The Let's Play Archive


by RevBabyKiller

Part 4

Alrighty, I'll size these little bastards up a few notches if it'll help with those people who don't have 22' monitors (That's right, 22 feet). Anyhoo, this next stretch is pretty much just walking in a giant square, still without a map to provide any kind of positional context.

This scintillating imagery is taken from the second ant fight. Or maybe the third. Actually, it could be from any of the dozen or so ants that emerged from the wall hoping to find food and a better way of life and finding only a diet of rocks to the face and stabs to the eyes to sustain them. Fuck ants. At least they shoot raspberry jam out their ears

Eventually killing all of those ants bears fruit. Golden, key shaped fruit. What wonders will this key unlock? Another leg of the giant square map? A small room with some barrells in it and maybe a root? Possibilities, possibilities

Looks like someone put a hurting on that table. Lardie Skinless is gonna be pissed when he finds out he has to eat his slop on an angle

I was a little wary about this mission at first, but I think this is the tipping point. Not only do I have a magical scroll capable of carrying everything that I can conceivably lift, I know have a magic bag that can hold an infinite number of rocks to put inside the magic scroll. That's double compression, people, it's simple sci-enomics

With my magic sack in hand, I am now able to get my rocks off and all over the enemy twice as fast. Taste the efficiency, you rat ant-bastards!

Time was my father told my to avoid water that came in varieties other than "clear". Water, he said, should, in and of itself not have a colour. Stay away from those water types, especially of the blue and/or pink varities! Turns out he was as wrong about that as he was about it being safe to let Elizabeth wander around the woodpile unescorted. This water not only tastes vaguely like regular water, it heals what ails me (ant bites, mostly. Sounds pretty weak I know, but they're pretty big fucking ants). Huzzah, an infinite health regeneration point! Prepare for backtracking aplenty

Good thing these chumps didn't know about the pink fountain. Or maybe they were just too short to reach. Either way, score one for the 4'+ crowd

These giant, grenade shaped earings will provide the perfect accessory to my brown leather suit. Ant-fathers, lock up your ant-daughters

Here are stairs that go up

And yet, here are those same stairs going down. Which one is it Stonekeep, better get your story straight

Get your ants of me, you damn dirty ape

If I could travel back in time to ten years ago, I'd kick whoever was in charge of storing ants in barrells squarely in the nuts.

Here's another ant-hole, which I seem to get called a fair amount.

I've run out of ant related quips!

Here I am, brand ant-spanking new to the whole ethereal adventurer scene, and already I've amassed a few gold coins, a few extra daggers, a suit that I'd be embarrased to be seen in even at a clown gangbang, a sword, explosive earings and now a table top doubling as a shield. No wonder that Khull Khum bitch didn't want to do the man-dance (The clothes on man-dance. At least initially).

Next time on Quad-Quest: Oh shitfuck-cock, there's two of them and they're coming right for me!