The Dark Half

bybig duck equals goose

Part 2: Day Two

First thing to lose the cops is to hide the whiskey bottle in the closet.

Also, we need a clean shirt. Or an S-_!\$@ as the game likes to say. You can get this from the dresser. Now to deal with the cops.

Death/solution here.

Fred... my archnemsis... Wait, who the hell is Fred? Anyways, let's go to the photo store.

Alright, let's drop off the film. Sure, whatever. A full day without eating? We can't have that, let's hit the cafe.

Now comes a really stupid adventure puzzle. See that bench?

Yeah, we need to scrounge for some quarters and a lighter. Wow, Thad. Now here is another fun part. To avoid instant death later, we need to smoke the remaining evidence and start writing. Nothing prompts you to do this and the only way you can know to do this is to suffer repeated jail time endings later. Now, Thad won't write without smoking and he can't just smoke anywhere. So, let's light up here and start crackin' out some words on paper.

During this Thad mentions how much nicotine rules. As a ex-smoker, I agree with this.

Man, I love nicotine too, but I can't say my eyes roll back in my head and make me write creepy things on paper. Anywho, after that, we get a quick cutscene.

Wow, scary! A car!

Incase you can't read lightspeed, the text says a black Toronado is parked outside of Fred's crib. If you read the book or watched the movie, a Toronado was the choice of car that Alexis Machine always used.

But, due to this being a shitty game, most people will have no idea about that.

Anyways, we randomly have to visit the barber.

The barber mentions that Homer was murdered. Well, no shit. Anyways, options one and two have him lament about Homer and ask us if we want a shave. Due to Thad being dirt fucking poor, that isn't going to happen. Instead, let's ask him about some Fred.

Fred!!

Somehow leaving the shop made Thad glitch out, walk ontop of a roof, and made the game freeze, cute. Also here is a part where most people who play this get stuck. In order to reach Fred's digs, you have to actually click the WALK TO command (You can't just walk there normally, that's silly) and click a small black pixel across from the barber shop.

Nice. Anyways, let's grab that blank paper in the street and talk to this old homeless lady.

Whatever. Fred lives on the second floor, let's go.

Wow. What a shit hole. You see that blue smear on the floor? That is a canister of tear gas. What? Your apartment didn't have random canisters of Tear Gas?

Nice poster, Fred! Looking at him shows he was shot to death. Looking at his apartment says the world will not miss him. Looking at the writing on the walls you can see it's the same thing we wrote while having a stroke in the cafe! Spooky! Let's loot his closet.

Oh no! Apparently Fred loved to lock his dog randomly in the closet. No wonder, that guy is so evil! Alas, the dog keeps barking at us and we can't seem to loot stuff from the closet. This calls for a sensible adventure game solution.

Well, that was retarded. The closet doesn't have a light so let's use the flash light.

A strongbox, but it's locked. We don't have the tools for it. Luckily, there is a hardware shop right next to us. Talking to the guy at the counter gives us this.

Yes, that is right kids. If something is locked at home, the best solution is a gun. Anyways, this fat moronic asshole won't sell us anything because he is busy crying over his locked box.

Thad declares the hardware shop guy to be a fountain of knowledge and goes home to get his gun. Now, the gun is locked in a cabinet in the living room. How do we get the key for it? Easy, it's under the plant in the living room.

This is so stupid. Anyways, let's go back to the apartment and blow the shit out of a box.

Now, you might ask "Hey, that gun thing was stupid. What do we do?" Sorry, we still use the gun. We just need to cover the gun with a pillow!

In the box is 6\$. I guess we could have sold that tear gas for more, but whatever. Six bucks! Well, that should give us enough change to get a new thing of film.

Stepping out, our wife wants something. I wonder what...

In the one only semi-clever puzzle this game has, we have to ditch the gun before we step in the door and talk to the police. How do we do this? We hide it in the mail box.

Now prepare for the dumb to seep in with this final video for the update.

"Sure officer, here is a paper with the words that were at the crime scene. By the way, I didn't do it."