Part 82: I don't dislike a good bloodbath.
I goddamn well have!
FUCK ALL YA HATERS
YOU CAN'T HAVE IT
...Are you sure, Your Highness?
Don't make me repeat myself! (music)
I'm against it. If we hole up here, it'll be a war of attrition. The loss of life will be staggering!
I am okay with this! The hell do I care if we depopulate Armes? Fuckers deserve it! This is like the second time this week someone dragged those assholes over the border to fuck all my shit up!
If they take the castle, we can take it back eventually. But if they take our lives...
...they can never take ARE FREEDUM.
Also shut up, I'm in charge here!
Please consider this carefully, Your Highness! If this were a battle between noble warriors, it would indeed be shameful to flee. But the enemy is not noble. Indeed, they are without honor! We cannot lose this war, no matter what! Your Highness was the one who first pointed this out to me!
And that is why I say we should kill them all! Does no one listen to the words that are coming outta my mouth?
Kill, kill, and keep killing! I'll show Childerich what a proper Luca Blight imitation looks like!
Very well. We shall abide by your decision, Your Highness.
What ever happened to all that talk of betraying me if I do the wrong thing, Lucretia? Or are you just as eager to shove your boot up Childerich's behind as I am?
We are still engaging in minor skirmishes with the enemy, but we must focus elsewhere now. We must prepare for the coming siege.
Let them come!
Him, too! I have a knuckle sandwich with his name on it. (music)
Thank you, Your Commandership. But shouldn't we keep our eye on the Armes Southern Mountain Corps?
No seriously, I have G I Z E L tattooed on my knuckles just for the day I can shove them so hard into his face that whoso pulleth me out shall be named rightwise king born of all England.
We need not worry about them. Commander Sparna will do her job if we just leave her be.
With all due respect, Your Commandership, she cares only for herself.
True. But those like Commander Sparna are also the most reliable. It's those like Shula Valya who are the problem.
The Western Marine Corps still hasn't gone into action?
Perhaps he was just too much for Alenia to handle...
You can say that
It may not matter. I have faith the war can be won with our forces and the Southern Mountain Corps alone.
Is that so? I hope your faith is not misplaced.
It totally is, by the way.
Watch the video.
Oh, poor Brother!
Sounds like he's in a real crisis, doesn't it?
Don't act like you had nothing to do with this! It's ALL your fault! If I could've been with him, this war would have been over by now...
Oh! I swear to you, if anything happens to him, you'll pay for it!
I have no idea what she's going on about, as no one will be using any runes against us.
What did you mean?
I don't think it is, myself. In fact, I'd bet that it isn't.
Took them long enough! (music)
I believe they will surround our castle before long. The enemy outnumbers us more than two to one. Our only hope is to ambush them with everything we have.
Your hope sucks! Release the kraken! (well okay fine we don't get a kraken, release the giant snake) Let me at 'em! All shall tremble before me and perish in flames!
...Your Highness, whenever you're ready, please give the order.
The order? The order?!
You have your orders! Leave nothing alive!
Be it man, beast, or plant, if it stands in your way, kill it!
This time you do not get alternative war music.
This is an important battle, so it gets its very own!
Attaaaaaaaaaack! Do not be afraid to maim! ...Or kill! Ga heh heh heh heh!
Your days are numbered, poser!
All the food and loot we could ever want awaits once we take that castle!
And you! You will be feeding the fish in the lake before this day is over!
Classy as ever, Jidan...
...Still, we've come this far! We deserve something in return, so I won't mind joining Jidan this time!
Buying time is fine, but... you won't mind if I beat them, right?
All right, real talk! We have ten minutes in which do do as much damage as possible! The enemy must not reach the castle! This is not going to be a problem!
Oh yeah, we have two beaver units up against the enemy's bunch of ships. No way this is terribly slanted in our favour or anything!
*crunch* *crunch* *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*
Some 15 seconds later...
Oh dearie me, someone got a little too close to Jeane! I'm not sure that's the cleverest attack to use given we have a bunch of beavers swimming around the place, but... I'm sure they'll be fine.
Raja wants in on the fun, too. We can't drag the Dahak all the way up here, but she doesn't need it to put the hurt on scrubs.
Hey Taylor, how's this for a headline...
"Furry Freaks Flatten Fallen Falenan Fuckers"
Oh yeah, you had land troops, too! Let me introduce you to the Lindwurm Mercenary Brigade.
And their catapult-wielding friends.
For a given definition of
Childerich! Let's see how tough you are when you don't have plothax on your side!
Oh, you are actually not very tough at all, what a surprise!
"Help! Help! Mad beaver! Help!"
Oh yeah, and here's a somewhat rare thing: you can fire ranged abilities between naval and ground units. It doesn't come up that often, but it's possible. You can't, however, attack a type of unit with the other type, unless it's a hybrid like... well, beavers. (And even then you probably don't want to because beavers are awful on land.)
These ones aren't on land though, so back to the beaver beatdowns!
He helpfully gets himself stuck on the shore so we don't even have to hunt him down.
I WILL FUCKING END YOU
Fuck gargling fuck fuckers I could have wiped them all out! Why will you not let me wipe them all out?! (music)
Our rations are almost gone! The only thing that kept my men going was the thought of pillaging that castle!
His Majesty Commander Gizel gave strict orders to take the Sindar ruins intact. We must obey.
...Well, mostly! Ga heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...
I see. At least make it look like we didn't touch the place, eh?
Frey is the symbol that unifies the rebel army, which is why...
Ga heh heh heh heh heh heh heh... I can't hide anything from you, Commander Sparna!
I'll take a spectator's seat. I don't dislike a good bloodbath.
But, Commander Sparna, do you really think they'll fall for this?
Ga heh heh heh heh heh heh heh... Who cares?!
I hope you choke on that stupid laugh, you insufferable twit.
This would not have been a problem if you hadn't kept me from killing them all! (music)
What now? I can't see any way out of this one...
This is really a problem with Suikoden V in general. You know that saying about "showing and not telling"? It's so overused it makes me want to slap people, but it applies. We're told the Godwin forces are a threat. But I'm quite certain I could have killed every single enemy soldier in that last battle without taking significant losses.
Their forces have been quite ineffective from the beginning, and that's almost as big an annoyance as their cartoonish .
...It also makes the option to run away seem more "wimpy" than "prudent."
Just a bit longer... We have to buy a little more time.
All in all it makes this situation, a supposed desperate last stand, feel a lot less significant than it should be.
It would have been relatively easy to fix, though. Just give the enemy two or three times as many dudes! Have reinforcements constantly pour in from the left side of the map! Make it look like an unending horde - then I might feel like they were a threat I had to run away from.
Please let me take a look, Lelei.
No... Childerich is challenging the Prince to a one-on-one duel.
A... duel?! He came for a duel?!
Here's what he says:
"If I win, you and your army leave the castle and surrender it to me. If you win, we'll lift the siege and halt all hostilities for an entire day and night."
I have no problem believing Childerich would keep his word.
...Thank you, Admiral Rajackbar, I'm sure we couldn't have figured it out without you.
That it is.
But we're a hot-blooded teenage JRPG protagonist, dammit!