Part 22: Sidetracked (V) - Rainbow ShellApart from the Obel ruins, there are several less time consuming quests we can do at this point. So I'm going to do them because I like money and SP.
...eeeeverywhere I gooo...
This quest requires 80 ATK. Motherfucking 80!
The hero of the island nations good enough for you?
This requires 18 MAG and 15 SKL.
Better send a caster, right?
Just leave it to me!
I'm going to get all the use I can out of that ludicrous MAG stat of yours.
This one takes 20 SPD.
Trishtan can take care of it straight off the bat, but eh.
I'll take care of it.
With all the boosters she's wearing, she's the fastest person in the party right now.
This one, we have to do ourselves. We have 30 days to get 10 Bonito. If you'll remember the previous fish-related quest we took on, this one is solved in exactly the same way.
...so let's get to work. World map, here we come!
A couple of months later...
Uh shit I uh forgot to buy fish and now X & Co. are sitting there with a bunch of orders they can't deliver. Clumsy me!
It gets a special purple stamp of shame.
This is what happened...
This is all sorts of hilarious for all sorts of reasons but we'll get into that at another time.
Anyway, the rewards for this include another Tome of Black Arts. You can't stack them (generally a character can only wear one of a particular type of equipment) but we have very few pieces of equipment that boost MAG to any significant degree so it's very nice to have.
Here's my report...
You brought the kangacorn with you, didn't you?
I can't buy it, but I dug one up a few maps back.
That's acceptable, right?
But hold on a minute, this looks complicated.
Not very lucrative as quests go, but what the hell, it's Cheap-o. Also, if we're lucky, he might sell us some prism specs later on.
(...It wouldn't be dumber than anything else I've subjected this guy to, that's for sure.)
Anyway, to the coast! Again!
Feels a bit weird coming back here so soon, but this is the last battle on the Deserted Island.
No need to kill everything that moves? Fuck you game, you're not the boss of me.
This one's a bit tricky. The crab has the shell. Unfortunately we're not the only ones after it. We've seen the mercenary group before, but this is the first time they're all gathered in one place. (You can see the yellow merc's hat sticking up over the crab's portrait.)
Let's wreck their shit! Gretchen gets the bench this time; Ameria is up. No further changes necessary!
As usual, Millay and Wendel get to move first. I'd make a crack about fast women but I'm too classy for that and also Wendel would murder me.
This one is new and of course the leader of the group of assholes who randomly show up to get in our way is a fucking elf!
Well, good job in getting one... But it looks like we're going to have to relieve you of that burden now.
Come to think of it, this is the first elf I'm actually going to get to beat up! And you better believe I'm about to enjoy it immensely.
We're too far away to do it right now though, so Kika and Lazlo have a little chat, between four... uh, swords.
Yeah, it has been a while.
I never thought we'd fight together again.
Yeah... It's good to have you back.
Red merc murders the crab. Whichever mercenary kills it is going to take the shell. It's technically possible to get to it first and you even get a reward (a piece of platinum) for doing it, but fuck that, I want to kick all these guys' asses anyway.
Yellow merc goes and takes a couple of shots at Millay.
Millay informs him that he's being obnoxious and kindly asks him to stop.
The mercenaries are actually pretty powerful, even though they don't look like it in this battle since all my characters are ridiculously good. They also come with high level elemental beads which can be a bit of a pain, as Ameria seems to have noticed.
The leader is a caster, and a competent one at that. Here she's about to blast Wendel with Breath of Ice, the third level water spell. It was shit in IV, but here it's pretty decent, with a nice big (3x3) area of effect.
Her plan has a fatal flaw, though, which shall soon become apparent.
Oh yeah, here's why.
Forgot to pack Concentration when you came out here, didn't you, you silly elf.
And then Wendel strolls on back to the water terrain because Extra Move.
We could easily kill this guy right here and now, but the elf bitch isn't dead yet and that is unacceptable. Lazlo just tosses down a wind bead instead.
Spear merc pokes Millay a little. Red merc decides that having single digit HP is not fun and guzzles down some mega medicine. Too bad, you're not going to survive long enough to take another turn.
Mercenary Leader still hasn't learned anything.
Kyril and Millay team up to end the blue merc and pick up a Unicorn Orb from his
And now it's just you left.
Oh, wait, you're dead too.
Picking up the Rainbow Shell ends the battle regardless of how many enemies are left, but, well.
Lazlo (re)gains his first level, and that's that.
Like I give a fuck.
Pictured: another useless S-rank reward. Hooray.
Yeah, I've no doubt. Next time, my fighters will have second level MP.
Like I said, not very good rewards, but I'm sure Lazlo is happy to help his old buddy Catman.
Last thing of note in Middleport: a new location has opened. It also has its own music and if you wait a bit (or skip ahead) you'll find that it also contains a nice surprise for series veterans.
In fact, it contains the best surprise for series veterans.
And then, night falls.
I was severely injured... Until recently, I could hardly even walk.
Injured? Tsk! You're pitiful!
Wendel is kind of a dick sometimes. I am fully prepared to forgive her.
What?! I'm just saying what's on my mind.
But maybe you should keep it there...
Who do you think you are, standing there acting all sensible and shit. Autism ho!
Well, even so, you've really cleaned up well, Kyril. And you're strong, to boot.
Well, you're looking less and less impressive the more awesome returning characters we collect.
Wendel always says the first thing that comes to mind, so it must be true!
Eugene! What are you babbling about? Get a grip, you spineless twit!
And that is why the image of her teaching magic is hilarious.
Still taking votes. Next time, I may even get around to using them.