

272: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:26:00
Why the short explanations, Mr. John? An idiot? Wanna die?

273: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:28:08
Still no stock prices? (・∀・)っ/凵⌒☆

274: Hououin Kyouma 07/29/2010 15:26:54
This isn't my delusion.
There's no doubt Titor himself spoke 10 years ago.
There was even a book. Look for it in Book Town.

His Chevy should have a gravity distortion unit.
The Titor 10 years ago said that too.


312: JOHN TITOR♦f8VuYnoyWU 07/29/2010 15:37:55
Yes, I do have a gravity distortion unit.
My time machine is not SERN-made, but bootlegged, meaning this unit is a little unstable.

This unit produces a micro singular point, regulating the gravity of passing time.
That's possible by injecting electrons into the singular point.
The singular point then rapidly rotates causing a local gravity sine wave.
I'm not a specialist, so I can't explain the structure any further.

Let me just say that Kerr black holes can be manufactured.
I assume everyone's aware of SERN's current 2010 experiments on black hole creation.

313: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:38:28
tl;dr STFU!!1!1!

314: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:38:42
Unstable? Isn't that dangerous?

315: Anonymous 07/29/2010 15:39:31
If you make a black hole, earth would be swallowed \(^o^)/
Titor wants to kill all mankind and scatter the earth across the universe too!
Just die faggot!

316: KuriGohan and Kamehameha 07/29/2010 15:40:27
It's not that you won't explain, it's that you can't, huh, lol
How do you set the destination? Earth's always moving through space you know.
By the way, I propose the Titor = Hououin theory lol.


379: JOHN TITOR♦f8VuYnoyWU 07/29/2010 16:01:20
Destination setting uses VGL
Variable Gravity Lock System
It's set using the gravity distortion unit.
It's set to read the local gravity of the destination,
locking the Tipler sine wave onto that location.
It's guaranteed to land on earth by perceiving its gravity.
It calculates with the optics systems of four cesium clocks, so its measurement error is infinitesimal.

380: Anonymous 07/29/2010 16:02:03
That Whore-owing namefag needs to shut up lol
I never heard of any Titor from 10 years ago lol

381: Anonymous 07/29/2010 16:02:09
So, the universe is deep in Titor's shit.

382: Hououin Kyouma 07/29/2010 16:04:15
Right, I think something like that was written in the book.
But in the end, all you've posted is copypasta from the book.
Not just Titor, but anyone could do that.

383: Anonymous 07/29/2010 16:05:01
John's so moe. Mai waifu
I recognize different opinions.

384: KuriGohan and Kamehameha 07/29/2010 16:05:41
I'm feeling more and more disappointed...

Still nothing concrete
I recognize your efforts
Eye won't be deceived



We need to work on the problems that we put on hold. Specifically, the Microwave Ophone (Temp). I want to find out the secret behind its mysterious function.

Recently, I asked Daru to connect the Microwave Ophone (Temp) to the PC. He finished setting it up yesterday, and now he's doing the wiring in the development room.

"Hey, Daru. Why the X68000?"

It's a machine that's over 20 years old and has extremely low specs...



"So it’s the same reason as for certain Japanese protagonists being odd-eyed?"

"Not getting you, bro."

"Romance."

"Well, if it's romance, then I guess it can't be helped. In any case, there weren't any other PCs I could use."

"What about your newest one?"

"Don't screw around. If I connected my PC to something this ridiculous, it might stop functioning properly."

What a selfish guy... Also, we're the ones who made the Microwave Ophone (Temp), so I'd like it if he didn't call it ridiculous.



"Yeah, I went to the university this morning."

Yes, I went to the university in the middle of summer holidays to find out why and under what circumstances the bananas became gelatinous.

"By looking through a microscope, I found out that it was shredded at the molecular level."

"Shredded?"

"It didn't look like the result of a phase transition. It became something that wasn't an actual banana..."

"It... can't be corrosion, right? It's not possible for corrosion to occur in only 2 minutes."

"...I just remembered fractal structures."

"Menger's Sponge, right?"

"Yes. It looked like infinite fractal-shaped holes opened up in the banana at the nano level.

"Isn't that dangerous? What is happening here?"

"...I have one hypothesis."



Daru gulps down his saliva.

"The hypothesis is that it's the effect of the microwave oven's electromagnetic waves."

"Eh, what do you mea--"

"If my guess is correct, the Microwave Ophone (Temp) has the potential to become a powerful weapon of mass destruction. If we were to use it for military purposes, we could rewrite the history of war. Heh heh heh..."

I distort my lips to look evil. Then, after taking out my cellphone, I put it against my ear.



"Everything is the will of Steins;Gate, mankind cannot oppose it. El Psy Congroo."

"Quite talking with your fairies. I'm done with the connecting."

I want to explain to him that I'm not speaking to fairies, but I can’t do it. If I were to reveal their identity, I would be treated as a traitor. Then I would become the enemy of other troublesome opponents, while still fighting The Organization.

Now that the Microwave Ophone (Temp) is covered in wires, it really does look ridiculous. Even though we only connected it to the PC, the result looks like the work of something evil.






Faris posted:


Subject: So that was it after all nya

The Holders of Original Sin, that is, the Prophets nya. Among them is the girl known as "the Fallen Angel who Accepted Chaos" nya. I attached a picture of her face, so remember it well, nya. By the way, if you lack resistance, just looking at the image will cause the Divine Eye to activate Original Sin Excitation (Mode 666: Compulsory Receptor Release) which will annihilate you at the subatomic level. So be careful, nya!

Attached file:


"So, what shall we do?"

"Prepare the bananas."



The money that I used to buy them belongs to her. What a tractable girl. I don't know whether to call her a nonchalant idiot or just softhearted. She can't even predict that if she lets me buy the bananas, I'll just use them up for experiments.

And so, I put the bunch of bananas into the Microwave Ophone (Temp).

"If you use it all, Mayushi will be sad, yknow? You bought the bananas with her money, right?"

"The money that she gave me was research funds."

"Anyway, you don't have to use the whole thing, bro. Just one is enough."



"We can't reconstruct the world's ruling structure if we're stingy with money."

"You're the only one who wants to reconstruct it or whatever."

He lost all enthusiasm upon coming back to the lab. What an inconsistent guy.

"Come on, start the timer with your cellphone."



Calling complete.

"R-E-N-G. This is the Microwave Ophone (Temp). From here, you can control the timer. After entering #, please input the heating time in seconds."

"We're gonna have to add a skip function to the Mayushii Guidance. Waiting like this is irritating."

"For example, 1 minute would be #60. 2 minutes would be #120."



Input complete. The turntable inside the Microwave Ophone starts rotating in the opposite direction.

"2 minutes sure is a long time..."

We don't even know if it really must be 2 minutes, but this was the setting the first time that Mayuri discovered the freezing(?) function, so we use it in our experiments. Of course, we tried 60 and 180 seconds, as well. If we set it shorter than 120, the freezing either stops halfway or nothing happens at all, while setting it longer makes the changes get even larger.

"But, if it happens because of the electromagnetic waves, shouldn't it affect our cells, too?"

After being silent for a while, Daru asks that question.

"Well, did you ever try heating yourself in the Microwave Ophone?"

"There's no way I could fit in there. Anyway, what's the sauce on this being the effect of the electromagnetic waves?"

"If I were to put it into words... The intuition of a mad scientist."

"Oh, so there's no basis for that."



"Wasn't it 'Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration'?"

"No. In recent years, it has become widely known that that quote is wrong. Fwahahahaha!"

"So you're telling me that Edison said 'be inspired!'?"

"Yes, 'be inspired!'"

I don't know if that was exactly what he said, but I'm sure it was something along those lines. I only found this out recently on a wiki.

"Therefore I, a genius mad scientist, am always--"



"Now that I think about it, by doing this, the banana will only become gelatinous again, and we don't discover anything new."

I feel like I just wasted 120 seconds. Daru opens up the door of the Microwave Ophone (Temp) and looks inside.

What is he so disturbed about?

"Oh... Woahhh?!"

"What are you doing?"

"No, ehmm... huh?
...it's gone."

"What's gone?"

"The banana."

What the hell is he saying? Not understanding the situation, I push Daru aside and look inside the Microwave Ophone (Temp).



It's not here. The inside is completely empty. The banana that we put inside just about 120 seconds ago disappeared without a trace.

I take out my phone after a short sigh, and start speaking to the silence.



"W-What do you mean by 'something outrageous'?!"

Daru is speaking, but I ignore him. My heart is beating fast, but I try to look calm.

"Put emergency order number 666, The Grim Seal, into operation right now.
...What?! Government approval?! Are you stupid? There's no time for that! If this keeps up, the country is gonna blow up!"


"T-Talking to yourself, derp."

"Shut up, you Faris stalker. So, where did you hide the banana?"

"Who're you calling a stalker?!"

"Take out the banana, right now. Are you planning on becoming a street magician or something?"

"YOU'RE the one who hid it, right?"

An uncomfortable silence. I just realized that my throat is all dried up.

"What did it disappear?!"

"I dunno!"



Video: Where did you go, Banana?

I take out the turntable of the microwave oven and look all over it, but I can't find a single trace of the banana.

"I... I got it... So this wasn't an electromagnetic wave weapon, but a microwave oven which allows teleportation...!"

"W-Whaaat--
...But that's nonsense."

"There's no other way the banana could've disappeared from the closed space of the microwave oven!"

"For now, we should calm down.

"Y, Yeah. That's right..."

We both take deep breaths. Right, I will eat a banana to calm down. I extend my hand towards the banana bunch while thinking that...

...and I start doubting my eyes.