The Let's Play Archive

The Bard's Tale

by Stabbey_the_Clown

Part 47: Chapter 11 - 03

Chapter 11-03

Welcome to Hatcher's Farm

: As the Bard and his best friend, father, brother and husband approached the farm, things were eerily quiet. Soon however, the Bard witnessed the sight that had driven Hatcher from his farm. People weren't the only things rising from the dead, and these hacked up animals were quite annoyed at how they had been treated by the butcher. There was a strong case here for a vegetarian lifestyle.

Hatcher: I have something that will help! Father's old bow! This way, brother!
: Back to brother is it? Better then Hilde I suppose.

Hatcher headed off at a jog.

"Oh great, NOW he runs," the Bard said grumpily, "When there's a dozen Draugr all over us, that's the perfect time for a nice Sunday stroll."

Still, the livestock were merely annoying, not anywhere close to as deadly as the Draugr were.

The Bard spotted a chest behind a fence, and went to investigate.

: It is said that the 4 leaves of the clover represent Hope, Faith, Love, and Luck. Only that final trait was something we could expect from the Bard.

Getting to the farmhouse proved to be a challenge.

Level 18
Luck increased from 17 to 19

But finally Hatcher went in to the wrecked and barren structure and searched among the rubble for a bit before coming up with a bow.

Hatcher gets Armed

While Hatcher was searching, the Bard busied himself by looting the poor man's possessions.

Hatcher ran out and waited near the house.

"Come and get me, ya blighters! You'll not force me from me land. Wlliam! Stay behind me!" Hatcher shouted.

"I wish you hadn't done that," the Bard said.

"Why not?" Hatcher asked.

"Because here they come."

Hatcher fired powerful shots with his bow, while the Bard swung his mighty claymore. Finally, the undead livestock fell, but after the last of them were dead (again), the earth rumbled and collapsed slightly nearby, forming a nasty-looking pit.

Meet the Haggis Monster

: Hello, this can't be good. What on earth did you bury here, brother?

Hatcher: Oh my! That's where I buried all the animal parts I didn't need.
: You know, I really don't like the sound of that.

: Quite Frankly, I don't like the looks of it either.

And then... a thing emerged from the pit.

It was not a creature, it was composed of a gluey, writhing mass of hundreds of rotting bits of flesh and bone from dozens of different animals. At the first whiff of the stench, the Bard's sense of smell packed its bags and left a note saying it was staying at its mothers for a week, and the Bard was grateful.

Somehow, the thing was horribly, wrongly alive, and the Bard knew it was angry at him.

It would forever be known as the Haggis Monster.

The Haggis monster launched a glob of rotting flesh in the air.

It stunned the Bard's allies where it landed.

The battle was on.

BOSS: Haggis Monster

The Bard's blade easily sliced through the rotting, random flesh and bone, but the creature was literally made of raw meat, so the slices had little effect on its fighting proficiency.

The Bard's cleaving attacks on the Haggis Monster were causing it to having trouble holding its cohesion. It ducked back into the pit and emitted a low, moaning tone.

Suddenly, some of the Zombie Livestock rushed towards the pit and jumped in. To his horror, the Bard realized what was happening. The haggis Monster was using the farm animals' flesh to repair and replace its own.

The Bard swiped at a zombie chicken rushing towards the pit.

This boss fight is tricky because it can regenerate occasionally during the fight. You have to kill as many animals as possible to keep it from regenerating.

The horrible creature rose again, and it looked completely uninjured. The Bard hacked away at it again until it sunk into the ground and sang the horrible tone again.

The bard tried to fight off the rushing animals off, but they ignored his blows and charged mindlessly for the pit.

Again, the creature rose, and again the Bard slashed at it until it retreated below ground.

Hatcher: Help me Garret, they're everywhere!

The Bard turned and saw the crazy butcher besieged... by undead chickens. The Haggis Monster was already emitting the errie tone, and the zombie livestock were heading to the pit. There was no time to make a choice.

"Bloody hell!" the Bard swore, and went to Hatcher's side to fend off the chickens.

The Bard heard the squelch of the revived Haggis monster.

"No more," the Bard said grimly, "No more bloody undead. I. AM. SICK. OF THE LOT OF YOU!!! Charge!"

The Bard slashed and slashed at the abomination, while Hatcher fired arrow after arrow, which exploded into the thing, liquefying and pulverizing the flesh.

Finally, the Haggis Monster couldn't hold itself together, and disintegrated. Something whistled past the Bard's ear and landed on the ground with a clank.

The Bard glanced at the object. It was a magical shield.

"How'd you get a hold of that?" the Bard asked, "And why am I talking to a hole full of meat."

At this point, the Bard's sense of smell made an unexpected surprise return.

The Bard vomited up everything he had eaten and was going to eat for two days in both directions.

A bit wobbly, the Bard returned to Hatcher.

Haggis for Everyone

Hatcher: Haggis for everyone!

: OK old man, I'd love to stay for the family barbecue and all...

The Bard dry-heaved.

: But first I think I need to see the mines, ok?
Hatcher: Oh, of course father, of course.
: Father, eh? I'm moving up in the world... lead on my son.
Hatcher: Of course.

The Bard eyed Hatcher's bow enviously, but remembered what Hatcher had said earlier.

: How's about giving me that weapon you have there. Isn't that mine anyways?
Hatcher: Of course father I thought you might want I back some day.
: Three cheers for our noble and selfless hero.

The Bard followed Hatcher to a rickety wooden walkway that lead to a small island and the entrance to the Firbolg mines.

The Firbolg Mines


: Great, now to the mines.

: As promised, the Bard's new relative led him to the Firbolg mines. It brings a tear to the eye that these close family members must part ways forever.

: See you old man... And may I suggest you go into the flower growing business.
Hatcher: Farewell Hilde!
: With that, the Bard walked into the Firbolg mines. Each footfall brought him one step closer to his destiny, but one step further from the very special bond he had formed with his beloved butcher.

: Sometimes I really hate you!

Experience: 5500

All Movies:

Welcome to Hatcher's Farm.

Hatcher gets Armed

Meet the Haggis Monster

BOSS: Haggis Monster

Haggis for Everyone

The Firbolg Mines