Part 11: Episode 10: Are You Going To Scarborough Fair?I suppose we should get back to Shana now that we have our cure. Let's face it, this is a video game and there is 100% chance she's the White Dragoon. Things are looking up in the world for our girl!
Sanator: "Did you find a Dragoni Plant!?"
Dart pulls out the White Dragoon spirit and sets it down on Shana. Who is apparently not worthy of a blanket or pillow. I guess when you are in a coma you don't care about the simple things in life.
Dart: "But with this.... We should be able to save her."
Dart: "Wh, what!?"
Lavitz: "I thought the power cannot be released without the help from another spirit, right?"
[Shana wakes up.]
Shana: "Dart, what is this?"
Dart: "It's the Dragoon Spirit of the White Silver Dragon. I wonder if Shana is!?"
Lavitz: "A Dragoon!"
Rose: "Otherwise, this much power wouldn't drawn. Shana purged the poison with
her own power."
Sanator: "It's true. Her spirit is back in her body. The poison is completely gone!"
Shana: "Dart.... What is going on?"
Dart: "I don't know if it is a coincidence or fate, but you were saved with
this power, Shana. Do you feel it? This is the power of the Dragon...the
Shana: "Yes, I feel it. The warm power of a Dragon.... Not only powerful, but
Sanator: "Ex, Excuse em, it's too bright and I cannot see! Can you do something
Shana: "Oh! Sorry!"
After oggling her pretty new stone a second more she finally puts it away.
Dart: "Can you get up?"
Shana: "See. I'm fine now!"
Dart: "Doctor.... About this, I don't know what to say."
Sanator: "I wouldn't understand even if you told me. It's enough just seeing
a miracle with my own eyes! It was worth waiting this long! In
addition, I don't need any reward. Just end the war quickly. That'll
Dart: "There is no more threat of the Dragon. The rest will be taken care of
by King Albert soon."
Sanator: "I see.... Hmm, you defeated that Dragon."
Sanator:You might be able to win the title of the strongest in the world!"
Dart: "The strongest in the world?"
Sanator: "Are you interested, huh? Well, you are just in time for the Hero
Competition. Daredevils are coming from all over the world to compete
with their brawn and brains. If you are interested, go to the Arena.
I am looking forward to seeing the match."
So we head back towards where we picked up the Star Dust by the chipmunk. We can now go into the arena which has the tourney and a bunch of terrible minigames! Oh boy minigames.
Ginger: "Hey, if any of you people out there are live fast die young types, and
want to test your courage, step up and fill out the application! My
advice to those of you who are feeble, cowards, or have cold feet,
don't register. I guarantee you will die. So you'll register now?"
Dart: "I'll participate."
Ginger: "That's my man! And, who will be participating?"
Dart: "Of course I am."
Lavitz: "I'm not participating. I am a Knight of Basil. I am not eligible to
participate in these kinds of competitions."
Rose: "I won't either. I don'tlike the word, 'dude.' Besides, it'll spoil the
competition if I participate. I'm too good."
Shana: "Good luck!"
Lavitz: "We will be watching from up there."
Lavitz: "(Just don't turn yourself into a Dragoon. It'll create a big mess.)"
Lavitz may be a goon but he knows to watch out for Dart. Who is definitely even more clueless on women than him.
Ginger: "When you are ready, go to the waiting room! We'll be waiting for you!"
????: "Martial abilities mature along with the spirit. You have such an
immature spirit. You are not a match for me."
Wandering Warrior: "Urrggghh!! I can't stand it anymore!! I'll settle up with you here!!"
You know what happens to jerks? A 70 year old guy wearing purple is going to fucking flatten you. That's what happens to jerks.
????: "I told you so. You have to respect old people."
Haschel: "Oh!? Oh!! It's you Dart!!"
Dart: "You'll never change."
Haschel: "Well, I taught him some courtesy. That's all. Hmm, you...have become
tougher since the last time I saw you."
Dart: "You too, Haschel, you look even stronger."
Dart: "I know. I missed you, man. Talking to you reminds me of our journey together."
Haschel: "That reminds me.... What happened to...that black whachamacallit?"
Ginger: "Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey! Gents! The time has come to decide the
strongest in Endiness! Enter the arena when you are ready!!"
Haschel: "Don't lose before our match! This is it. Here I come!"
Attendant: "Are you tensed up? It's natural when this is your
first time. Take it easy!"
Here is Gorgaga. Our first opponent in the necessary tournament in every RPG. I can't imagine this guy is hard cause he drew a six pack onto his flabby body and may be missing his pupils. On the other hand:
The bastard throws out a poison item at us before the match even starts proper. Jokes on him though cause I'm a cheating bastard as well and wore a poison guard.
And since I'm on my own and not Dragoon-ing it up at all I switched back to Volcano. The damage difference will speed this up considerably. Really this guy is a total joke though. He takes maybe 4 hits. Really none of the contestants are that scary, especially if you know their gimmick.
The game heals you up after every fight. If you really are concerned you can run back upstairs, save, then start the next round. That really should not be necessary though.
Attendant: "You are relaxed a little. But still stiff. A deep
breath....maybe isn't necessary. Here you go!"
Next on the chopping block is Serfius. Really no tricks to this at all.
Basically he just plods ahead in his two tons of armor and hits for an ok amount. After you get him down low he decides to take it serious. Cause its a good idea in a tourney to take hits like a chump until you are nearly dead.
Serfius: Powerful as I expected.
This is pretty much like Frugal's power up way earlier in the game. Was pretty much a waste of time though. Even with his upped defense Dart kills him the hit after he decides to be serious.
I can't believe my play to show off failed!
Attendant: "Are you ready for the next round?"
Attendant: "You've warmed up haven't you! Give it your best shot
for your friends upstairs! Come on, let's begin!"
Oh crap we're fighting a Space Marine. This might actually be--
Scratch that. Going to be a OH GOD
Yeeeah. After you send him critical he does an attack that sets you to 1 HP. I HIGHLY recommend either immediately killing him with more magic or defending.
For his next trick if you attack him after he drops his hammer he'll take no damage and just throw your ass into the ground. Don't do that.
Luckily after the magic he had basically one hit left in him. Suffer not the emperor's children to live.
Attendant: "Even though he lost, he is pretty strong!"
Attendant: "The only thing I can say now is it's a game of
chance! Good luck!"
Oh hey. Maybe this will be a bow user that doesn't suck!
Basically for a first few attacks he'll have his bizarro fruity targeting system flash over the body then he'll shot one of the five body parts. Once he hits all five(he doesn't repeat) he'll do a special attack. This won't take long cause he's damn fast and we'll often 2-1 you on attacks.
William Tell must also exist on Endiness. Cause Atlow tosses three apples up into the air, then fires through them into Dart's chest.
Then all the pressure points he hit earlier go kaboom. What's SUPPOSED to happen is you get hit with fear and he starts doing obscene damage.
What REALLY happens is I have the right accessory on and cave his skull in.
Dart: "Hey Haschel! At last we can meet in the final match!"
Haschel: "Well...the world is still to be explored. Ha Ha Ha."
Dart: "No, did you lose?"
Haschel: "He was a tremendous sword master. I think...his name was Lloyd or
something. Think of him as a test for yourself, and just do it."
Haschel: "Speak of the devil."
Dart: "My name is Dart. We will meet in the final match. Let's have a good
That's not creepy. Not creepy at all.
Dart: "What? I mean, I already sort of have a girlfriend. I think."
Ginger: "Here is the gong to determine the strongest! No time for holding back
anymore! The crowd is on the edge of their seats!"
Haschel: "It comes from the heart, after all."
Attendant: everything is fabulous. Now the finals are next! Come on!!"
You think he could come up with SOMETHING new after all these rounds.
This fight. Yep. You aren't winning it. In fact, you are going to do zero damage. At least they make this fact painfully obvious.
All of Dart's attack completely fucking whiff. He misses so hard the miss icon doesn't even come up. Then Lloyd yells TOO SLOW or some other nonsense at you.
Pretty much all you can do is take it like a man. Which is actually -fairly- long when you have 500 HP. His normal attacks don't hit that hard.
Dart bitches about not being able to do a damn thing. But who can blame him?
MY FACE. Never pick a fight with a guy who leaves after images. Honestly I think now would be a not terrible time to break that "No unleashing the ancient power in public" rule.
After beating us down to our last HP Lloyd decides to finish us off.
Dart didn't take Dodging Ninja Strikes 257 at Celes High. So he is wrecked while Lloyd casually walks away. THAT didn't go according to plan.
Ginger: "Here are the results of the annual Endiness Hero Competition!! The
victor, is the Platinum-haired swordsman, Lloyd!!! The toughest and
strongest man in all of Endiness!!! Second is Dart the 'Young Flame'!!
Third place goes to Haschel, the 'Master of the Rouge Art'!!
Rouge art may be among the fruitiest of all martial arts. Although Haschel is wearing purple...
Dart and Haschel wave to the crowd, but Lloyd just walks back into the waiting room without a word. What a prick.
Dart: "I was totally defeated."
Lloyd: "You haven't reached your limits. You will be stronger. You will have
to be. You too. You'll become stronger."
Haschel: "You flatter me."
Lavitz decides its time to join on the losers party down here.
Lavitz: "I watched your match with Dart. I would love to have a match
with you if this were a time of peace."
Lloyd: "Sorry, but you are no match for me."
Lavitz: "It's hard to take, but it must be true. Someday, if we meet, please
accept my challenge. I'll be stronger too."
Lloyd: "I'll think about it."
With that Lloyd leaves never to be seen again. Or at least not until the end of the next update.
Dart: "It's not only you, Lavitz, who needs more discipline. I couldn't keep
up with him either."
Haschel: "Me neither. Ha ha ha."
Dart: "I didn't introduce you to everybody, yet. Why don't we go outside? I
want you to meet my friends."
Haschel: "Interesting! The lone wolf Dart has 'friends"! Let me see your
Way to be a dick Haschel. I still love you though.
Shana: "Dart!! Congratulations on second place!"
Dart: "Thanks. I wish I could have won first prize for you."
Shana: "It's okay, Dart. You looked very cool! Besides, just having you safe
is enough for me. Oh, this person?"
Haschel: "You only watched Dart, did you? Oh well. Ha ha ha."
Dart: "It's not that. You haven't changed, Haschel. He's never serious except
when he is fighting."
Haschel: "Well it's not.... It's true. But the goal of my journey is a serious
one. I am looking for my daughter who ran away."
Dart: "It was around four years ago. We met when I was on my quest pursuing the
Rose continues knowing way too much in general and being way too interested in the Black Monster in specific.
Haschel: "The tootsie over there is your friend too?"
Rose: "Don't 'tootsie' me. My name is Rose."
Haschel: "Well, which one is Dart's sweetheart?"
Dart: "Wha, What are you talking about! Besides, I told you about Shana many
Haschel: "Did you? So, you still think of her as your baby sister?"
Dart: "Stop that."
[Lavitz whispers to Dart.]
Lavitz: "Hey Dart. Here is the plan."
Lavitz starts dragging Rose away. I have no idea how he ever thought this was a good idea. I thought he was smarter than that.
Sanator: "How did you get this black eye, Mr. Slambert?"
Lavitz: "I...I fell down the stairs."
Lavitz: (Just pretending. Really.)
Shana: "Dart.... It's a good chance. Can we do it?"
Haschel: "Shall we go?"
Making use of the distraction, Haschel decides to show Dart how to be a real man snd starts walking off with Shana. Although its kind of creepy with him being nearyl 4x her age. Can't fault him for optimism though.
Lavitz: "I didn't mean you, Master Haschel!"
Dart: "I guess. We haven't had any time to relax. Shall we!?"
After that we are free to play terrible mini-games. You need to do at least one before Lavitz will let you leave. You can win tickets to turn in for some items, but really the only thing of note is a Healing Rain which is 100% heal for the party. I say fuck it, toss some rocks and squirrel rabbits, and get on my way.
Dart: "I got enough."
Lavitz: "Had some fun?"
Shana: "Yes. Thank you, Lavitz."
Dart: "Now, we gotta get back to Bale otherwise, we'll be late
with our report to King Albert."
Lavitz: "Dart, come this way."
Aaaand apparently after this point Fraps died and failed to inform me. So for the last bit of this update will have some lower quality shots I scavenged from elsewhere.
Dart: "I didn't do anything."
Lavitz: "'Anything?' You didn't even take her hand?"
Dart: "Shana is not a baby anymore. I don't need to go hand in hand."
Dart may be the 2nd strongest man in Endiness, but he may be the densest as well.
Dart: "I guess. But Shana is like a baby sister to me. I cannot change that."
Lavitz: "I don't think Shana thinks that way."
Dart: "When the war ends, I gotta go on my journey again. Pursuing the Black
Monster...and I don't want her to be involved in that."
Lavitz: "Dart. Revenge doesn't solve anything. I learned that from the death
of Greham, the guy who betrayed my father, the guy who defected to the
Sandora.... The guy I hated.
Lavitz: You should pay attention to the present. I'll accept a couple of drinks
for this advice. When the war ends, let's have a drink in Bale."
Lavitz is rightly disappointed and walks back inside. He was the perfect wing man, pulled the crazy one away so Dart could get some time alone. Then his bro totally fucking drops the ball. Way to be Dart. Way to be.
Dart: "He, Hey, Wait!! Lavitz...."
Alright. Time to get out of this two bit town and on our way to Bale. Saved the girl, killed the dragon, beat some punks up. All in all a pretty solid week. Hell, Albert will probably throw us a parade.
Knight of Basil: "Urgh!!"
Making it into town and seeing Lavitz the knight falls over.
Lavitz: "You, you are a Knight of Basil!! What has happened?"
Knight of Basil: "Sir...Lavitz? I'm...glad... At least I won't die in vain...."
Lavitz: "What's going on!?"
Son of a bitch. Should have know this day wasn't going to end well.
Knight of Basil: "The King...Hellena..."
And one more knight of Basil is dead. They can't have many after this and the fiasco at the Seventh Fort. Not to mention Hoax.
Lavitz: "King Albert!! I am coming now!!"
Dart: "Calm down Lavitz!! Pull yourself together!!"
Lavitz: "Let me go!!! I gotta go! King Albert!!!"
Haschel comes flying out of fucking no where, leaps about 30 feet over Shana, Dart, and Lavitz, then punches him right in the gut.
Haschel: "Sorry about that."
Lavitz: "I am.... King Albert!!"
He seems a little confused after waking up. I think Haschel might have punched him so hard in the stomach he got a concussion.
Haschel: "You idiot!! When knights lose self-control, their lord cannot be
saved. Only you can save King Albert now."
Haschel: "While you were sleeping, I want to get a feel for the situation.
Bale is under occupation. So, I don't think the remaining knights can
Lavitz: "What about King Albert!?"
Haschel: "He offered himself up as a captive so that the people in Basil could
Lavitz: "Just because I defeated a dragon...!! Why was I all whooped up!!"
Haschel: "There is no time for procrastination."
Dart: "There is no choice. We must venture forth to Hellena!"
Haschel: "We are taking the king back, aren't we?"
Shana: "We still have time!"
Lavitz: "Yeah!! That's right!! We are still here!! But how about you, Master
Haschel: "I've gone too far, I might as well just go too."
Lavitz: "What about your daughter!?"
Haschel: "Don't mind me. I have already been looking for her for 20 years.
Going with you for a little while won't make any difference."
Lavitz: "Master Haschel, I cannot thank you enough."
Haschel: "Don't worry about it. But can you call me just Haschel? Master
Haschel makes me feel uneasy...that includes you too, Shana."
Shana: "Okay, Haschel!"
Damn it feels good to be a gangtsa.
Lavitz: "Now! As soon as we are ready, let's head for Hellena!!"
Sanator: "I'll have lots of things to do."
So much for staying away from prison for long. Our whole crew is going to be hardened criminals at this rate. I'm sure you guys were all missing the fat fuck any way though right, guys? Guys?
Bonus! Haschel Concept Art.