Part 16: .1: Uberness....TO THE MAX!

Uberness....TO THE MAX!


Upon entering Monstro Town, they found the 29th Hidden Treasure.

When they started rummaging around the town for free food (what, you think their diet consists of only mushrooms?) they found some weird lady who was like the elder of the town or something.
Geno: Hey, lady, some rat told us there was a star here. We're gonna have to steal it from you.


Does anyone in this world have any intelligence?
Elder: The star's upstairs. You can have it; it gets pretty freaking annoying anyways.
All:


Ugh. Stupid hag. Not THAT kind of star. That's the kind we beat the hell out of on a daily basis.


What? We have 4 out of 7!
Chester Molester: No, not stars. Hidden Treasures.
I don't think I've found them all. Heck, we haven't even been to  Nimbus Land  yet.
Mallow: What was that?
What?
Mallow: That big black thing that came out instead of words.
Oh, nothing....

Speaking of......hey, lady, how do you get to the clouds? We think there might be a star there.


Yeah, but it's blocked off by a huge freaking stone thing.
Elder: Oh, right...



Troopa: We'll see you there!
Bowser: What the hell? Where'd those guys come from?
Elder: Oh, those are these lunatics who busted out of the crazy house a while back, and are always breaking in here and saying weird crap. I think "Get mustache over the cliff" is an innuendo for gay turtle sex with one another, or something. Anyways, they could maybe help you out. You can find them at that stone thing you were talking about. It's their "clubhouse."

Before they left, they explored this Monstro Town a little more.



What's this crap?
Robopuppy: Meh. Just some crap I found in my attic. Dunno if it'll help, but after you told me how you jumped the crap out of those treasure chest douches, I couldn't help but reward you. I hate those guys.
Nice. I'll try 'em out. See ya later, bud. By the way, I demolished your cousin the other day in Land's End.
Robopuppy: What?!!!!!??! Get back here, ya jerk!

After evading the illustrious robotic dog long enough, they found their way into the town's shop.


Bowser: What the crap kind of genetic monstrosities are these guys?
Doctor Goombenstein: Ah, they're my pretties.........
Geno: .....okay.....
Doctor Goombenstein: Reject me from the Monscience Academy, will they? I'll show them......*grumble*.........*grumble*............Anyways, you want a new weapon and armor, Bowser?
Bowser: Hell yeah. Mario just got some new stuff.





Bowser: Jagger!......who the hell are you?
Jagger: Don't you remember? I was a private in the Koopa Troop!
Bowser: Yeah, I get at least 100 new recruits a day, most of which die within seconds of meeting up with Jumpman over here. Forgive me for not remembering one pitiful soul.
Jagger: Gr......anyways, you want me to show you my mad skillz I learned from my sensei, Jinx?
Why not.


*SLAMBAM!!!!*
Wow......Robopuppy's crap works wonders.
Jagger: owie...
Jinx: What an embarrassment. Go sulk in the corner, you incompetent fool.
Jagger: Yes, sensei.


Eh, I'm bored. Why the hell not?


Jinx: No one's ever accepted a challenge from me before! It actually gets kind of boring...


Peach: Mallow, you might wanna sit this one out.
Mallow: Shut up!


What, is he talking to himself?
Jinx: Your crappy psychic powers........interfering with my chi........my only........weakness......stupid fluffball........
Wow, you've actually been mildly useful recently, Mallow.
Mallow: Useful enough to get a spot on the major team?
Hell no.
Mallow:


....what the crap? This belt won't fit me; I'm like 10 times your size.


Jinx: Oh, right.......here's a bigger one. Perhaps even Bowser can wear it.
Bowser:

Having won a new belt that for some reason was supposed to help their fighting skills, they headed back to chat with Belome again.


Dang it, man. Is it all about food to you?
Belome: Uh, yeah?
Fine. Here's the key. You're such a drag, man, we're leaving.

As it was already pretty late, they stayed in Monstro Town's only inn, only to have some weird frat guys come and jack with them in their sleep.


Boo: Dude...the prize is so awesome!
Greaper: Yeah. It's like, a 12 pack of Keystone.
Boo: Light.

Feeling especially "thirsty," they went off a-searching for those flags (honestly, who really cares about restoring the power of wishes, anyway?).




Boo: ...well that didn't take too long.
Mallow: Yeah, we used the strategy guide.
Dang it, Mallow! Fourth wall!
Dry Bones: Anyway, here's this worthless item and the Keystone.
Greaper: Well, the Keystone's pretty worthless, too, but anyway...


Meh, Attack Scarf >Ghost Medal x 10.

They then headed back to Land's End, where the crazy turtles were waiting to take them up over the.....cliff......at the end of the world......



And got a free pin!


And so, our heroes are headed off to......but FIRST, they had a few errands to run.





Mallow: That's what SHE said!


Hell yeah.


Sonuva...




Geno: Well that wasn't so bad.


Heading back to Tadpole Pond, they ran into Frogfucius.

Frogfucius: Is that Keystone?


Only if you give me 10 frog coins.
Frogfucius: Deal.

They also stopped by the music pond to show off the star dancer's strange but appealing moves.



Still worthless.