Part 17: 7 Days, Bonus Scenes
Entry 03: Bonuses
First off, this interview was one of the bonuses for paying $5. All of these will be presented with minimal commentary.
Welcome back to the Simone Taylor interview. My next guest is amateur game designer Yahtzee, who is joining me here in the DeFoe manor lounge to talk about 5 Days a Stranger. Unfortunately, Yahtzee couldn't be with us in person tonight, but we have been able to channel his spirit through an adolescent border collie. Yahtzee, welcome.
Nice to be here.
So, 5 Days a Stranger. Winner of five AGS awards, nominated for DIY Games Game of the Year, where did it all begin?
The five awards in question were Best Game, Best Puzzles, Best Gameplay, Best Scripting, and Best Dialogue. It was a slow year for freeware adventures (I maintain that the game deserved a fair bit of its praise despite its really annoying design, to be fair).
Well, Simone, the idea first came to me while playing through a hentai game called Nocturnal Illusion. I found myself-
Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. Hentai game? As in... Japanese cartoon porn?
Look, we can't control where inspiration strikes from.
Exactly how closely did you intend to follow your source material? Were you planning some kind of gang bang scene at any point?
I don't really think this is relevant.
I was the only woman in this game. I will not be able to sleep at night until I learn the answer to this question.
No, I wasn't planning a gang bang scene.
Thank you. So, you were playing a hentai game, and after you'd finished wanking-
Look, I object to this style of questioning. You're getting fixated on the hentai game thing when it was one of several influences.
Okay, so how much porn did you need before you could start on the game?
That's it, this interview's over.
Aren't you going to storm out?
Erm, this is kind of embarrassing. I kind of couldn't be arsed to make walking sprites for this dog.
That's been your problem all over, hasn't it? You have these visions of games, then you can't be arsed to put all the necessary effort in.
I don't understand your attitude, Simone. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have been in this game.
Oh, and I'm supposed to thank you for that, am I? You could have at least drawn us some damn food. I lost two stone while I was stuck here.
I explained this in the commentary.
God, you're pathetic. And it becomes even more pathetic when you realize that you're writing all of my dialogue and I'm still insulting you.
Hey, yeah. I am the omnipotent master of this realm.
You turned me into an adolescent border collie as well!
To be more precise, a female adolescent border collie in heat. Let's shag!
Did you remember to draw shagging dog sprites?
This was a post-credits epilogue for if you beat the game on Yahtzee's birthday, a date I don't love him enough to remember. The Special Edition lets you select it from the main menu.
Grr stab. Stab kill. Grr kill.
Grr kill, I see. So, what was your relationship with your father like?
Well, we didn't really see eye-to-eye. Nothing I could do was ever good enough for him. One time, I made this sculpture of him for his birthday out of things I found in my nose. But he just kicked me in the face and pushed me back down the stairs.
So... what's your diagnosis, doctor?
Oh, I'm not really a counselor. I'm an imposter, that was the big twist at the end.
You could have told me that before I paid you for 18 sessions.
These were added for the Special Edition as well. I find them to be pretty non-funny except for the final one, but I'll hold my tongue and let you guys decide.
I'm cutting out the lines that just recap the original scene and cutting straight to the changed parts. Sorry if it seems disjointed
You haven't got a line, you just kill people.
Are you sure? I could have sworn I had a line here. I don't have to be doing this, you know! I've been shortlisted for a role on Days of Our Lives.
Sorry, this is a hard pose to keep up.
Angela was the last person to-
What the hell was wrong with that?
Director Yahtzee is just blue text over the screen, so I'm using the dog for simplicity.
Improvise! Quickly! We're rolling!
Er... and now, I will cut out your eyes with this... pipette.
Oh my goodness.
Forget it. Just forget it.
Now for the legitimately good one that shows Yahtzee was willing to laugh at himself even back then (this SE came out a while after the initial release).
Charisma1: Did you kill the whole crew?
No, it was a ghost.
Charisma1: Oh, fair enough. You'd better get onto the rescue ship, then.
Charisma2: Wait, this ending sucks.
Charisma1: Yeah, I hear that.
I suppose it does a bit.
Charisma1: But what if everyone hates it?
Then we'll tell them to swivel on our mid-digits.
Also, I promised LurkingHaro that I would find a use for this, so:
It's big and there are stars. Next time we'll play a game that doesn't take place there. The end.
What's that "Jam" thing in the bloopers a reference to? Chris Morris?
No, it was just random. Random is funny. Ha ha.