Part 3: Stop! Hammer Time

Stop! Hammer Time

When we left our hero, he was just about to enter Mushroom Way.

While he was strolling along to the revamped music of his younger years, popping back mushrooms like they were Vicodin and he was House, he accomplished many things (or at least he thought he did. This whole thing could be a hallucination, for all he knew).

He fought epic battles with


Goombas Hah. You're shorter thana me when I'm not trippin!


Sky Troopas Since whena can turtles flya?


And Spikeys. Notea to self. This is why I wake up witha holes in my feet.

And of course he gained notable experience


Two freaking experience?

And with experience came levels, and a new power




So leta me get this straight. I punched a bunch of retards in the facea, and that allowed me to spit out fire?

He even ran into his midget friend who seemed to be kidnapped more than the princess.


Mario: So, that'll be onea Flower Tab
Toad: What? What happened to doing things out of the goodness of your heart?
Mario: Whata happened to staying away froma punks you can't take in a fight? Cough it up, or you'll end up lookinga like the guy who kidnapped you.

Toad: Okay okay! Geez, between you and the Koopas, I'm giving out more protection money than I'm getting.
Mario: That'sa your problem. Now, let'sa see about this Flower Tab.



Well, a flower taba saved is a flower taba earned.

He also found many treasures along the way, but they were mostly worthless




Overall though, he felt he accomplished enough to finally leave this hellhole.


Freaking Toada! How many times do I have to tell hima to stay away from M and C Hammer?
Mario: Look, can you justa let him go? He'sa damaged in the head.
M: Hell naw. This punk came up on my turf and didn't pay the requisite Flower Tab.
Toad: I gave my last one to Mario!
Mario: Shuddap! Anyways, don't make me beata your ass like last time.
C: Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!


Mario: I'ma warning you, I'm level 3!


Three timesa the fun!

C: M, noooooooooooo!

C: STOP!
Mario: ...
C: Valor time! ptstptstptstptstptstptstptstptst
Mario: .......whatever man.


Say hello to my triple friendsa! By the way, you can'ta touch this!


6 EXPERIENCE???? Are you freakinga kidding me? That'sa like 3 Sky Troopas!

Seeing as how that was over, Toad thanked him, and found a leftover hammer for Mario.



I am all that is man!

Leaving Mushroom Way, he came to Mushroom Kingdom.



Ahh, the sweeta smell of mushroom-heads. I wonder if the guards are stilla looking for me since I ate one of their friends. I can'ta help it, I was famished! Now, to look around a bita.



Well thata wasn't too bad. I wonder ifa there's more invisible chests anywhere?


I figure you stilla owe me one from the Hammer Bros incident, so I'll leta you carry me to the Chancellor.


Going upa! Whew, it's a gooda thing I found this now. I don't think Toad will leta me have a free ride again.


And if she wouldn't havea gotten kidnapped, that's not all of hers that would havea been in my handsa.

Before I leavea, I'll check around the castle for some of the princess's pantiesa.



So, I stole her panties, and got a mushroom as a rewarda? I likea the way this worksa.


Croco: Nya! You'll never catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!
Mallow: No you're not, you're....oof!


Stupida rain. I wonder why that marshmallow is cryinga?

Mario: Sup.
Mallow: This stupid dinosaur thing took my coin.
Mario: Damna Yoshi. He always doesa this crap.
Mallow: No, it wasn't him. It was this different dude. Us tadpoles always get picked on.
Tadpole? Oh, well, I guessa I'll go get it back for you then. He's a bandit, so he's probably headeda to Bandit's Way.
Mallow: Ooh, can I come?
Well, he doesa look magically delicious. Sure, kid. Hopa in.



Well, I guessa we'll head off.


Hmmm......perhaps thisa not-Yoshi has taken it.


And there he goesa, right to Bandit's Way. Predictable.



Aaaaand they're off. Join us next time for Mario: Supastar!