Part 1: Day One
Here we are! Man, talk about a killer mock funeral, must have been a blast if Thad wanted to stay until midnight. Anyways, the interface as you can see is pretty simple, if ugly, gigantic and red. Video games always have funny gravestones, let's see if we can find something worth a chuckle.
Gravestone on the right posted:
Here lies John - A family man.
Never mind. What about that flower grave over to the left?
Well, you guys sure did a shitty job. They didn't even finish the stupid thing. Whatever, lets walk to the right.
Meet Digger. Yes, his name is Digger. I guess when you are named Digger you kinda just fall into the work of grave digging. Anyways, talking to him leads to these choices. I can see the first two, but I have no idea what the hell is up with the third one.
: What happened to George's Grave?
: Ain't that strange? Probably some kids did it.
Yeah, you know kids. Always grave robbing.
: How about them Yankees?
: More of a Red Sox fan, my self.
Gripping stuff there, Digger.
Great, finally, we can get the items we really need here, for... Something?
The only things we can pick up here are the rope and the flashlight. Despite this being an adventure game, we can't pick up the weed whacker, shovel, or any of the much cooler items. As soon as we exit the cutscene, we get this.
Man, that is scary. Poor Digger, he was the best character in the game. I'll never forget you, sweet prince. Dig graves and open tool sheds at the crossroads, yo. Anyways, let's head out of the graveyard by walking two screens to the left.
Yikes. Looks like the killer wasn't just happy with finishing our hero, Digger. Looking at the body reveals that it is Homer, the guy who was taking pictures of the mock funeral for the paper. Not Homer! This game just can't help but kill off beloved characters we all knew so well!
Oh well, let's search his body.
Thanks Homer. Well, off we go. No time to let people know of your horrible demise.
Welcome to town, where the scale is all messed up and there is a train/bus thing on the left that never moves. As with every adventure game, the only place to check out first is the bar.
Oh thank God, Digger is still alive. I guess the killer just manhandled some other poor guy and Homer.
Mike Dawson is going to show up here soon.
:Who was it?
: I don't know, but Digger said that the guy was out at the cemetary... Probably digging a hole for Homer's body.
: Hmmmm.. I just talked to Digger.
: If I had been out at the cemetery tonight, I'd try to find that truck of Homer's and get some evidence to prove that it wasn't me that killed him!"
Wow, that was some really awful writing or this dude is obviously the killer.
Seriously, I'm not making that up.
: Do they have any evidence?
: Well, Homer's truck is missing and the police figure that the killer has dumped it by now, but it's sure to have some evidence in it.
Thanks. Anyways, let's steal that beer stein and get out of here. Now you might be asking "Well shit, we have to find this truck. It's going to take so many puzzles and finding a hidden cave and shit an-" Well, no. It's literally one screen to the right.
Truly, this killer is a diabolical genius. Let's crack this fucker up.
Well, you don't know it unless you read the book or watch the flick, but Thad is a huge chain smoker so we need those butts. Also, we should grab those pencils and for no reason we are going to pick up that gigantic bloody whiskey bottle as well.
Oh well! Let's go home.
Despite no one being home, Thad loves to leave every single light on in the house when gone because he is a gigantic jerk.
First thing heading in is using adventure game logic and pushing every object you can find. Yes, Thad has a secret book case that when pushed goes into his study. Why? Well in the book he had a study in a place outside of town th- You know what. It doesn't matter. It's just because he is stupid. We also pick up a book near the phone.
That is Alexis Machine, huh? I take it back, this dude isn't bad ass. He looks like a doughy Tom Selleck.
Into the study we find the only item worth getting, a blank piece of paper. Enough adventure, let's hit the sack.
That is the biggest bed room I have ever seen. Whatever, night.
Thad has a dream that invovles watching black and white shots of the intro. I can understand the face he is making.
Oh well, let's get breakfast. Nothing beats off the gather evidence all night blues like bacon and eggs.
Whoops, I guess breaking into a car to steal evidence for a crime we didn't commit was really dumb or something.