Part 43
So long sucktown! I hope you all fucking choke! Present company excluded, of course
A new level with fresh new promise of excitement and, time permitting, adventuration. What wonderous wonders of splendiferous amazement await us in this area I can only pretend to bother to imagine
It's a valid question, and one that will require great soul searching and pondering at a later time when there's less promise of both feeding and grounds to be had
What in the tiny basketball sized orb we call earth of the world is this giant golden gecko leg looking thing blocking my path? Kudos to whoever had the foresight to build a comically over-sized manacle for just such an occasion
Around the corner another discovery. It's like a shimmering, writhing wall of gold that cool to the touch and yet oh so hot. If happiness could be expressed in terms of erections that I've got an adult male dwarf in my pants right now. But that's a story for another time
Another leg! We can now reasonably conclude that this giant golden snake-like creature has two legs on its left flank. I've got to know more, and nothing will distract me!
What the shit is that in the distance, some sort of fun-time purple floating splooge?
It is! I can't decide whether to magick axe it or rub my face in it. All I know for sure is I'm going wherever it's going. Flee if you want, I'm harder to shake an angry fist at an adorable puppy
A ha! Looks like I have the upper hand! Also I have the only hands other than Karzac. Regardless, flying into a dead end was a foolish mistake purple rain, and now I'll have your ass for breakfast
What manner of witchery is this! It teleports into the wall somehow, yet when I try nothing happens other than me walking comically into the wall, getting laughed at by Karzac, and proceeding to sulk in the corner for five minutes before trying again. This will require further investigation
Dear Diary, weird purple paranormal shit going on here, must resolve before asshole ghostbusters come to steal credit again. I'll cross the streams upside their head!
Back on the trail of the golden mystery. What might this be
By the gaping anus of anyone unfortunate enough to fall asleep on their stomach when I'm around, that's no two-legged giant golden serpent at all! It's a full fledged dragon with (presumably) four legs and maybe even some wingage. Of all the sexy adventures I've been on so far, this has the potential to be the sexiest!
Addendum
Squad 1: Apply Magickal Axes to Dragon Face
That got her attention! But unfortunately for her she has...not quite walked, or even fallen, but more of...remained motionless right into my trap
Squad 2: Brace for Counter-Attack
Those eyes have super-pissed written all over them
I'm not afraid of being yelled at, even by a four-legged gold mine such as yourself. Do your worst!
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uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkkk
Tired out already? Shame, cause now you're proper fucked. Let's fucking do it, Karzac!
Squad 3: Parry the Flames and Stab Her Right In The Fucking Oh shit I'm fucking dead
And so ends the short and in no way sweet tenure of Drake Wraigthington, adventure having guy. Been swell, and I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere about not fighting dragons unless you're Batman and even then only if you remembered to wear your dragon flame retardant cape that day, but I can't seem to find it