The Let's Play Archive

The Bard's Tale

by Stabbey_the_Clown

Part 35: Chapter 8-02b

Chapter 8-02b

Donnan - Pure Nice

Donnan - Pure Snarky

Donnan - Snarky then Nice

Donnan Nice then Snarky

: The Fox Brothers sent me. I think you know why.
Donnan: You've got the five hundred they owe me?
: They owe you? What kind of nonsense is this?

Donnan: I'm afraid it's true. Wait a moment. They didn't promise you something, did they? A cut, maybe, or something else worth your while? Look here: if I were you, I'd head back and take it up with them. All right?

Angry at being tricked, the Bard stomped out into the rain. Across the way, he saw the Sheriff's office. The Bard decided to check it out.

Sheriff Bryce had a kind face, but it was lined with weariness and fatigue.

Sheriff Bryce

Sheriff Bryce: Got a crime to report, fill out the parchment. In triplicate. If it's a missing person, forget it. People come to Dounby to get lost, not to be found. In fact, I can't really help you with much of anything. Those druids are the real law around here.
: I've nothing to report: I'm just passing through town.

Sheriff Bryce: Aye, good luck on that. A lot of folks trying to pass through and not many succeeding... the morgue's been stacked three deep since the Druids took over. ... say, you want to see something funny?

Without waiting for a reply, the Sheriff strode down the hallway. The Bard shrugged his shoulders and followed.

: Why not? I could use a laugh right about now.

The Bard followed the Sheriff to the jail room. It was a large cage filled with at least a dozen young lads.

Sheriff Bryce: Hey! Which one of you sorry low-lifes is the chosen one?

Chosen One #1: I am! I'm the Chosen One!

Chosen One #2: No! I'm the Chosen One! I must fulfill my destiny!

Chosen One #3: No he's not! I'm the Chosen One! I will save the world!

The Sheriff laughed heartily.

Sheriff Bryce: That cracks me up every time. They come to town, talkin' crazy, takin' on monsters twice their size. Got so bad I had to lock 'em up for their own safety. Say, you aren't one of these chosen ones, are you?
: Heh! Oh, no! Not me. I'm all about wine, women and song. Pretty much in that order. Wait, make that women, wine and song.
Sheriff Bryce: Well look here, boyo. You just stay clear o' trouble. ... Not that it's an easy thing to do in this town these days.

The Sheriff wandered back out front. As the Bard glanced at the cage full of Chosen ones again, something caught his eye.

It's Bad Luck to be You - Jail

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
A chosen one of many isn't new
When you think you're full of luck
in the bullock's you'll get struck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.

One would think that fame and glory could be bought.
When it comes to Chosen One's there are a lot.
There seems to be too many
I don't really think there's any.
A useless pile of bunk is what you've got.

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
The prophecy is never coming true
In a pickle you'll be stuck
Like a chicken you'll cluck
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.

These silly boy's aren't doing very well
The Sheriff had to put them in a cell
This isn't a reflection
That you're not in his collection
You're better off just going straight to hell.

Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Don't think for just a second it's not true
When your life has run amuck
You'll see that you're the schmuck.
Oh, it's bad luck to be
Really bad luck to be
Nobody could disagree.
It's a freaking guarantee.
Oh, it's bad luck to be you.
Diddly doo.

The Bard scowled.

"I thought I'd seen the last of you!"

"What's that?" The Sheriff called?

The Bard opened his mouth to reply, but saw that the Trow had now vanished from the cell. "Never mind." He said.

The Bard returned to Chateau Reynard.

Fox Brothers 02 - Snarky

Fox Brothers 02 - Nice

: Look here, you malodorous miscreants! Donnan don't owe you a thing!
Jacques: Zen he ees a liar!
Jean: I tell you what. You want the song? We have a silver frog that was taken from us by Caitir and hidden under her bed! Bring that to us and we will give you your song.
Jacques: Oui, oui! Ze frog! Get us ze frog!

: Get it yourself: I'm not going on another wild goose chase for the two of you.
Jean: Who said anything about a goose you silly man! We are talking about a frog.
Jacques: Quite right! A frog. Small and shiny. And so loveable and cute you know. Oh Jean! I want it. You promised me you would get it for me and I want it!
: I won't fall for your tricks again boys. There isn't even a song, is there.
Jean: Ah, but you are mistaken!

From some hidden pocket, Jean produced a sheet of music. The Bard couldn't get a good look at it before Jean hid the tune away once again.

Jean: Well? Are you going to get ze frog, or aren't you?
: All right. But this is it. No more funny business.

Jean: Oui! Of course! No more business that is funny. We will await your return!

Experience: 2200

Jean handed the Bard a scrap of paper on which he had scrawled Caitir's address.

Caitir - Nice

Caitir - Snarky

Caitir: So you're interested in my antiques are you?

: I'm just here to get back the silver frog.
Caitir: I should've known. They tried to buy it from me and I wouldn't sell it; not for 50 silver pieces, not for a thousand! So now they send you for it.

: Bloody hell! That's twice they've fooled me!
Caitir: Give 'em a swift kick in the gonads for me when you see 'em.

Fox Brothers - Enough is Enough

: Look here, you bleedin' idiots. Hand over the tune or I'll puree the both of you!
Jean: Ha! We will be giving you nothing!
Jacques: Oui! Ha! Now go away and stop ze wasting of our time!

: Fine. I'll waste you instead!
Jacques: En garde!
: Time to die!

Before the Bard could even take a step, he fight was over.

Jean: Okay, Okay, we surrender already... we can not take this fight any longer...
Jacques: Take it! Take it and go away! Oh, Jean, I sink I am going to faint!
Jean: Frere Jacques, frere Jacques...

Experience: 2750

New Tune: Knocker

Vote: Do we have our new summon kill the Fox Brothers, or shall we let them live?

All Movies:

Donnan - Pure Nice

Donnan - Pure Snarky

Donnan - Snarky then Nice

Donnan Nice then Snarky

Sheriff Bryce

Bad Luck - Jail

Fox Brothers 02 - Snarky

Fox Brothers 02 - Nice

Caitir - Nice

Caitir - Snarky

Fox Brothers - Enough is Enough