The Let's Play Archive

The You Testament 2

by Daeren

Part 2: Can't Catch A Break

Update 2: Can't Catch A Break

Welcome back. It's time to visit Muhammad's wife.

Now, here's something weird. In every game I've ever done, the scantily clad blond chick follows me everywhere after I meet her in Mecca. So, get used to seeing her. Also, you see the guy in the lower right clutching his eyes? There's three or four people in here that appear to have come down with Exploding Eyes Syndrome. They keep wandering around blind and clutching their poor, useless eyes, tripping, getting up, and doing it all over again.

Needless to say, it made taking screenshots much more interesting than usual.

I saw and heard things I can't even find the words to describe! Ideas that could change the world.

I am still incredibly pleased with how well the Apocalypse face mod came out. It's the expression on my face through most of this.

NPCs have only a few set stances while they speak, which they switch from line to line. "Testing the wind's direction" never really gets old.

You can't force people to believe you. You have to practice what you preach and make its value clear.

Watch out for the ledge, blindy!

Err...Khadijah, look behind you.

Surah 93:1-11 posted:

1. By the Glorious Morning Light,
2. And by the Night when it is still,-
3. Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.
4. And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.
5. And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherwith) thou shalt be well-pleased.
6. Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?
7. And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.
8. And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.
9. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,
10. Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard);
11. But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!

Hadith 1:3 posted:

(the mother of the faithful believers) The commencement of the Divine Inspiration to Allah's Apostle was in the form of good dreams which came true like bright day light, and then the love of seclusion was bestowed upon him. He used to go in seclusion in the cave of Hira where he used to worship (Allah alone) continuously for many days before his desire to see his family. He used to take with him the journey food for the stay and then come back to (his wife) Khadija to take his food like-wise again till suddenly the Truth descended upon him while he was in the cave of Hira. The angel came to him and asked him to read. The Prophet replied, "I do not know how to read. The Prophet added, "The angel caught me (forcefully) and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it any more. He then released me and again asked me to read and I replied, 'I do not know how to read.' Thereupon he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it any more. He then released me and again asked me to read but again I replied, 'I do not know how to read (or what shall I read)?' Thereupon he caught me for the third time and pressed me, and then released me and said, 'Read in the name of your Lord, who has created (all that exists) has created man from a clot. Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous." (96.1, 96.2, 96.3) Then Allah's Apostle returned with the Inspiration and with his heart beating severely. Then he went to Khadija bint Khuwailid and said, "Cover me! Cover me!" They covered him till his fear was over and after that he told her everything that had happened and said, "I fear that something may happen to me." Khadija replied, "Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your Kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones." Khadija then accompanied him to her cousin Waraqa bin Naufal bin Asad bin 'Abdul 'Uzza, who, during the PreIslamic Period became a Christian and used to write the writing with Hebrew letters. He would write from the Gospel in Hebrew as much as Allah wished him to write. He was an old man and had lost his eyesight. Khadija said to Waraqa, "Listen to the story of your nephew, O my cousin!" Waraqa asked, "O my nephew! What have you seen?" Allah's Apostle described whatever he had seen. Waraqa said, "This is the same one who keeps the secrets (angel Gabriel) whom Allah had sent to Moses. I wish I were young and could live up to the time when your people would turn you out." Allah's Apostle asked, "Will they drive me out?" Waraqa replied in the affirmative and said, "Anyone (man) who came with something similar to what you have brought was treated with hostility; and if I should remain alive till the day when you will be turned out then I would support you strongly." But after a few days Waraqa died and the Divine Inspiration was also paused for a while. Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah Al-Ansari while talking about the period of pause in revelation reporting the speech of the Prophet "While I was walking, all of a sudden I heard a voice from the sky. I looked up and saw the same angel who had visited me at the cave of Hira' sitting on a chair between the sky and the earth. I got afraid of him and came back home and said, 'Wrap me (in blankets).' And then Allah revealed the following Holy Verses (of Quran): 'O you (i.e. Muhammad)! wrapped up in garments!' Arise and warn (the people against Allah's Punishment),... up to 'and desert the idols.' (74.1-5) After this the revelation started coming strongly, frequently and regularly."

That is a SHITLOAD of words to cite just to say "Khadijah took care of him."

Anyways, here begins the very, very annoying trend in this game: ending the cutscene without telling you where to go next. Since there's no map button, you need to either exit and re-enter the game to look at the map or blunder into a loading screen and hope you're going the right way. Sometimes, events are one after another in the same area, and it doesn't really seem like there should be another event, so you leave the area to see the cross in the area you just came from. Considering that the game's loading times are exorbitantly long for how shitty the game is, this ceases to be amusing very quickly.

In this case, we're going to be heading for Mecca, since Muhammad decides to head there at warp speed when we leave Rabigh. Also, we've picked up the crazy meth addict pictured in our entourage.

We come back to the MDickie Monolith to see Muhammad preachin' it.

I am an ordinary man like any of you, but I was permitted to 'know what most men know not.' My message is important. Do not reject it because it comes through a fallible messenger!

Barbra Streisand's on the offense again.

There is only ONE true God - and you put your relationship with him in jeopardy with this nonsense!

....tourists? Seriously, MDickie? That's the best word you can come up with? Not pilgrims, or devotees, or travelers? TOURISTS? The Kaaba apparently was the world's first highway-side tourist trap! Come see the two-headed pig fetus! Free "I kissed the Black Stone of the Kaaba" T-Shirts!

...what is that guy doing?

You just said yourself your only concern is money! You dignify any superstition that is profitable. People worship everything BUT the one true God! What kind of God can be confined to a shrine or statue? The REAL God is EVERYWHERE! He's closer to you than your jugular vein. Why look outside of yourselves?

Muhammad wants to tear down our society and rebuild it in his own image! He has gone too far this time. At first we found your rhetoric amusing, but now it seems you're a rabid dog that needs to be put down...

Surah25:3-9 posted:

3. Yet have they taken, besides him, gods that can create nothing but are themselves created; that have no control of hurt or good to themselves; nor can they control death nor life nor resurrection.
4. But the misbelievers say: "Naught is this but a lie which he has forged, and others have helped him at it." In truth it is they who have put forward an iniquity and a falsehood.
5. And they say: "Tales of the ancients, which he has caused to be written: and they are dictated before him morning and evening."
6. Say: "The (Qur'an) was sent down by Him who knows the mystery (that is) in the heavens and the earth: verily He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
7. And they say: "What sort of an apostle is this, who eats food, and walks through the streets? Why has not an angel been sent down to him to give admonition with him?
8. "Or (Why) has not a treasure been bestowed on him, or why has he (not) a garden for enjoyment?" The wicked say: "Ye follow none other than a man bewitched."
9. See what kinds of comparisons they make for thee! But they have gone astray, and never a way will they be able to find!

Holy shit, an accurate citation. Color me surprised. Yet he already used 25:4 earlier when it didn't fit.

So, you know how I mentioned it was going to be really important soon that Muhammad is coded to be invincible?

That's because everyone in the area starts to beat the shit out of him at this point.

If you stand near Muhammad long enough, the next event triggers, but if you actually try to do the 'logical' thing and distract the attackers by walloping the hell out of them, the event won't trigger and Muhammad's face will look like something out of The Thing when it does.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Nothing is worth this much aggravation. Even if Allah does exist, he seems to have deserted me now. I haven't had a revelation since the first one. Take me back to Khadijah. The only life that awaits me now is the life of a family man...

Surah 17:41 posted:

41. We have explained (things) in various (ways) in this Qur'an, in order that they may receive admonition, but it only increases their flight (from the Truth)!

Two in a row! Hot damn!

This is a good a place as any to put this.

MDickie posted:

For the purposes of exposition, YOU are the first person to encounter Muhammad up Mount Hira when it was in fact his wife Khadijah. His desire to preach straightaway is also an invention to kick-start the game. In reality, he cowered from public life for years on end before gradually sharing his experiences. Even then, he did so with his family first and not the general public. The events featured in the game panned out over a period of 22 years in real life, so a condensed timeline had to be employed!

In reality, a man called Abu Bakr and Muhammad's son-in-law Ali were his "closest companions". Your fictitious character must take their place in order to drive the story along. There is a riff on the difference between Sunni and Shi'ite Muslims towards the end when people bicker about whether to revere you or a blood relative of Muhammad.

Ha ha ha, because joking about bloody, deep seated violence between religious factions is fucking hilarious, am I right? Oh MDickie, you lovable cad.

I can actually give him a pass on the first point though.

Well, let's take ol' Muhammad back to his wife and let him piece his thoughts together and start preaching again in a few yea-

Oh shit.

Yellow-hatted-lady, by the way, has started to follow us too.


It seems that suffering is not something to be 'avoided.' Rather, it is a 'test' that needs to be overcome. I was given the image of a butterfly taking to the skies after shedding its life as a caterpillar. A struggle in this life is followed by freedom in the hereafter. That's where Khadijah is now. The timing is no coincidence. It is I who must also embrace the suffering before me. Leave me to bury my wife and meet me later on Mount Hira. It's time for you to see the world as I do...

Surah3:140 posted:

140. If a wound hath touched you, be sure a similar wound hath touched the others. Such days (of varying fortunes) We give to men and men by turns: that Allah may know those that believe, and that He may take to Himself from your ranks Martyr-witnesses (to Truth). And Allah loveth not those that do wrong.

Well, that's a big downer. Here's what MDickie has to say!

MDickie posted:

Although Muhammad was devoted to Khadijah while she was alive, he went on to have numerous other wives - most notably the young Aisha who survived him by a great many years and was key to preserving his legacy. All of these subsequent wives are omitted from the game entirely so that I could concentrate on his spiritual transformation. However, there is one scene where he accepts a widow as his wife out of mercy when many males die. This is to demonstrate the logic behind his stance on multiple wives.

Muhammad had many children who are not acknowledged in the game. Again, this is because I didn't want his domestic life to impinge on the game's spiritual message. I also didn't relish dealing with the fact that most of them died.

So, "I'm lazy and don't want to address a huge aspect of his life that undoubtedly effected his spiritual transformation. Also I am a wimp who doesn't want to deal with death."

At this point, a brawl broke out over the body, with me in the middle of it. I punched a guy in the face trying to get out, and this happened.

Uh oh.

Err. That guy's hands are on fire...

I was distracted by the Dark Lord apparently walking the earth and got sucker punched from behind by a Quraysh guard.

Good lord, look at that neckbeard! And those evil red eyes!