Part 18: Chapter 7-1

So when we left Vickie, she had escaped her cell and drug induced coma, returning to the house proper. There’s something up here to look at…



Rest in peace, Hawker. You died as you lived; an entirely extraneous character.



Yeah, well, we’ve established that you’re a pretty terrible cop, Vickie.



Heading east, we’ll just…



…





Get blown the fuck up by a land mine. Yes.



Astonishingly, this does not kill Vickie outright, but will knock her into a critical state with an annoying red tint bordering the screen.

So moving more carefully, we’ll enter the house proper, and…



…







Yeah, there are multiple land mines, and two blasts is enough to kill Vickie. In the event of…land mine (sigh), the damage can be healed with those health kits from before.



But we’ll just reload and try that again, slowing down to scan the invisible pixels where Vickie got blown up.



You don’t say.





…well, don’t do that, then. Just an idea.



This sounds like a horrible plan. Like, worse than crawling over it on your belly and hoping it magically pops into your inventory.



Oh, I neglected to mention that you can’t just *see* those land mines when you get the cursor prompt. You first must break out the metal detector.



Set it to 1, as indicated by the instructions. Then you can find the damn mines.



Doing so up by the gate reveals the second one.



You don’t say. Sadly, we have nothing heavy at the moment to place on top of a land mine.



So we’ll run back inside and see if Paloma has any ideas.



Scully and Mulder will save us! But only after a long debate on whether a plot this terrible is the work of aliens or merely a lazy game studio.

“I saw Hawker’s body outside…the killer really went crazy with it…God, I’m gonna make him pay for that.”



And…that’s it for Paloma’s help. Returning to Walter Sullivan leads to a slightly different chat with Vickie.

“So, you’re our partner in misfortune.”



“Thanks for the pills. I’ve got some of my energy back. We’re going to try to get you out of here.”



“I might be able to help you out with that.”

But first I want you to break into that cell over there and retrieve the One Ring, cleverly disguised as an invisible batch of pixels stuck in a wall. The tables have turned, my friend!

“Here’s some gingerbread, it should ease your hunger a little.”



And dialogue choices. As always, taken in order.

“We’re going to try to find a way to get you out of here.”



Keep up the optimism, friend.

“Have you talked to Susan Giarelli?”



“Did you know her before her abduction?”



STDs: The real killer.

“If you’ve been here for a while…perhaps the killer has revealed some of his plans? Megalomaniacs love to boast.”



What? Chuckles loves to jabber. “I’ve left a spot in my cold room for you, McPherson!”. That was just pointless.

“I wouldn’t make the mistake of underestimating him…I know we’re dealing with a master of manipulation.”

I’d say we’re just dealing with some amazingly incompetent cops.



“How did you end up here? Are you from around here?”



“Are you Gary Anderson? The county sheriff was investigating your disappearance…I thought you were dead.”



Again Gary, if you were hunting, you were presumably armed. Then again, Chuckles does have magic bow and arrow skills. And knockout gas. And land mines.



But raising you as a zombie and letting you stroll on out is just kosher.



Anywho, we’ll be needing inventory space soon, so it’s a trip to the item box to dump off the metal bar and the magnet string contraption.



Over here is the grate Paloma knocked over in her escape.



We’ll just…shove that into Vickie’s tank top? I don’t know.



Next up in our quest for heavy objects is the archery target.



Or you could *not step on the mine*. You know where they are now. They have visible blinking lights.



…and I’m out of inventory space. Oh yeah.



So we’ll just run over here and carefully plop the grate onto the land mine. This amazingly does not kill us.



Back over here *again* to grab the target.



This is just silly even by the game’s standards.



So with that settled, we’ll…



…





Yeah, there’s a third mine hidden by the first one.

Over here is another fallen grate.



*Now* we can head on out of here. Sorry Paloma, have fun entertaining Walter in the…



…and Vickie is electrocuted upon trying to pass the fence. Like the mines, this knocks her into critical status.





Unlike with the mines, she won’t kill herself by trying it a second time.



Curses. And us without our lockpicks.



The answer is…well, good luck figuring this one out. You need to break out the metal detector again and set it to 4 this time.



Then scan over here with it. There is no indication that you should be doing this.



Hum dee dum.



Gadzooks.





I…well, why not? Why not.

Back over to the box, pick it open. Inside…









Only one screw holding this thing on, which can be removed with the fork.





Amusingly, rather than messing with passwords this time, we can just take the entire keypad off of the thingy.



And so we do. I’m sure that will come in handy.



I get the bright idea to call Claire here, but Chuckles has apparently thought of that too. Still doesn’t explain why he didn’t just take Vickie’s phone.



Heading through the now not electrified fence, we get a mysterious text. Unknown name. Probably a telemarketer.





Well shit, that explains the sniping from the woods. It all makes sense now.



Speaking of, further on is one of the victims of the magic arrow assault.



That…I got nothing. He was part of a large squad of cops who got mowed down by one dude with a bow and arrow. Wearing a gas mask, so his vision had to be shit.



Another cop to find nearby.



Another one over here.



Neither does mine for continuing this game.



You maniac, you broke his Swatch. We’ll take that.



And semi-hidden off to the west is one more cop, this one with a pocket knife. Yoink.



The fork can be used yet again to pop the battery out of the broken watch. I feel like MacGyver.



Chuckles again heads us off by disabling Sheriff Kate’s car. Speaking of which, I don’t see her around.



Oh, she’s in the trunk. Rest in peace, Sheriff Kate. You died as you lived: a bumbling hillbilly fuck cop who did nothing of note except interfering in an investigation. Thanks for the metal detector, though.



And thanks for this too.



Up by the front door, there’s a tiny (but thankfully visible) pixel here.



I weep at the thought of not being able to spend another hour CSIing random objects.

Next up, we reenter the murderer’s house! Because we’re apparently very stupid.