Part 26: Horatio Torquemada
Alright guys, after this update i'll be gone for a couple of weeks without internet access, so the thread will have to be on hiatus until I get back.
Feb 03, 2008
We last left our hero flying face first towards Monkey Island...
And so begins the third chapter...
Hey there little buddy.
Could you help me out here?
I'm Herman Toothrot!
I can't breathe!
I've only been waiting twenty years to talk to someone civilised, I don't mind.
Fine. By the way, you might want to think about putting out that fire.
We made it! Hooray!
"There will be a meeting Wednesday evening to discuss the recent occupation of the Sacred Monkey Head by the ghost pirate LeChuck and the subsequent impact on the environment and tourist trade. All Monkey Island cannibals are encouraged to attend."
So they're in the Monkey Head then, whatever that is. Eh, what's the rush? I've got my very own island paradise complete with bearded weirdo to explore.
There's gotta be a beach with some topless action that I can break out the reflective sunglasses for around here somewhere.
I should be used to getting notes in place of fabulous riches and fabulous sex by now...
"Results of the all nude volleyball and trampolining tournament held yesterday are as follows..." Motherfucker!
"We must ask you once again to curtail your nightly activities in the Sacred Monkey Head area. Decent people are trying to sleep!"
I love stuff!
Relax, It's not going to break.
What's this doohickey?
Nice Spyglass! I have one just like it!
Oh perfect. I'm gone five minutes and somebody comes in here and dumps gunpowder all over the floor. Naturally I don't think YOU had anything to do with it.
You don't fool me sonny.
Are you some kind of castaway?
What do I look like? The caretaker?
Why, the people watching of course!
My name's Toothrot. Herman Toothrot. I live here.
Were you stranded?
You think I stay here for my health?
Exploiting the loneliness of the elderly to steal their shit, all in a days work.
Speaking of which...
Hmmm, can't get around this side.
Better head back this way.
Dammit, I have the perfect line, and there's no ladies around to hear it.
"I don't mind you worshipping in front of the Sacred Monkey Idol which doubles as my home and secret base of operations... But could you please refrain from leaving messy sacrifices on my porch. Also, please DO NOT ENTER the Monkey Head.
You heard the note. We've got to enter that Monkey Head! And fast!
Look at them out there. Mocking me. Oh don't think you won't pay!
I just can't get rid of this motherfucker. Maybe if I listen to him for a few minutes he'll go away.
How did you get stranded here?
Well, I sailed here with a friend of mine twenty years ago. We hoped to discover The Secret of Monkey Island. But my friend met with a horrifying and tragic accident... which claimed his life, I couldn't sail the ship back by myself. I trained a bunch of chimps to crew the ship and sail it back to Melée Island. They were supposed to get help and come back for me... Something must have happened.
How come you didn't just go with the chimps?
WEEKS on a boat full of monkeys? Oh joy.
You're the only one on the island?
I'm the only CIVILISED person on the island. There's a native tribe of hunter/gatherers, but I don't talk to them. They ARE cannibals, but they're not dangerous, unless you lend them something.
Did you lend something to the cannibals?
I lent my banana picker to them and they never gave it back. As collateral they gave me this enormous cotton swab. It opens the big monkey head idol they worship.
What happened to your pants?
Well that's that mystery cleared up.
Excuse me, I've got pressing business to attend to.
Yes, me too.
Hmmm, I can see that scale/seesaw/sculpture thing from up here...
It hit it!
The other one!
It's falling back onto its spot...
Holy shit, It launched the first one!
Wait... Where's it going?
Is it okay... ?
Score! Suck it!
Taste sweet revenge motherfuckers!
Whoo, victory dance time!
Something's not right...
I'm an asshole. Back in a few.