Part 33

Farley made me, he said something about you sucking balls at the leadership game and then he mumbled something about mutiny or something, I don't know

Maybe Farley ain't as unpopular as Thun had led me to believe. Maybe this place is more harmonious than I'd thought

Interrupt Farley, will you, well, I've got news for you captain of tiny town,

Two can play the interuption game! Although being a jerk may jeopardize my request, there's more than success or failure at stake here. There's a little thing called principle. The principle of acting like a jerk and not being held to account

That's good, I suppose. What kind of help will you provide? Soldiers are what I need mostly, maybe there are a few extra sitting around that I could maybe.. I don't know... take with me? No, ok worth a try. Anyways, continue

For...everything?

"My people"? How pretentious. Maybe you can lend me some of your troopies, or assign some bodies to fire down some growlies and hop in their fart sacks and goddamn I hate people with the most tiny amounts of authority who flaunt it like it was a six inch penis. They're dwarves, remember.

Giving me Karzac, huh? I Guess I could do worse. Like with anyone else from your army, for instance

Are you giving me a homework assignment old man? Say what you need to, cause if you'd just spit it out now you'd save me a lot of walking. And if there's one thing I hate about adventuring more than fighting or lifting the heavy lootbags, it's the walking

Now that they think I've left the claws are coming out! Jokes on them, because I haven't moved at all! Maybe their eyesite is motion-based like my garage door light, but without the implied threat of force of a fully automated garage door to back them up

Reasonable. Surely in this modern age of sinking castles and giant ants they won't hold desertation against him. It's not like he gave you guys all names that are very close to "thud"

Stonefuck, first they make fun of his brother's condition and then order him into exile. This guy's heart must be rock hard, like one of the rocks in my inventory and not like my currently flacid cock. This place is a cocktail weinerfest

Exiled and now sung at? Harsh, but luckily Farley is far too steadfast and resolute to be scared by their melodic words. Right, Farley?

Shit no. At least wait until I get the cool shit back that I lent you

Asshole! If it wasn't for this swanky new infinite ammo throwing axe (wrap your brain around that one. You throw it, but there's always one in your hand. It wears on me just thinking about it, chewing at the already ragged edges of my mind) this would be a very shitty time to be a single and looking handsome sewer adventurer 20/m/lifeless body at the precipice of a crater but my corporeal body is in a dwarven stronghold but will travel.