Part 23: Update Twenty Three: Spear vs. HammerLast time on Super Mario RPG, we finished off the Sunken Ship and recovered the fifth Star Piece from Johnny Jones. Now we're making our way back to Seaside Town. So, let's get this show on the road.
Seaside Town is just a hop, skip and a jump away.
The entire town greets us at the entrance. They're still robotic and creepy.
I honestly wonder, does anyone doubt Mario's ability to do these things? Or are the people of Mario's world just a bunch of assholes?
It's honestly like when a manager of a store introduces himself and he expects you to believe he's hot shit. Fuck you, guy, you work at Circuit City! Nobody cares who you are!
Maybe if I had visited a psych ward or the rape zone of a prison.
I'd reference the evil overlord list here, but [url]http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html]I feel that joke has been done to death.[/url]
Jesus, Yaridovich might have been that Circuit City manager.
Get serious, Yarid.
Without a word, this henchman runs off.
He enters this house and the door remains wide open.
...Well, now, this has gotten serious.
Never mind. I expected some Umbrella-level of torture to be going down in there.
Yeah, take it. I know tickling can sometimes be uncomfortable, and I'd hate for them to suffer.
You guys kidnapped an entire town, replaced all of the townspeople, and you had one of your guys go torture the big cheese around here. How is that not soiling your hands?
No wonder I'm so important!
I hate this guy.
What, is your mom picking you up in her villainous minivan or something?
They run off to the left and we give chase. I beat up a pirate shark for that Star Piece, and I'll be damned if I'm giving it up that easily!
They left through here. We haven't gone beyond here before, but that's because there was nothing here before.
The Daywalker is part of your villainous crew?
You went like, a hundred yards. Are you honestly surprised?
As they approach the water, two new friends show up.
Along with their badass boss.
Aww, c'mon! Who has a code of honor!?
These sharks know what's up. They're cool in my book.
Please tell me they all just stand on top of each other, screaming, "MECHA-SHIVA MECHA-SHIVA!"
Holy crap, they turned into a gigantic, bipedal spear. That's kind of cool.
My team for this is Mario, Mallow and Geno; Yaridovich here is weak to Thunder, and Mallow's got a bitchin' Magic Attack stat to utilize that weakness with. With a Geno Boost on his side, he'll be dishing out the big damage.
Mario's hits aren't too bad here, but Yaridovich has 1500 HP. His Attack is monstrous, at 125, and his Magic Attack sits pretty at 70. His other two defenses are nothing special, but he can definitely outlast us if we try to make this a slugfest. His Speed is nothing special at 20, so with the Work Pants, anyone can still outspeed him. But, man, Yaridovich is an asshole.
This is a big reason why. Even at my high levels, this attack is dealing an assload of damage. At lower levels, Bowser might be wiped out by this in one shot. I think mine could survive, but simply because he's got enough HP to last.
Water Blast fucking hurts. Mallow has the benefit of high Magic Defense and a Geno Boost on his side, so it's not too terrible to him. Yaridovich might be the hardest boss in the game.
But remember that terrible Thunder weakness he has? Shocker is just perfect for this occasion and even regularly leveling, you should have it by now.
Now keep in mind, there's a good chance I fucked up the timed hit on this. Recording in SNES9x kills the audio, so I can't hear the aural cue that confirms if you hit it or not.
Bringing Geno to any boss fight is a good idea. Usually, his first three turns will be Geno Boosting everybody, to maximize ass-whooping potential.
Yeah, I like Geno Boost quite a bit.
Yaridovich has a few different magic attacks, but Water Blast is the most dangerous, as it hits all party members. He can also use Willy Wisp, but he never did it in this fight.
You may be worried for Geno, since he's so fragile and all.
The Safety Ring nullifies all elements. Water Blast, despite it's name, is apparently non-elemental. Either way, I gave it to Geno for an extra layer of protection.
Another Shocker to ruin Yaridovich's day.
By the time Geno is all done Boosting here, the fight's almost over. Even so, I'd rather make sure that someone doesn't get their ass whipped just because I didn't think it was worth it.
I'm not too worried about what this will do to Mallow. He'll survive, no matter what.
Or, hell, he'll just take a shit all over Yaridovich's attack.
At this point, I decided I was going to beat him to death the old fashioned way.
With the fight over, I'd like to mention the one ability Yaridovich didn't have time to show off; it's called Mirage, and he splits into two versions of himself. The other Yaridovich's stats are slightly lower than the real deal's stats, and he only has 500 HP. However, two Water Blasts going at the same time can wreck your shit quite easily. The copy also has access to Meteor Blast, Static E, and Bolt, just to add an extra edge of assholery to this fight.
However, there's a simple way to distinguish the real deal from the fake; it's not a visual clue or auditory one. When you ready an attack, you automatically target the real Yaridovich. Pound on the real one for a bit and he'll come back to one eventually.
Yaridovich also has a couple of different physical attacks, all which hit like he never forgets his Wheaties in the morning. Pierce, for example, hit Mario for 76 damage without a Geno Boost. Yaridovich is a massive asshole and can be a brick wall for first time players and even some veterans.
But, with all of this in mind, watch the bonus video to see me make a fool out of Yaridovich. And, for one last thing on him, yari is the Japanese word for spear .
His rewards are nice, but the Johnny battle gave more experience. Even so, Yaridovich still gives a reward conducive to his level of difficulty; I think Johnny and crew give enough experience so that your guys can hopefully gain a level before you come up to this dick of a battle.
Bowser hits level 18 after that fight, too, which is a nice reward. He learns "Bowser Crush", his final skill, and gets +2 to his Attack stat.
Star back in hand, we're done here. Johnny and company have gone back to the briny deep.
What horrible surprises might he have in store for Mario?
Nothing as bad as Yaridovich, I assure you.
Over here, we find the Shed Key. There's a note pinned to that tree, too.
Knowin' you, it must've been a breeze knockin' down Yarid, eh? By the way, my pirates say they saw a huge AX flyin' across the sky. It's probably one of Smithy's nasty friends. Go GET him, pal! Well, my gills are failing on me, so I'll be headin' back down. Drop in whenever you have time, okay?
Your true mate,
Jonathan "Johnny" Jones
Johnny is a pretty cool guy. I'll have to go back and visit him.
Anyways, we have a village to rescue from the shed.
Man, this is a bigass shed. My shed out back has trouble fitting the lawnmower inside. I think this one is the size of my living room and then some.
One by one, the townsfolk approach and thank us.
Are you folks aware you have a hippy living amongst your ranks?
I like how polite the mole people are.
These two run the weapon and armor shop. I'll be visiting one of them. Guess which one.
I've got to get back to work now, but stop by the inn! See ya there!
Eh, it wasn't much trouble. Besides, I needed to get my Star Piece back.
Jeez, you'd think they were water-boarding this guy or something.
He gives us a Flower Jar. If we had immediately given up the star, it would have been a Flower Box; the longer he gets tortured, the worse the reward is. Let it go long enough and he'll eventually just give you a single Coin.
I skip that first shop for now, but I'll be back for it. You'll see why.
Here's the weapon and armor shop; weapons on the left, armor on the right.
Everybody but Bowser gets a new weapon. For whatever reason, this kid sells all weapons in the game up to this point; the armor shop does the same, but it doesn't have any upgrades.
At the other row of shops, this is the first. For all intents and purposes, it's just a normal item shop.
For some reason, I just imagine his Fat Albert impersonation is spot-on.
I'm sure you know all about that, buddy.
Huh, we now have the option to act as Mushroom Boy's dealer. I'm strangely okay with this.
You have any mushrooms?
None that I'm willing to give you.
Finally, the last shop we can visit.
I guess the overalls just aren't cutting it anymore.
Really, there's nothing here I'm interested in. If I hadn't snagged that free pair of Zoom Shoes from Booster's Tower, I might pick up a pair for Bowser. Everyone else is quick enough it's not a major concern.
The innkeeper here still charges you 15 Coins to stay the night. I thought there was supposed to be an Easter Egg here, but it wasn't. Maybe I'll just have to come back later.
From here, we have no idea where to go next. The Elder might know, as they usually seem to get access to this sort of information somehow.
Well, ain't that a right coinki-dink.
This town is a bit more special than that. You'll all see why when I get there.
Well, folks, we know where we're going now!
But, we'll save that for next time. We're running long here, anyways. So, next time on Super Mario RPG, we'll explore the Land's End and maybe even find a town of Monsters! Stay tuned!
The solo Yaridovich fight. It's quite the slobberknocker.