The Let's Play Archive

The Bard's Tale

by Stabbey_the_Clown

Part 38: Chapter 9 - 01

Holy crap! Three days in a row with an update!

No, there is no way to enter Fistown without getting shot at, you ony unlock it by talking to the villagers in Kirkwall

Chapter 9 - 01

The Bard headed down the road away from Finstown, picking arrow shards out of his wounded... pride.

Suddenly, he glanced ahead, and dove into the undergrowth. There was another large party of Druids coming down the road. The Bard looked for a way out, but he was in a wooded canyon with steep walls. If he tried to climb out, he was sure to be spotted.

The Bard was caught between flaming arrows and sharp sickles.

"At least I can dodge the arrows," the Bard said to himself. He ran back.

: And bravely did our Bard return to familiar Finstown.
Villager 2: Come back for more, 'ave yer?
: Yes, but this time, I've brought friends! They'll be here any moment!

The villager laughed, but stopped when he heard marching feet.

Villager: Get ready for an attack!

The Bard didn't wait. He ran as fast as he could, right through the gauntlet of arrows being fired at him.

The villagers fired arrows at him, but he ignored them, concentrating on running. The Bodyguard made himself useful, shouting out for the villagers to shoot at him instead. They happily obliged.

Meanwhile, the Druids arrived. One off the villagers nervously met them.
Villager: Uh... hello.
Druid: Greetings. We're looking for a... friend of ours who's gotten lost, he is known as the Bard.
Druid: That's right. Why are you shouting?
Villager 2: Fire!

The Bard grinned as he ran, hearing the screams and sounds of battle behind him.

Finally, the Bard reached the gates of Finstown. To his surprise, they were not guarded by the locals, but by big, burly Vikings.

Finstown Gates

: Oh no.

Viking: If it isn't the Bard. I'm sure our leader Silkbeard will want to talk to you, he's in that large building across town, the one with most of its windows still intact.

The Bard didn't want to enter a war zone, so instead he strolled through teh gates into Finstown, and was astonished at the devastation.

: Finstown looked like a war zone, even worse then Kirkwall after the Bard set the Nuckelavee loose.
: That wasn't my fault. If it was so bloody dangerous to spill blood in the circle, you'd think someone could have put up a warning sign or something.

The Bard took another look around the ravaged village.

"You know what?" the Bard asked rhetorically, "I think I need a drink.

The Bard headed for the Trowie's Pub, the local tavern. Being that he was the Bard, he naturally summoned his rat before he went in.

Trowie's Pub

Once again, the scam paid off.

Burly Viking: Eeeek it's a rat! Oh somebody kill it! Kill it!

The Bard unsummoned the creature.

: All right, all right, steady on, the big scary rat is gone now.
Burly Viking: Errr... thanks Bard I um.. not sure what happened there I... hey, take this and don't tell anyone hat you saw, OK?

Reward: 1000 Silver
New Token: Mantle of Ossian.
Experience: 1100

: The Legendary Bard Ossian once wore this fine mantle. A great man, respected and loved by the common folk as well as the nobles of his time, the name of Ossian inspires others to this day. One could only hope that some of his greatness would also rub off on our own Bard, of course one could also hope for sheep to fly.

: Not bad, my lips are sealed.

: Surprisingly, the Bard found himself in the local tavern. There's a first time for everything, I suppose. Trowie's Pub was once a quaint local hangout, but it, much like the rest of the town had been overrun by Vikings.

The Bard strolled and talked to Gregor, the local tending the bar.

Gregor: It's a right pair of brass bollocks you've got, showin' your face around here.
: Hold on, hold on, why the hostility? I've never even been to this town before... at least not that I can remember. In any case I've certainly done nothing to harm you.
Gregor: As if you didn't know.
: I don't.

Gregor: Right. And next you'll be tellin' me it wasn't you that set the Orkney Dragon free.
: Dragon? What dragon?
Gregor: D'you take me for a fool!? You think we dinnae know that you set the beast free to raze our city and let the Vikings come stormin' in afterwards.

: Oh, is that this town? I do remember cracking open a big locked gate, but no one mentioned anything about a dragon.
Gregor: That's right. Play dumb. You'll get what's comin' to you.

: Well, if that means riches and women, I'm all for it, but it doesn't look like this town has either to offer now.
Gregor: Nobody to blame but yourself for that one. At least many of the villagers escaped and have been laying siege to the town, perhaps they'll make it in and rescue is eventually.
: I'm sure they will... I think I'd better be going now.
Gregor: Yeah, go and don't come back.

: Oh yeah, uh, before I go, I'd like to buy a drink.

Gregor scowled. What'll ye have?

Trowie's Pub menu

: I'll take a Findley's Brew, thank you.

Gregor poured the drink grumpily, then spat in it and handed it to the Bard.

Gregor: Here ye go, I hope ye choke on it.

The Bard turned away from the bar.

He said to himself, "It's not so much the spitting in the drink that bothers me, it's that he didn't even have the respect to do it behind my back."

He then bumped into a grumpy Viking.

Grumpy Viking: I dunno what you've done, but the villagers don't seem to like you much. Come to think of it, neither do I.

The Bard clapped the Viking on the shoulder in a friendly manner and handed him the beer.

: That's alright, here have a drink, on me!

Silkbeard's Headquarters

The Bard arrived at the heaquarters of the Viking leader Silkbeard. Being unsure of what type of reception awaited him within, our hero steeled himself for a confrontation.

Inside, there was a large gathering of Vikings lined up beside a man sitting in a throne, who could only be Silkbeard. But the Bard first went to see what appeared to be a weapons merchant, just in case.

Finstown Store

Silver Dirk
Damage: 5-25

I can't actually use the Dirk yet, but I will be able to in two levels, and who knows where I'll be at that time.

With no further excuses to procrastinate, the Bard reluctantly approached Silkbeard.

Meet Silkbeard

Silkbeard: Look who it is!
: *sigh* Oh, hell. *sigh* Time to start killing.
Silkbeard: Gather round, you drunken sots! The Bard's come at last! A flagon of ale and a launch of meat! Hell, give him anything he wants! It's the least we can do after what you've done for us!
: And, uh... just what was that?
Silkbeard: Ha ha ha! What was that, he says! That was the Orkney Dragon you loosed on this damn town! Months we'd been at it, hammering at the gates and slaughtering the townsfolk when we could get at 'em.

Silkbeard: Then along comes your dragon, smashes the gates in one pass and puts half the city to the torch! It... it was... beautiful.

Tears of joy came to Silkbeard's eyes, and he had to take a minute to regain his composure.
Viking: Hurrah! Three cheers for the Bard!
: No wonder the locals hate me.
Silkbeard: Hate you!? Hate you!? They don't hate you, man! They love you!
: They love me? What are you on about?

Silkbeard: Wait. No. Not love. Loathe! They loathe you! Despise you! They'll curse your name with every breath for a thousand years! Ahh... What I wouldn't give for fame like that!
: You can have it.
Silkbeard: That's no way for a death-dealing devil like you to talk! And as long as you're here, go where you will, slaughter the local folk, and take what you want!

Silkbeard: It's the least we can do for such a horrible, murdering bastard such as yourself!

Silkbeard and his crew broke out into song.

SONG: Here's to the Bard

Come gather 'round all ye Bastards!
And raise up your cup to this arse-turd.
He came and freed the fires of hell,
and let 'im run loose over hill and dell.

Here's to the Bard, and his scab of a brain,
Here's to the Dragon and all it has slain.
The gate is knocked in and the town is aflame.
And it's ours for the taking, and you get the fame.

We tortured some townsfolk, it's true.
And Pounded, but Couldn't breakthrough.
With all of his might, the Dragon took flight
And Burned the town down to a ball-bag of shite.

Here's to the Bard and his knob of a head.
Here's to the Orkney, the smoke, and the dead.
The gate is knocked in and the town is aflame.
And it's ours for the taking, and you get the fame.

Here's to the Bard and a pullin' me plum.
Here's to the Beast and the rest of you scum.
The gate is knocked in and the town is aflame.
And it's ours for the taking, though you get the fame.

Experience: 1320

After the song was over, the Bard spotted some chests, no doubt filled with treasure looted from the town. He casually sauntered over, looking innocent.

Don't Touch My Plunder

Silkbeard: Here now Bard, I owe you a lot, but messin' with a man's treasure, that's not proper.
: Oh, just admiring your property, I've no mind to be making off with any of it.. well... Not for right now. So... no treasure for me? No cut? Not even a small finder's fee?
Silkbeard: No.

The Bard left Silkbeard's headquarters. He was in no hurry to get out of town Whoever survived the battle between the Druids and the villagers was not likely to be friendly to the Bard. So he went for a tour of the remains of Finstown.

Finstown Armory

: The Bard came across a building guarded by two burly Vikings. Even the Bard concluded that there must have been something of value in the building, especially now that I just said it out loud.
Snorri: Look Karl, it's the Bard.
Karl: Ha ha ha! I thought he'd be taller.
Snorri: Best be on your way Bard, you're not allowed in here.
Karl: Don't make us hurt you.
Snorri: Stay back! Don't make us kill you!

The Bard backed away and turned the other direction. Then he saw what had become of the residents of Finstown who hadn't escaped the Vikings.

Finstown Prison

: Upon the edge of town was a makeshift prison camp, with crude ramshackle walls that held captive the once proud people of Finstown. These prisoners had little chance against the well-armed Vikings, but the Bard could pick up a bit of goodwill if he helped them with their dilemma. At this point, the Bard needed as much goodwill as he could muster.

Knight: It doth take a true man to fight and protect himself Bard, but that man doth improve himself tenfold when he puts himself to the Hazard for others. Thou help the weak... thou help thyself. Thou defend the innocent... thou defend thy manhood. If I were thee-

: Yeah, well, since you're no me, we'll end this little talk now.

The Bard thought for a long moment. He looked at the guarded building, and then back at the prisoners, then he nodded.

: Alright. I'll do it. It's time to crack some Viking skulls, I think.

All Movies:

Finstown Gates

Trowie's Pub

Trowie's Pub Menu

Silkbeard's Headquarters

Finstown Store

Meet Silkbeard

SONG: Here's to the Bard

Don't Touch my Plunder


Finstown Prison