Part 24: Chapter 8-3
So yeah, welcome to the end (thank God). Hawker lies behind this door.
Vickie draws the gun she pilfered from Chuckles.
“Phallic imagery? What?”
Okay, so, this bit is interesting, if also bullshit. Hawker is somewhere in this small maze of pipes. We’ll be creeping along one click at a time, which sends Vickie to the next section of maze.
Creeping along…
And things go all first person for this branch. We can go left, right or forward. I’ll go forward.
New branch, again, left, right or forward. I’ll take forward again.
Whoops, Hawker around the corner.
To be fair, that big splotch of blood on the floor should have been a giveaway.
The proper course of action is to get to the first branch, then go left, turning on the fan at the end of the path.
Okie dokie. Then head up to the corner Hawker is hiding at, but don’t go past.
With that done, walking right in front of Hawker is still a bad idea. So go right instead…
Take a left, and we wind up right behind Hawker, thinking we’re coming from the other way.
Hawker doesn’t comply, but slowly gets up.
http://youtu.be/oeSjXyNyc0E
Yeah, well, I would have liked a different game in general
That outfit is the real pity. He needs 50 ccs of top hat and cape, stat!
This will be important, so yoink.
This too.
Perhaps you shouldn’t have shot him 11,000 times.
Yeah, should probably disarm the serial killer. I don’t care how dead he looks.
Semi-hidden across from him is this room, with more stuff to take.
Oh, he had one of these too.
Opening the desk with the lockpick gun…
We’ll be needing this shortly. Next, check the board above the desk.
That’s…huh.
And check the bag under here.
Yoink.
Yoi…
Hi, Paloma. No, I’m not saving you yet. I’m dicking around with my inventory!
To save a little room, I’ll go ahead and hook Hawker’s busted PDA to the cable I’ve been carting around.
Now run over to the computer room and check the desk here.
PDA goes here.
To the computer, where we now have this choice.
And the password. STARS!
Well, there’s your explanation of who did what…kind of.
Back in here is a locked door to the other side of Paloma’s room. Spring that with the key Hawker had.
But then Mr. House shows up and…oh, it’s Hawker.
Yes, yes, I heard him, Paloma. He is a giant disembodied television head.
So yeah, here’s the game’s final dickhead move. Hawker, as it turns out, was *not* kidding with his little Revolver Ocelot threat.
Oh, sure, you can go ahead and save your game just fine. Should your timer of about five minutes run out, though…
http://youtu.be/qC10jzjbQ48
You get a bad ending. That’s not the fuck you, though. No, the fuck you is that any saves you make in this room will magically revert to *right before the bad ending kicked in*. Saved right when you came in? Loading that save will boot you straight to the ending. Saved right before freeing Paloma? Loading that save will boot you straight to the ending.
Ahioghsdg;ihg
Argh. What the hell? If I hadn’t had the foresight to not test Hawker’s little threat and cleared the game proper before killing myself to see what happened, I probably wouldn’t be completing this LP. Well, I would have had to backtrack to my last save which was somewhere around the Hawker fight, but still.
So fuck that noise, let’s spring Paloma. Go behind her to this box on the floor.
Can we save a few for this game’s designers?
Chuckles, your gun is ridiculous.
I’ve got to find a way to block this game from my memory.
Shoot it with your gun.
Or use the boxcutters we just picked up, whichever. I don’t know what the game expects you to do if you entered this section without that.
Foam goes here.
K, now I’ll just cut Paloma free with the…
Tsh.
Fine. I’ll unlock her with the pickgun, then.
I’d be touched if I wasn’t so full of hate.
And then the buzzer clock thing on the wall goes off, like the one upstairs in the morgue.
Apparently not, Paloma.
“And then I’ll unhinge my jaw and eat you like a snake!”
This is made all the more dramatic by the lockpick I’m still wielding.
Oh god, can we put Paloma back in the chair now?
So new timer to death. First hit the fuse box here.
Take it.
Put the keypad on the lock. Put in the password A64571.
Looks like a big vat of Joker Venom, but you’re the detective.
For fuck’s sake, stop monologuing while the timer is ticking!
And the game’s last puzzle (of like twelve).
And it gives you the answer. I still refuse to forgive you, game.
We need to get it to 24. So put a clip on the 16 wire.
Ahem. Use the cutters on the 16 wire (the alligator clips apparently having no use except to make me waste my time clearing inventory space).
The 7 wire.
And the 1 wire. Babooshka.
http://youtu.be/267UVDoedVs
And there’s your game. I…really? This is what they came up with? I mean, the original Still Life had its problems, but it was still genuinely spooky at times, and it had Gustav, and a killer who wasn’t…you know what, my head hurts. Good night everyone.