Part 68: Homura route, chapter 4: The queen's ireHomura route, chapter 4: The queen's ire
10/26: Goon's birthday
Goon: Oh, hey Homura.
Homura: Happy birthday. Here, it's your present.
Goon: What? Really? Thanks, Homura!
Homura: I'm glad you're excited.
Homura: Feel free to look forward to what's inside. I have awesome taste.
Goon: Uh, okay.
Goon: (Homura's taste, eh. I'm a little scared now.)
The game never tells you what's in the box.
10/29: Homura vs. the Asteroid
Homura: Goon. Over here!
Goon: Sorry, Homura. Did I keep you waiting?
Homura: It doesn't matter, let's have some fun. I'm itching to get started.
I don't wanna cloooose my eeeeeyes, I don't wanna goooo to sleeeeep
Goon: That movie was awesome, wasn't it?
Homura: Yeah, it was so good I wanna see it again.
Homura: I'm super hungry. Let's get something to eat.
Goon: Yeah, sure.
Homura: Alright, let's get moving.
Homura: Wanna stop by this place and kick back a little?
Goon: At this cafe? Sure, I don't mind. I'm pretty hungry too.
Homura: Cool, let's get a table.
Homura: Hurry up and order, I've already figured out what I want.
Goon: That was fast. What'd you decide on, curry?
Homura: Nah, not a rice dish, that's too heavy.
Homura: I went with spaghetti and the sandwich sampler. That's lighter, right?
Goon: (What's lighter about that?)
Homura: Plus a hot dog and karaage.
Goon: (There's more?!)
Homura: Then after that, some pancakes and ice cream.
Homura: And to top it all off, I'm getting the jumbo parfait.
Goon: I, uh, I think I'm good just getting coffee.
Goon: (Just listening to you made me feel full.)
11/3: Shooting games at the school festival
Goon: I should invite Homura to see the school festival with me.
Homura: Huh, something wrong?
Goon: Want to go see the demonstrations with me?
Homura: Yeah, sure, it's better than going alone.
Goon: (So, where should we go?)
This year, the science-club-turned-computer club, headed by none other than Homura's archnemesis Mei, is the best option for Homura. The Cinderella story is a bit too dull for her tastes, and the brass band or tea ceremony are right out.
Homura: Whoa! They have a shooting game!
Homura: Go try it.
Space Ring Fighter is a very basic side-scrolling shooting game. Dodge bullets, shoot in a straight line, beat a boss at the end.
However, at some point in the last few years, I stopped being any good at shooting games. I blame this LP. Maybe I should dust off my copy of Radiant Silvergun...
Homura: Well, your fundamentals aren't bad, but you're nowhere near as good as me.
Homura: My turn now!
3 minutes of watching the game play itself later, Homura proves that she is as good at this game as she claimed.
Homura: And that's how it's done.
Goon: That was awesome.
Homura: That was a fun festival.
Homura: And since I'm saying it, that means it's true!
Goon: (It was definitely fun.)
11/5: A small aside
In the interests of time, I'm cutting a lot of the bomb warnings - and let me tell you, there were a ton of them. But for some reason, after one date with Akane, no one would go out with Goon anymore. Not Kotoko, not Miyuki, not even Hikari! The only person who didn't refuse a date with Goon after a bomb warning was Kaedeko, mostly because it's physically impossible for her to go on a date with Goon at this point.
11/27: Tempting fate
Goon: (Time to head home.)
Homura: Yo, you look bored. Wanna hang out?
There is an event that you can get that only happens when you call Homura something she doesn't like. It's kind of masochistic, but also funny.
Goon: Hey, Homura-chan. Hmmm...
This face lasts for about 10 frames, just long enough for you to say "oh crap".
Homura: DON'T CALL ME THAT!
Goon: (I guess that was the wrong thing to say...)
This event also resets your form of address to the default Akai-san until you can fix it with another after-school event. For the sake of convenience, though, I'm just going to keep using Homura.
85th: Sakaki Takumi
104th: Hokari Jun'ichirou
113th: Hinomoto Hikari
127th: Fudou Gunma
148th: Minazuki Kotoko
247th: Kotobuki Miyuki
281st: Akai Homura
285th: Ichimonji Akane
Goon: Hey, Homura.
Homura: You hear? I flunked!
Goon: Wow, Homura. I really respect you for talking about your own failures in public like this.
Homura: Wait, you mean--you mean you didn't flunk too?
Goon: I didn't.
Homura: This--this isn't happening! This can't be happening!
Homura: Noooo, I was tricked!
Goon: (Geez, that was insulting.)
12/16: Those aren't ski goggles, Homura
Presented without comment: Homura in winter.
Homura: Whoa, it's a winter wonderland out here. Good thing there's enough to ski on.
Option 1: Yeah, that's for sure.
Option 2: Who cares, let's start skiing!
Option 3: Ack! My eyes, I'm blind!
As is common on the Homura route, the best option is to suppress your dating game instincts and appeal to Homura as a person.
Goon: Who cares, let's start skiing!
Homura: You're right! There's snow, it'd be rude not to take advantage of it!
Goon: (I made a pretty good impression.)
12/24: The least eventful Christmas in any Tokimemo
Homura doesn't show up to the Ijuuin Christmas party, partially because she doesn't fit in, and partially because she doesn't like Mei. Takumi and Hikari show up, so that's a thing.
Miyuki's hair is really the only thing of note. It seems like it's capable of independent flight.
1/1: A new year and a new look
Hikari's new year's card is the same as always, and I'm also going to skip Takumi's and Jun's.
Goon: This is Kotobuki-san's card. It's a flashy kind of card, just like she is.
Happy new year!
There's something so nice about a fresh year.
Let's go into the new year with gusto!
The two comments in green next to the scarf-clad alien are "Grey" and "The start of the 21st century!". No, I don't know why Miyuki's Grey is rendered in bright yellow.
Goon: This is Homura's card.
Goon: Well, I shouldn't have expected much more from her.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
And this year, who would appear at Goon's door but--
A mysterious stranger!
Goon: Oh, hi Homura. What're you doing here this early?
Homura: Happy new year! May it be full of cheer for both of us.
Goon: Uh, happy new year. I hope for the same thing.
Homura: I came here to say my new year's greetings, and invite you to come out to hatsumoude. Let's go!
Goon: Yeah, I'm in!
Homura: I thought you'd say that. Let's get a move on.
Goon: Alright, lemme go change.
Homura: Make it quick.
Goon: Thanks for waiting.
Goon: By the way, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing a haregi today.
Homura: Well, you know, it just sorta turned out that way.
Option 1: You wear it well.
Option 2: It really suits you. You look cute.
Option 3: I guess it's true what they say, anyone can look good with the right clothes.
Translation note: option 3 here is a Japanese saying that literally translates to "Even a packhorse driver can look good in the right outfit." It's a lot less insulting than a similar English idiom, "lipstick on a pig", but some people can still take offense to it.
Fans of the Tales series may know it as a title and costume for Sheena, though it was translated to the much less idiomatic "You look great!" in the English version--probably for character count issues more than anything else.
Goon: It really suits you. You look cute.
Homura: D, don't call me cute!
Homura: What the hell are you saying, geez...
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)
Goon: Let's get going.
Homura: Look at this mass of kimonos.
Homura: It takes a lot of courage to throw yourself into that.
Goon: No kidding. But you've got courage to spare, don't you?
Homura: Of course I do. I'm a hero, after all.
Homura: Let's get in there.
Goon: (Homura's a really easy person to motivate sometimes.)
Homura: Hey, we should pull our fortunes while we're here.
Goon: Yeah, good idea.
Homura: That's the spirit.
Homura: Don't be shocked when you see how good I am at this.
Goon: (How can someone be good at this?)
Goon: Let's see, my fortune for the year is...
Goon: Suekichi, good fortune to come.
Goon: (What did Homura pull?)
Homura: Were you able to get daikichi?
Goon: Well, you can see for yourself. What about you, Homura?
Homura: Who, me? Take a look, daikichi.
Goon: No way!
Goon: (How lucky is she?)
Homura: I'm exhausted after that.
Goon: Yeah, that was a huge crowd.
Homura: Welp, I'm gonna go home, take a bath, and fall asleep. Later.
Goon: (I should do the same thing myself.)
1/8: To the aquarium, for penguin justice!
Oh, she does own an umbrella.
Homura: Holy crap, it's cold. Why're we going to the aquarium on a day like this?
Goon: Well, uh, I'll get something that'll help warm you up, just a sec.
Homura: Hey, that's nice of you. Thanks.
Goon: Huh? Did she go inside already?
Goon: Hey, tell me next time if you're just gonna go ahead of me.
Goon: Hello? Earth to Homura.
Homura: Huh? What? Oh, that was fast.
Goon: So, you love penguins?
Homura: What? No! No way! Who could possibly like those little squirts?
Goon: You were off in your own little world just a second ago.
Homura: Sh, shut up. Let's get out of here.
Goon: (You know, you do kind of resemble each other.)
2/3: Praised by Homura for a perfect week... kind of
Goon's had perfect weeks before this, but no one's ever complimented him on a job well done at the student council, or on doing exceptionally well in training or anything. No, what Homura cares about is...
Sleep, of course.
Goon: (I slept really well this week.)
Homura: You looked like you were having a great nap.
Homura: You're working too hard.
Homura: Next time, leave some room for me, will ya?
Goon: (I did it!)
Ah, to be young and happy about a week spent sleeping in the nurse's office.
2/14: Valentine's Day, uncomfortable edition
Goon: Hey, Hikari.
Hikari: Here's your giri chocolate. You think you're getting any from anyone else?
Goon: No clue.
Hikari: Don't strain yourself.
Hikari: Even if I'm the only one who gives you something, you'll be happy, right?
Goon: (I have mixed feelings about what just happened.)
Goon: Hey, Homura.
Homura: Sit! Stay!
Goon: Huh? What?
Homura: I'm going to put this chocolate on your nose, but you have to wait until I say the word.
Goon: (Mixed feelings, again.)
Miyuki: Ah! I found you!
Miyuki: You want some chocolate?
Goon: Hi, Kotobuki-san. Sure, I'll have some.
Miyuki: Here you go, then!
Miyuki: Don't read too much into it, though.
Goon: (You don't have to be so blunt about it.)
That was a pretty rough Valentine's Day. Poor Goon.
89th: Fudou Gunma
113th: Sakaki Takumi
123rd: Hokari Jun'ichirou
124th: Hinomoto Hikari
156th: Minazuki Kotoko
248th: Kotobuki Miyuki
294th: Akai Homura
197th: Ichimonji Akane
3/14: White Day
Goon: Hey, Homura!
Homura: Huh. What's up?
Goon: Here, this is my thanks for Valentine's Day.
Homura: Whoa, what? For me? I, I kinda feel bad for making you do this.
Goon: Something wrong, Homura?
Homura: N, nothing!
Goon: (And just like that, she's gone.)
Next time: Beyonce joke goes here