Part 34: The Emperor's New Clothes

Last time, we found out that fucking everything is Salum Barows' fault! We also ruined all his plans, took the Dawn Rune and went off with his daughter, leaving him to his sad, lonely fate, and we felt damn good about it, too.



A few seconds later, our party gathers outside the mansion, where they find the music of Rainwall has changed to something a little less upbeat. As usual, we'll listen to what the others have to say before moving on.

I've decided to serve you and milady, Your Highness!

You're only coming because Luserina is, aren't you?

Chuck remains our storage guy for the rest of the game, but we've seen him fight for the last time. Despite his spiked knuckles, he's not really the type who wants to hurt people. (Never fear, we have more than enough people who are precisely that type.)

Kisara went ahead to Raftfleet to get ready for everyone.
Me? I suppose I'll keep my good eye on what Armes is up to for now. I'll give Dinn an update on everything, too.

Off screen, preferably.

I can't believe Lord Barows would do something like that... And I trusted that lousy toad!
Remember, though, Your Highness. This ain't Luserina's fault. Her family may be rotten, but she never meant no harm. I just hope she isn't blamin' herself for this mess...

One day someone will need to have a talk with you about double negatives, but I'm far too excited to sit down and do it right now.

Ha! Lucretia almost scares me sometimes. You know, I think she knew things would turn out this way before she even came to me. Lord Barows can hatch himself a decent plot, but Lucretia's in a class all of her own.

And that's why she's a boring character.

All right, one more sweep before we go.

Yes, I brought all the items with me! Each and every one! I'll deliver them to you later.

I've sold off all the salt, so there's not much of importance left, but it's nice to know.

Lord Barows doesn't seem so intimidating now, does he?

He never seemed intimidating. Disgusting, yes. That's probably the most dangerous thing about him, though.

I'll come by later, with the stuff Chuck's got. See you in Raftfleet, Your Highness!

Take your time. It's not as if I can use you in my party or anything.

I've hidden Norden away someplace safe. He'll be fine.
Swift investigations! Privacy guaranteed! Nothing but the straight facts! Not to mention post-case support!

...you don't have to advertise a service we've already paid for.

At least I assume my "people" took care of that at some point.

Preferably using Salum's money.

Anyway.


But good tactics mean nothing without the support of the people. Lord Barows should have realized that.
It looks like time's run out for Rainwall now. It's about time I got out of here.

Rainwall won't exactly welcome us with open arms after this little event, so this is our last chance to chat up the townspeople.



Away! Don't ask.

Old Townsman: Hmmm? Has something happened at Barows Mansion?

Oh, just a little treason and treachery, the usual.


I've never heard anything so ridiculous! I'm sorry, Your Highness, but I simply can't believe it!

You're an NPC. I don't give a fuck what you believe.

Old Townsman: No! You're going to give up on Rainwall?! How could you, after all the support we've given you?! So... You're just like your cold-hearted mother after all, huh?

I'd punch you until your brain starts leaking out of your ears, but I decided staying here in a town ruled by Salum Barows would be a worse fate.



Raftfleet has fish. Fish, man.


You're unbelievable! You've been living off Lord Barows' hospitality all this time! I never imagined you were so selfish, Your Highness! Really. I do think it'd be better if you never showed your face here again...

Shellfish? Yeah, I could do with some of that, too.

...wait, what's wrong with my face?

Townsman: This is bad news! I need to get what I'm owed from Lord Barows before his time runs out...

You could probably get a couple of potch for the sculptures in his study. The metal's gotta be worth something, at least.



Shame on who, exactly?

Townswoman (2): The Godwin faction must be running low on money. That's what made them angry enough to stage a rebellion.

God damn, there's so much clueless gathered in this place I'm surprised it hasn't collapsed in on itself.

Townswoman (2): Hmph! There's nothing uglier in this world than poor people revealing their jealousy and envy!

Oh, I could think of a few, including your face.

And your personality.





I know! It was great.


We'll follow you, Your Highness. Wait for us in Raftfleet.




...Er, hah hah! Never mind!

Not . Anti .

Old Townsman: Wow! So that's the Dawn Rune! I've never seen it before in my life! Honest!

Pray you never see it again. The second level spell does damage.


Without her connections to the Barows family, she's stunningly average in both looks and personality. You can have her!

I think "stunningly average in both looks and personality" is several degrees too good for you, even if you hadn't been an NPC.



Oh, and before I forget, the stuff we picked up in the battle. The lancer armour is decent enough, but Frey is going to stick with his dress because I have standards, damn it.

The Attack and Speed Rings boost their respective stats by 10. It's not a very big bonus, but we don't have a lot of other options right now.


I just don't feel like I belong here in Rainwall anymore.

You're a smart man. You'll go far and probably die without anyone noticing in one of the upcoming army battles.

Townswoman: Your Highness! You won again! That's wonderful! You'll keep on protecting us, won't you, Your Highness? Tee hee hee!

Nope! Fuck Rainwall, and fuck you too! I won't miss either of you.



Naw, I'll be fine. I'd invite you to Raftfleet, but I don't want anyone comparing me to Euram. It's totally a nicer place, though.



A brief scene plays out as we're leaving town.

...And we're in a bit of a mess ourselves!

Our contract with Barows is worthless now. This will cause us much financial hardship, Your Highness.

Wow. If you had helped us in the last battle, I might even have cared!

Why don't we hire you?

...but that's not one of our dialogue options this time, so we're going with this.

Heh! I'd join up with you just to hang out with that cute babe over there some more! But we got things to take care of for now. Well, we're gonna be hangin' around this country for a bit, so maybe we'll run into each other down the road!

Oh, can I practically guarantee that.



...And I'll definitely be seein' YOU down the line, ya bangin' bodyguard! Yowza!



Note to self, never allow Kyle and Wilhelm to come into contact. I think that may cause some kind of perversion singularity.



I've looted everything, checked all the shops and spoken with all the NPCs, so I don't care!



Welcome to our new home. It's an upgrade. (music)

Old Man: Oh, I heard all 'bout it! Come to park yerself in Raftfleet, have ya, Your Highness? I'm feelin' so honored! And it'll give us a chance to repay the debt we owe ya, it will!

Lookin' forward to it, neighbour.



...let's take this one day at a time.

Man: I always said it! Ain't nobody wanted to believe me, though! I always knew Barows was nothin' more than a snake!

Snake? The man's literally Hi... no wait, we already have one of those. He's literally Stalin!

Man: A fittin' end for a man like that, if ya ask me! Serves him right!

No one did, but that doesn't mean you're wrong.

Man: Prince, thanks to ya visitin' us here, Kisara's come back, too! Always good to see her -- know what I mean?

I'm sure I have no idea. Why don't I call Logg over here and let him translate?


He just... got hit in the face with an ugly stick, ya know. Couldn't stand lookin' at him!

I don't know if it was a stick, or even if it was ugly, but I'm definitely happy not to have to look at his face.


...Want her all to yerself, do ya?

LOGG CAN I SEE YOU OVER HERE FOR A MOMENT



There were still a couple more we could talk to, but that's all I can be bothered to transcribe. Bite my shiny metal arse, etc.

I want you to think of this place as your new home from now on. Much less stuffy than Rainwall, isn't it?

Yes, and in more ways than one! Thank you very much, Raja!



Don't tell me you knew about that, too, Lucretia?

Well, I did have my suspicions, yes. But I wanted proof. That's why I had Oboro look into it.

In this case, I can't really fault them for having her figure it out, because it's a somewhat reasonable thing.

So instead, I roll my eyes at the fact that she just happened to know a detective who just happened to be in the area to provide us with evidence.

I was hoping we could reach a more... amicable agreement with Lord Barows, but Euram let the secret slip.

I'm sorry this has all been so hard on you, Luserina.

After what my father and brother did, they had this coming to them in the end. Some might even say they got off easy.
I just wish there were some way I could apologize to His Highness, to Lady Sialeeds...
...and to the people of Lordlake. I don't know what to say to them, but you can't imagine how terrible I feel.

What? Sorry, I couldn't hear your angst over how dead my parents are but you can join my army or something if you wanna be of use.

You can't beat yourself up, though! I mean, I was as close to Lord Barows as anyone, and I never suspected a thing! Enough of the blame game. Let's keep on fightin' so that the future's not filled with MORE guys like him!

Boz.

Absolutely! My resolve is stronger than ever, Lord Wilde!

Ga ha ha ha ha ha! No problem! Can't believe you're related to those two creeps, though...

Well, Your Highness, what should our next course of action be?

Fish. I want fish.



But after that, we should probably do something about Lordlake.

Yes... If anyone's a victim in all this, it's Lordlake! But nobody's ever lifted a finger to help them! No more!

Yes, Prince, we need to help them! It's long, long overdue!

Time to go on a little trip, then.

Admiral, I'll have everybody move Raftfleet closer to Lordlake!



We get a short clip of the Dahak moving down the river while its theme song plays.



Seriously, this is one big-ass boat.



This is just a big ass. (music)

Most of the Barows nobles have either gone independent or joined the Prince's cause. The Barows family is almost completely isolated now.

Glee!

Hmph! Just as I predicted. Lucretia ate them alive.
...And it's just a matter of time before the Prince becomes her next meal.

Indeed. But I can't help but think Lord Barows deserved his fate.

Absolutely. The political game is all about retribution. Karma, if you will. Errors in judgment will always come back to haunt you in the end. Always. We should both keep that in mind.

Indeed.

And if the stories about the Prince and the Dawn Rune are to be believed, we've got a big decision ahead of us.

True. The scholars haven't made any substantial progress yet, though. We may have to rely on a... backup plan for now.

It's not gonna help, you know.



Meanwhile, Raftfleet re-assembles itself in much the same condition as before...



...and Lyon is up to something. Watch the scene!



And the object of her attention is, of course...



...Frey's third and final outfit, the one everyone seems to hate.



I absolutely love Lyon in this scene. You should definitely watch it if you can.



So much enthusiasm! So much terrible taste in clothes!



"I see you let him dress himself this morning, eh, Lyon." (music)



"I mean, looking like you shouldn't be allowed to have anything sharp."

What, only Frey? Why don't I get some fancy new costume? No fair! It's always this way!

Okay but

how do you expect anything to be "fancier" than what you're currently wearing?

No, this is just for the Prince. We have to show them that "Prince" isn't just an honorary title. We need to show he's a real leader.

You mean, make me a glaringly obvious target, right?

And you really think playing dress-up is the best way to show that...?

Yes. The best way. The only way.

It's a start.
...But you're right. A new costume alone won't solve anything.
With that in mind, I think we should also come up with a new name for the Prince's forces. A name for us, in other words. Unless you want the enemy to keep calling us "the rebel army" and "those traitors"?

You mean kind of like Hitler says his name is Gizel, except no one actually calls him that...? That kind of name?

No, I don't!
...So, a new name for us, huh?

How about the "Orange Army"? Or the "Unicorn Army"...?

God. No. Your taste in name is worse than Lyon's taste in fashion.

No, something simple's the best option. How about just "The Prince's Army"? I like the sound of that.

And your taste in names is worse than your taste in fashion.

What do you think, Your Highness?



What do I think?



I think I'm going to need some help on this one.

As you can see, we'll be "The [NAME] Army" so we can't just it the way we did in IV. You have sixteen characters to work with. Make the most of them!


Trivia time: "Orange Army" is an old standby from the second game (though I've read somewhere that the suggestion for "White" in the original game was originally Orange as well, but ^{[citation needed]} and all that).

We're not calling it the Orange Army, though. I want something original here.



Finally, here's some detail artwork on Frey's new duds, and also a gazillion pictures of his smug mug for some reason or another.