The Let's Play Archive

The Bard's Tale

by Stabbey_the_Clown

Part 21: Chapter 6 - 01a

The game doesn't have formal Acts, but this is where I consider where Act II would be starting, if it existed.

This is just a mini-update, I should have the other part uploaded today, after teh voting.

Act II

Chapter 6-01a

Welcome to the Mountains

: And so the Bard journeyed into the treacherous mountains, not knowing what horrors would await him among the craggy peaks...

: Could you be any more melodramatic? It's bloody cold enough here without you making it worse.

The Bard saw something odd in the cliff face ahead, so he moved forward to investigate.

It looked like there was a massive door set into the cliff face. But unfortunately, it was blocked by a massive sheet of ice. The Bard gave it an experimental tap with his sword. He didn't even cause a dent in the thick ice.

The Tombs Are Closed

: This must be the entrance to these tombs that dear deceased Bodb mentioned. Hmm... Talk about a chilly reception. I won't be getting through there any time soon.

Despite the apparent dead-ending of the quest, and the lack of winter clothing, the Bard pressed on, hoping to find another way in. Perhaps the fire in his loins when he thought of the princess was keeping the chill away. But even that could only work for so long.

It's Too Damn Cold

: A winter storm raged in the mountains stopping dead the progress of the Bard, who had no way to protect himself from the bitter cold.
Bodyguard: What's the hold up sir?
: I don't know if you noticed, but it's a bit chilly at the pass.

Bodyguard: Really? Did you know that cold is just a state of mind?
: Tell that to my arse.
Bodyguard: In fact, my cousin once said that most body heat escapes through his head. So, if your feet are cold, put on a hat.
: That's really... helpful. Why don't you stand in the back and not say anything, ok?
Bodyguard: Will do!

The Bard shivered to himself.

"C-c-cold is j-just a state of mind," the Bard recited to himself, before once again trying the pass.

: Our esteemed hero was a trifle slow in realizing that he could make no progress in the face of the frigid storm.

The Bard did some exercises to get himself limber and the blood flowing, once again he stepped into the howling winds.

: Oh for heavens sake, you can't go in that direction until you have some way to stay warm, you dolt!

The Bard's shoulders slumped in defeat, but as he headed out of the pass he caught a glimpse of something.

It looked almost like - Then a gust of wind threw snow into his eyes. When he blinked them clean, there was a man there with a small camp.

The Bard thought for a second. It didn't look exactly like what he first saw, but perhaps that was just hallucinations brought on by cold.

The Bard approached the man. Strangely enough he didn't seem to be feeling the slightest effects of cold.

Meet Gower

Gower:Welcome to my humble camp good sir. Could I interest you in a sword? This particular sword was once used by the great hero Peredur to-

: Stop, stop, hold on. You don't appear to be freezing your arse off in this cold. What's your secret?
Gower: Ah, you are an observant man I see. This brew allows me and me arse to ignore the effects of any cold.

Vote: Should we be Pure Nice, Pure Snarky, Snarky then Nice or Nice then Snarky?

All Movies

Welcome to the Mountains

The tombs are closed

It's Too Damn Cold

Meet Gower