Part 15: Update Fifteen: Chrysler BuildingLast time on Super Mario RPG, we climbed about half of Booster's Tower. And that's about it. So, let's get this show on the road.
In the room right after the save point, we encounter this. Remember when I told you to memorize that wall of portraits? It comes in handy here.
We start with Golf-Booster.
Then Ballcap Booster. If you choose the wrong portrait, it doesn't lock you out of being able to complete this; you just have to fight a battle.
Pirate Booster is next. Yaargh.
Then Road-Warrior Booster.
Then Robe and Wizard Hat Booster. (I guess? Hell, I don't have a good joke for this one.)
Then this Booster.
Oh, hey current-Booster. 'sup?
...He barfed out a key? Eh, whatever.
It's actually the Elder Key, used to unlock that door. And what is our prize for that easy puzzle?
Bowser gets his first weapon, and it is fucking awesome.
I like this Chain Chomp. Booster's kinda gross.
So, we got a Chomp. Bowser's Attack goes up by 10. Sweet.
Moving on, we come to this room. Did the current Booster build this tower? Or was it one of his ancestors? I'm genuinely curious now.
Oooh, a Thwomp on one of the teeter-totters. This is definitely better than another staircase.
And a Mushroom! It's like Christmas.
I'm actually kind of surprised there's enough weight there to boost the Thwomp that high.
And away we go!
Spookums parachute down around this room. It's actually pretty cool.
Bowser has the best attack animations.
That looks like another room back there, but it isn't. Booster's Tower is deceptive.
And full of great treasure.
This next room has Coins and Frog Coins scattered about. I get to work collecting them. I have over 30 Frog Coins, at the time of this writing.
Step on a square you're not supposed so, and there's an explosion.
Fireballs are complete friggin' jokes. Sure, they have 42 Speed, being far faster than any of your party members, with some decently strong magic, but they only have 10 HP. A kindergartener could one-shot these guys.
But, this is why I love them. They have a 50% chance to drop a Lucky Flower, and they don't give Coins, so it's always going to be a chance to double experience points. 12 experience for the minimum amount of effort is sexy.
This, I feel, leads to the real treasure here. I snag those last few Coins over there, and head into the locked room.
These are the Zoom Shoes.
I put them on Bowser. If you ask why, I will find you, and I will slap you.
Y'know, the way he says that, I'm wondering something. Does he just randomly ride his train into the room, saying that it's his personal railroad? Or is he talking to himself? Either one is likely, considering who it is.
Why, thank you. Have you been peeking at my levels?
I'm going to light you on fire, beat your skull in, and drop a gigantic snowman on you when I kill you. Got it memorized?
Oh, that took a different direction than I expected. Also, whoever pointed out that Booster is a neckbeard, I present you to you Exhibit "A".
I believe this is Exhibit "B".
I didn't find any secrets back here, but I'm sure my faithful readers will point out exactly where I fucked up here. Also, you can't fight those Rob-Ombs until they land.
Leaving brings up this scene.
Y'know, now I'm pretty sure he was just talking to himself earlier.
I'd feel bad for him, but considering he might be the king of E/N threads, I don't know if that's the right thing to do.
BY THE BEARD OF ODIN!
Not all Chomps are as badass as the one hanging with us, unfortunately. These ones are slower than shit, with only 100 HP. Their Defense isn't too bad, but they're weak to Thunder. All in all, I think we found the cream of the crop when Bowser got his weapon.
Hopping up those stairs brings us to another save room. I would stop here, but we're almost done and then this update would be shorter than I like.
Completing that jumping puzzle nets us a Frog Coin.
This is the last room of the tower. Bowser is close to a level, so I go snag that real quick.
Bowser hits level 11, and I prove that I'm a fucking idiot by giving him +3 to Magic Attack.
Back here, let's check out that exit. It leads to where Toadstool is, after all.
She gets a little too into her YMCA practice sessions.
Well, who did you expect? Fucking Brian Boitano?
No, I'm increasing the dramatic tension, Princess.
Jesus Christ, you're telling me that Booster's magic?
But where to hide? I don't see any good spots around here.
Or we'll treat this like an episode of Scooby Doo.
I suppose Booster is about as competent as your average Scooby villain.
Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibit "C".
Booster is awful demanding.
That's why I like weddings. That, and I like drinking.
Wait, no, no, I correct myself. This is exhibit "D".
Snifit 3 is my favorite.
I give you exhibit "E". Do I really need any more evidence?
I'll give him credit. Booster certainly wants to do things right.
I'm concerned as to why he has a Toadstool doll.
These guys are masters of pretend. I'm kind of impressed.
I'll give Booster this; the man knows what's up. He's really going all out to rehearse for exactly how this event is going to go down.
'bout as sharp as a brick, these four are. Watching them do anything has to be like watching a monkey try to fuck a football.
Now, number one doesn't do the intelligent thing here and just run down the line, opening all the curtains as wide as they'll go. No, he just cracks them open, one at a time, then closes 'em back up. The objective here is to avoid the Snifit as he searches for you. But what happens if they find you?
Their weapons-grade stupidity kicks in.
Also, Booster calling anything else creepy is bullshit. He barfed a key at me earlier.
Anyways, after doing another round of "Dodge the Snifit" Snift #1 gives up.
Booster is persistent, though. So now, we gotta dodge two Snifits.
It's just as easy as dodging one. And about as interesting to look at in screenshots.
So, I'll cut the tedium out for you guys.
He sends the third Snifit to look for it, too. You'd think this is some ploy by Booster to reveal us because he knows we're there.
It's not. Booster really is that big of an idiot.
I think we've been caught. Well, we had a good run.
Oh, however will they solve this dilemma?
I think we all know how this goes down. Mario is certainly a very nice guy.
Oh, God, Booster, you don't have to. Really.
Oh, I was expecting some rare animu figurine. Thanks, I guess?
I don't quite get you, Booster.
Alright, I better remember this. Let me get a notepad.
...Or not. (And yes, this is the payoff of being able to name your save file.)
While the room is clear, take a look in Booster's box of dolls. Tell me, do you see anything that may be out of place?
Oh, and the Amulet? Lowers Speed by 5, but raises everything else by 7. I give it to Mallow.
Where the hell did Booster and the Princess go? And why did he leave these guys for us?
So, we have the Knife Guy and the Grate Guy. Knife Guy is weak to Fire and Grate Guy is weak to Thunder.
I wish I had Geno Boost here, just to see how much damage I could do here with Super Flame.
He has 700 max HP, by the way.
Grate Guy has more HP, 900, but is weak to Thunder, like I said.
Keep in mind, I fucked up the Timed Hit here. That should be over 300 damage, but I'm not good at it with the Shocker.
Knife Guy only lasts another round.
Grate Guy doesn't have much left to go, either, with all three of my characters beating on him.
All in all, this fight can actually be fairly difficult. I'm pretty far overlevelled (Mario has Ultra Jump, for reference), and these two can dish out some damage if your defenses aren't as good as mine. The only attacks they did here were Knife Guy hitting Mario for 7, and Grate Guy silenced Bowser. They have other attacks, but never got to them.
And away we go!
I like the reward for this fight, though. 30 experience ain't too shabby, and Flower Jars are very nice.
Now, I don't like ending my updates in video form, but this sequence is much better shown this way. In screenshots, it'd be kind of boring for you guys. Keep in mind, I don't usually do this bad, but I guess the pressure of the camera being on me made me nervous. I'm camera shy, I guess.
This is where we end, today. In a town dedicated to getting folks married. Next time, we'll rescue Toadstool and fight a most interesting boss.