The Let's Play Archive

The You Testament

by General Ironicus

Part 14: The Beginning of the End

Chapter 13: The Beginning of the End

Previously, on All My Prophets...

It looks like our heroes are in dire straights. If only there was a way to come down from the cross...

Oh look there is. If you ever get crucified meditate as soon as you can. This holds for the game and real life. The cutscene almost drained all my health before I could come down.

At least you get to keep the nails as a consolation prize.

This is one of the strangest things in the game to me. After following Jesus like a lost puppy all over the holy land the camera has to move just to make sure you get the point.

At the Last Supper (which never happened now) Jesus predicted one of his disciples (out of one) would deny him three times before the cock crows (which wasn't a sound effect in the game before I added one). Even in this game I feel a duty to follow scripture, so Chuckie B answers in the negative.

I see, it was the Imperious Curse all along. Truly Jesus deserved to be hung.

The next bit is also frustrating. Because some things have to happen to continue the story, but MDickie didn't program ways for them to happen, you have to leave the map and turn around to advance the story. I waited forever for someone to talk to me before leaving only to see Mega Man was still on the same square.

What are we going to do with his body? We can't afford to bury him in a proper tomb!

I know you don't know me, but I admired Jesus from afar. It would be an honor to help him.

"I admired him from afar. I only got close when pounding nails into his still living flesh" real stand up guy there.

Here lies Gokesus, may we enjoy the chance to walk all over him as he did to us.

The standing water in The Olive Garden needs to be taken care of. After seeing his mentor killed by his side, Charlie Brown feels a need to protect all life. There could be malaria-spreading mosquitoes in there.

All done.

I was scared of what my peers would think if I got involved with him. Seems foolish now! You don't know how lucky you are Charlie Brown! You got to learn everything from him firsthand.

Since you killed him in agony I'm sure your friends think its all water under the bridge by now, how very foolish. And yes, I feel very lucky receiving all his browbeating and navigating his hypocrisy in person, thank you.

This whole time I've still been looking for a person to help demonstrate the new healing power. Finally an opportunity presents itself:

Tah-Daaaaaaah! An eyeball! The eagle-eyed among you will also notice that my red health went back to green. This power allows you to rearrange your own molecules. The next bit of plot also requires leaving for a second and popping back. Apparently making a stone move is beyond even the mystical coding powers of MDickie.

I suppose you want to get your hands on the body so that you can claim Jesus didn't die after all? Well its not going to happen! I've been assigned especially to make sure nothing strange takes place.

This guy is a one-man anti-truther brigade.

You may notice that we don't have all the powers but the guy that teaches them to us is dead. I believe getting yourself crucified after a certain point is a plot fast-forward. I won't be playing this game again to find out because I hate it and I want off. I plan on keeping going until the game stops me and I'll find a way to show off all the powers, but this will not be complete. It doesn't deserve it.