Part 3: Level 1: The Crackhouse

The Crackhouse

Turning into this alley seemed to do the trick, I'm standing right in front of it. The crackhouse. Manufacture factors of mindless idiots and criminals. Better get moving.


Theft? I don't think so, buddy

Having 1 less crook on the street, I proceeded down the seedy alley to the crackhouse, when...

"No, please!" *KKRSSHH* "Aaaaaaaah!" *SPLAT*
Well wouldn't you know, some guys had a discussion and one flew out of the window. I better hurry to that damned crackhouse!

With pleasure, my dear pals. You just await your turn!

Entering into the crackhouse through a side entrance, I see this hooded guy sitting around alone. Hmm, let's ask him what he knows about this place, hell knows he could even be useful once in his life before he says hello to the devil!

Say hello to Mister Floor!

Reluctant to make close acquaintance with Mister Floor, he spills everything he think will save his life. So, the boss of this run-down with of shit "establishment" is Damage. I'd better introduce myself

As I head down, some guy went to check up on his now forever silent friend Maurice. As it turned out, I encountered Captain Obvious!

Ah yes, the good old boomstick, how I love thee. Let me embrace you, we have fun times ahead of us!

I disargee.


A little firefight took place after which I got rid of my human shield. But then, as I wanted to proceed through a rotten set of double doors, I got this eerie feeling that I shouldn't head through them, so instead I use a side entrance into the same room. Turns out my instinct didn't betray me, as they was a crackhead laying in ambush behind a couch.

*WHAM* Bending him backwards, I gave him a solid punch with the pistol on the face. Cracked his skull pretty good!

In the next room, people said that I should keep it quiet as they were watching television. Weeeeeeell....

I would've let them go had they just watched some documentary. But they were demolishing their mind with some brainless action movie. I ended their misery.

Proceeding down the hall, I saw a particularly suspicious individual. Placing him in a chokehold, he informed me that there lays an ambush behind the door. Oh, well in this case...

...go ahead and tell your buddy to drop his gu- well, too late! At least be grateful that you could die for JUSTICE! Ah, well, not really.

The shotgun-toting crackhead got the honor of being my meat shield as I proceeded to clear some kind of recreation room where crackheads were playing poker. Come to think of it, one of them had received a royal flush, but alas, he wasn't keen on the rules and his buddies bullshitted him that he had the worst hand. I wish I could kill his buddies twice for bullshitting the poor fellow about such a great hadn! And I wish I could've killed this guy thrice because he actually received this hand. I had never luck at gambling.

Proceeding further led me to this room. Hmm, seems kind of familiar. Second story, huge windows...wait, I hear muffled voices.
"It's too late for money, maggot!"
"I'll pay anything, just name it!"
"How about yet life?"
I intervened "How about....not?"

SHORYUKEN!

In the corner sat a junkie, who exclaimed "Heeeeey, it's that Finisher duuuuude!" as he saw me. The other one glanced over his shoulder, but was met with my fist. Alas, he also seemed to have some memory issues as I questioned him


He offered to talk to the other junkies to lay down their arms, but honestly, could I trust him after he had already lied to me once upon 10 seconds of meeting me?

I think not. (Not pictured here: Punisher is being an ass and telling the junkie "You're a loser and an abuser". Woo PC messages!)

Proceeding onward, I've met all sorts of deranged individuals
"Hey, about time, come on in! Let's get that coat off, drop those guns, and get all cozy."
"I don't have time for this" I grunted
"You don't know what you're missing!" the filthy prostitute screamed back
"I think I do." every possible STD in the world, and then some
(all ingame dialogue )

Further down were these fellas
"Whoa, dude! I'm so wasting, I'm seein', like, big guys in trench coats!"
"I see him too. He's probably real."
"Shouldn't we, like, run away or something?"
And they proceeded to lie around and giggle at the ceiling. Ugh, junkies!

Seems like I'm getting in the habit of crashing parties...wait, whoooaaaa

That's some wicked slick sound system ya got there, dudes! Like, totally sick!

Seeing the matress at the wall, I remember the filthy whore back a couple of rooms and started thinking....I decided to try that matress out. I was hard as cement and I think a couple of springs burried themselves deep in my ass.

Wait....what the hell am I talking? I have to get out of here quick, the fumes are starting to screw with my head!

So I proceed further, when, in front of a door, I hear a conversation
"You see the look on the Punisher's face, Larry?"
"Man, he looked pissed!"
"He always looks pissed, like he bit into a shitburger!"
"Ha! Hey, that reminds me, I need to take a dump!"
"Save some for the punisher, in case he's hungry!"
I didn't get offended. I didn't even get bothered. I'd just like to mention that they now have knives stuck in their throats.

Climing a balcony to the third floor, I encounter these guys. "You can't save them both!" they yell at me. Wrong.

Clearing some more rooms, I come into what I assume is the "throne room" of their boss, Damage, and to my surprise Damage is...

...a couch!

No, wait, that can't be, arg, damn fumes, get out of my head!

...

Upon closer inspection, Damage was actually behind the couch, cowering like a coward.


Oh he played hard to break in the beginning all right. They all do. But the cool midnight air and the realization that all of his dumb guards now lay covered in blood made him change his attitude.

A snitch! Well I'll be damned, guess I'll have to dig deeper. And since Damage won't be of any use anymore, I'll let go of him. On my way out of the crackhouse I encountered him once again...

...but he wasn't as talkative as before

Well this just keeps getting better. At least put some effort into killing me!

ASM(unch)-129. I'll have to check it up.