The Let's Play Archive

The Ur-Quan Masters

by ProfessorProf

Part 17: Jun 21 2156 - Juffo-Wup



How did you escape the slave shield, human? Or are you a rogue?

Alien, you have spoken the Words, and you have spoken them rightly. We will tell you our reasons why we enslave all other sentient life.
We evolved on a hostile world, the descendants of solitary hunters. In those ancient days, there was no Kohr-Ah or Kzer-Za, only the Ur-Quan. We explored our world, and then the space beyond. Here we met the six races of the Sentient Milieu, which we joined as partners.
It was on a routine planetfall that one of our Milieu scoutships first met the Dnyarri. They were evilly intelligent creatures who could control the minds of others. They wanted to rule the universe. We had no choice but to give it to them. For thousands of years, we were unthinking slaves to the Dnyarri. The Dnyarri had a special liking for us Ur-Quan, so they began to tinker with our genes. They built two Ur-Quan sub-races - one Green, the thinkers and planners; the other Black, the warriors and laborers.
When the martyred genius Kzer-Za gave us the secret to defeating the Dnyarri, we destroyed them. Then we decided that we would never again be slaves. We would follow the Path of Now and Forever. We decided to enslave or imprison all other intelligent life in the galaxy. We had slave-shielded one world, when we learned that the Black Ur-Quan, under a new leader, Kohr-Ah, had devised the Eternal Doctrine, which called for the `cleansing', the annihilation, of all non-Ur-Quan sentient life.
Before we could stop them, they burned the Yuptar race's homeworld, and were on their way to the planet of the last remaining free race. We met the Kohr-Ah in orbit above that planet. We confronted them. They would not submit. We fought. When our battle was done, the Kohr-Ah were defeated. We exiled them, sent the remnant of the Kohr-Ah fleet into the unknown reaches of the galaxy. Then we began our own migration, moving around the galaxy in the opposite direction of the Kohr-Ah.
Captain. You have heard our words. Now you have a decision to make. Submit to us, the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, or face our wrath.

Submit or die, foolish human!

Hoo boy. Here we go.

The Ur-Quan Kzer-Za Dreadnought's primary weapon is a fusion blaster that does 6 damage per hit. It's slow, but not so slow that I can easily get behind it.

Its rate of fire is brutally fast, although it takes a lot of weapon energy to spam it.

The secondary fighter is launching fighter drones. Each one costs 1 crew to launch, and chases the player, harassing them with lasers for about a minute before returning to the dreadnought. Against ships with point defense systems, it won't launch them.

This is the Skiff - fast and inertialess - if you stop firing the engines, it stops dead in its tracks.

But its weapons are too short-range to give this thing a real challenge.

In the end, I'm forced to a painful conclusion:

There's no way I can kill four of these things right now.

I hastily retreat to QuasiSpace before any more of those monsters can find me, then jump from there to my next destination.

Hey, look at that. The Zoqfot are even deeper in the murder zone than we thought.


Gamma and Alpha Scuti prove kind of empty. I move deeper into this region.

Along the way, I encounter some aliens!



It is none other than the flattened old face of our friends the human! But old ally, are ye not knowing that we, the Yehat are allied with the Ur-Quan now? And yer presence outside the slave shield, and in an armed starship are clear violations of yer Oath of Fealty?! Whatever shall we do? It just isn't a right thing to kill you, human, but as a loyal member of my Clan, I must obey the wishes of our Queen!

As much as my heart cries to aid ye, valiant human, I cannot! Each of us is sworn first to our Queen, who has commanded us to treat ye as an enemy of the Crown!

Can't ye see that ye are killing me human? The shame!... the awful shame of it! What ye say is true, we SHOULD be under the same wing, but DAMN YER EYES!... our Queen has given the Ur-Quan our allegiance, and there is nothing I can be doing about it now!

And it's over.

I go and hunt down another fleet.

We have sympathies fer yer cause, tis true, but we must obey the orders of our Queen, however much we may disagree with them!

The cowards live?!! This is unbelievable!! It is a SAD, SAD day to be hearing this thing from ye, human. The P... the Pku... I canna even say their vile name! The Pku... PKU-NK! are the greatest embarrassment our species has ever suffered! Do not be calling these wretched creatures an offshoot of our species! Better it is that ye be calling them GARBAGE or DROPPINGS! Or better yet do not be talking about them at all!

Your words are flying in the face of the facts, human. We are no longer being your allies. But unlike the nobles of our homeworld, we, of the Starship Clans are bereaved at this course of events. The Queen's decision to be joining the Hierarchy, pains us!

We cannot! To be doing so would be a direct violation of our royal Queen's commands!

We cannot be giving ye material aid, But perhaps ye can make use of this information, Captain. When we were fighting the Great War against the Mycons, we encountered a number of odd worlds which seemed to be having their crust shattered. Molten lava ran across the surface in huge rivers, and dense metallic elements were abundant. But the strangest world we found was the first planet at the star at coordinates 639.5 : 231.2.
The Mycons were guarding this planet with an almost limitless number of their Podships, as though there were something of great value there. We could never break through their forces, though we destroyed scores of their ships. Perhaps, if ye fare better than us, or can somehow trick the Mycons to let ye land, you may discover this secret, and it may help ye in yer quest.

Though honoring our past commitments we are not, we will be letting you go in peace.

Looks like we'll need an extra edge to convince the Yehat to join us, if it can be done at all. For now, another new part of space!

New ship! Is this the Mycon?



Juffo-Wup is the hot light in the darkness. All else is unfulfilled Void. We are the Mycon.

A single spore lands, finds nourishment in decay and soon attains maturity. In turn it exhales a cloud of new life, a thousand spores, each lands, finds nourishment in decay... so progresses Juffo-Wup.

Our bodies seethe with the passion of our genes. A thousand of your species do not possess the richness in one of my cells.
Juffo-Wup fills in my fibers and I grow turgid. Violent action ensues.

Well, that was... something.

The Mycon Podship is a strange, but powerful, vessel. Its primary weapon is a homing ball of plasma, which are VERY long range. However, as they travel, they slowly diffuse, doing less and less damage the longer they fly.

This is where I have to confess that I'm not very good with the Skiff.

Its primary weapon is a short-range laser, aimed at the enemy ship. Its secondary is a random teleport - it's a powerful escape tool, but sometimes you teleport to the wrong place, and something like that happens.

So, it's in with a Nemesis! With its ponderous speed, the Podship is a prime target for space marines.

The Podship's secondary is an annoying one - in exchange for a full combat battery, it can regenerate three crew.

Still, *Smell* perserveres! I take down the Podship using an advanced tactic - the plasma balls can be lured into turning around and crashing back into the ship that fired them.

However, the second ship narrowly destroys the Nemesis.

Avenging them is PorKoo, giving the Podship a good, aggressive tonguing.

The Mycon are an aggressive lot.

I give a second fleet a wide berth as I explore this meager star system.

This is Beta Brahe - the planet the Yehat pointed me towards. However, I'm gonna steer clear of it for now, on account of I don't have any good ways to deal with infinity Podships.

Instead, Delta Scorpii!

Nobody's home. Mining.

Onwards to Beta Copernicus.

This system is a bit busier.

I'm able to clear out a few planets while dodging the swarm, but eventually...

I fill with my parents' parents' parents' parents' parents... I am they - and they are us. Then, and now.

The Deep Children are part of Juffo-Wup - home builders. The dwellers in the Mohorovichic.
Juffo-Wup fills in my fibers and I grow turgid. Violent action ensues.

From here on, I use the Heart of Gold to fight. The fights are long, and arduous, but I can kill a lot of these things.

The trick to fighting Podships is to wait until they try to regenerate - it uses all their energy, and it recovers slowly, so they're vulnerable for a few seconds afterwards.

These ships give a lot of RUs, at least.

More mining!

More getting caught!

I am Dugee. I am the purity monitor. I choose what buds are permitted to mature, and which must be eradicated. I died of general misfunction 57,283 years ago.

A cold rock, spinning silently in the Void, a womb for the Children.
Juffo-Wup fills in my fibers and I grow turgid. Violent action ensues.

A slow ship can slingshot past a planet to reach high speeds, and maintain them as long as they keep drifting. The AI knows how to do this.

My crew is getting sparse.

One more planet, then I'm out of this place.


Never seen one of these before.

Despite the oceans of magma on the surface, it's quite cool. The only danger is the massive, ceaseless earthquakes.

What's this thing supposed to be?




---- END OF REPORT ----

Time to get the hell out of here.

No news.

The analysis reads as follows:
SUBJECT: Mycon Egg Case.
DATA: We really didn't know Mycon came from eggs, but our analysis of this sheath shows that it has been subjected to phenomenal temperatures and pressures. The most unusual aspect of the egg case is its size... we know Mycons range in height from .5 to 3.5 meters, but our reconstruction of the whole egg case shows it to be over 25 meters high!
SUMMARY: If a Mycon came out of this, it's gotta be really big.
That's the end of our scientists' report.

Expanding fleet!

Upgrading the Heart of Gold! We're up to 3 Shiva Furnaces now, and one of the Ion-Bolt Guns was upgraded to a Fusion Blaster.

The war between the Ilwrath and the Thraddash is really taking a toll. So, let's talk about new destinations!