Part 13: Our Twelve Year Old Intern Spent All Night Creating This Character!Our Twelve Year Old Intern Spent All Night Creating This Character!
Welcome back! Last time we helped a little girl peacefully escape slavery, learning the power to dominate others from a slavemaster reknowned for her cruelty and getting altruist points for it.
Now that Rhin is permanently with us we can interrogate her about her life.
: What's your story?
: Where are you from?
: If you let me know what it's called, we can help you find your way home.
: If you're from so far away, why do you speak the same language as everyone here?
: How did you get to Sagus Cliffs?
Go away! GO AWAY!
: Those thugs you were hiding from... they seemed to know you were in the building, but they couldn't find you. Why?
: Did you say 'we' are good at hiding?
: A flash of panic crosses her face. "Me," she says, too quickly.
: Then she sighs and pulls something from her pocket. It's a small, dark stone with a hole in it. She's outside your arm's reach, but she still holds it close to her chest, protectively.
: Can I ask a few questions about your...friend?
This sure is a choice!
: I can't help but notice that he's, well...a rock.
: There's a difference between a rock and a stone?
: Are you trying to distract me so I won't ask about your imaginary friend?
The Slow Regard of Silent Things, Rothfuss's Novella posted:
...I think it's only fair to warn you that this is a bit of a strange story. I don't go in for spoilers, but suffice to say that this one is...different. It doesn't do a lot of the things a classic story is supposed to do. And if you're looking for a continuation of Kvothe's storyline, you're not going to find it here.
On the other hand, if you'd like to learn more about Auri, this story has a lot to offer. If you love words and mysteries and secrets. If you're curious about the Underthing and alchemy. If you want to know more about the hidden turnings of my world....
Well, then this book might be for you.
: So the stone is like his body? Or is it like his house?
: Moving from body to body. It sounds a little familiar.
: Has Ahl always been in a stone?
I think I see where this is going...
: How old is Ahl?
: What does it mean that he's a god?
: Rhin grimaces. "That is a hard question. Where I come from, there are many gods. Gods of health and hearth and home. Gods of road and roam. Where I come from, it's a poor family that has no gods of their own."
The game is never going to figure out what the fuck being a god means in Numenera (Callistege's gimmick is probably enough to qualify her as a minor deity in most settings, yet she makes no claims to being one). It seems...kind of important for a game about being heir to someone called "The Changing God."
: Did you bring Ahl with you from your home?
: You said Ahl was a couple of weeks old, but that you've had him for years. Which is it?
: I just want to make sure you're all right, Rhin.
Hey, hold on! We haven't talked to either of those characters for that sidequest! Get off Gamefaqs, Rhin!
: I think you've gone through a really hard time, Rhin. Sometimes our minds play tricks on us.
: No, that's not what I meant. I'm only trying to make sense of what happened to you.
: Where you come from, does everyone have gods they just carry around with them?
: So you come from a magical peaceful land where gods are just laying around, waiting for people to pick them up?
: What kinds of things do gods help with?
: You said he was a god of hiding. Is that more than advice?
: I want to ask something else about yourself again.
: How long have you been away?
: Do you think your parents might be looking for you?
: Rhin brings her hands to her mouth slowly, her eyes terrified and oddly flat, almost glazed. She turns away from you, speaking to something in her hands, her voice too soft for you to hear.
: She continues like that for a long time, worried and muttering. You realize she has forgotten you are even there.
As Rhin goes to consult with the god of hiding, I can offer you this dialog summary.
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: So, who are you exactly?
: Oh, I ran away after a miscolored fire did a thing to my hometown, but my parents are there totally for real.
: How did you hide from those goons?
: Oh, I have a magic rock god that is the god of hiding.
: I'm sorry, what?
: Yea, this is Ahl. He's a god, kind of like the Changing God, if the Changing God were shitty and not a powerful sorcerer with a space station, an army of robots, and the ability to genocide those who displeased him. He's been with me for years.
: Huh. And he lives in a rock?
: No, it's a stone because of Patrick Rothfuss' love of twee bullshit. He's only a few weeks old.
: Uh, ok. Wait, how long has he been with you again?
: I don't know. Where I come from everyone has gods.
: So in this setting of space stations, aliens, and powerful technology, what is a god exactly? What does a god do that technology can't? The Changing God could create life, and he's just a dude who is good at science.
: I'm ten years old! I can't answer that! Am I crazy? Even the sidequest man we haven't met thinks I'm crazy.
: Hell if I know, we live in Numenera. Are your parents looking for you?
: Shit shit shit shit fuck!
: What a strange young lady.
Alright, because the thread wanted max Rothfuss I'm gonna lay out my thesis on Rhin here. Rhin is Auri from the Kingkiller "trilogy", but aged 10 and without the rape backstory. Both of them are elusive young women with magically induced memory/mental health problems who anthropomorphize ordinary objects (Ahl the rock god, Foxen the magic flashlight) and are prone to describing ordinary situations in whimsical ways. Rhin is less annoying than Auri on the whole, but Auri has enough of a fanbase that she not only got a terrible novella written about her, but appears in World of Warcraft for some reason. As the goal of this game is not to create anything new, but to desperately appeal to nerds for that hot, hot nerd money, Rothfuss and Auri are absolutely perfect for the job.
Anyway, I promised you all robo-daddy action so here it is. We need to go to the Underbelly.
Hey, Ali G, what's up?
That's very rude.
We talk to this guy. I really don't want to transcribe it, but he is one of three lost robots down here - himself, the Artisan, and the Crippled Foreman - who used to work for a civilization called the Cartographers before getting pressed into running the infrastructure for Sagus Cliffs. There is some "humor" where he talks about those dumb humans taking poop and fuck breaks, and where he insists the other two don't count because they aren't the same as him. There's some flashback shit for 2 XP, and we get Blue Tide points. I don't care and you don't care, so let's cut to the good shit.
Yup, it's Yet Another Trolley Problem Sidequest. Let's go talk to the Foreman.
: These tiny things are your children?
: "Not anymore," it says. "Now, they are inanimate and lifeless. Their adaptive personalities have been lost. I do not understand why they are dying."
: You know wanting isn't enough.
: I want to help you. How do I begin?
: Can I examine you?
: "Yes," it says. "Tarnish, open my preservation hatches and viaduct shields, please."
: The elderly workman shuffles over and does as he's asked.
: Why do you want children?
:"Need," the construct says. "Not want."
: Its pupils study the distant ceiling. "When I was born, I began working in seconds. I did this until our creators shut down our bodies. In the millennia since, I have focused on designing the infrastructure beneath the other foremen's work and instructing workers on how to execute on these designs."
: Its pupils fall back to you. "Eventually, I realized I was unhappy."
: You seem very... dispassionate about your failures to create children.
: Can you tell me about how you and the other Foremen came to be like this?
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: I must die so I can have children. Will you help me?
: Sure. Why not?
: Excellent. I want children so I can teach them.
: I see a flaw in this plan.
: Order of Truth, away!
We go to the Order of Truth, and meet the NPC responsible for naming this update. First, we talk to the old worker guy. He thinks this is dumb and that we shouldn't kill his friend.
Rhin and Callistege have a short conversation on the way, where Rhin asks how many Callisteges there are, gets the above reply, and says her head hurts more now. Ok.
...I should not google "Callistege fanfiction," should I?
Oh look, a space alien. I guess that's...different?
: Tell me about yourself.
I'm not going to dignify this.
You know what? I'm just gonna get what we need from Weinstein over here and get the fuck out.
: One of the Foremen is trying to transfer energy into its children, but they keep dying. Do you think you can help?
: Here's the money.
We have to select a bunch of technobabble from a menu three times. I'm cutting it.
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Greetings. May I tell you about the fucking of my people?
: Holy jesus shit fuck no. Can you fix this dumb robot that's trying to have kids so I can get XP?
: I can after some technobabble.
: Thanks, bye. Gonna shower now. Was that supposed to be funny? Did the devs think that was funny?
Back to robo-daddy.
: It should bypass the part of you that is preventing you from creating offspring.
We click the Lore: Machinery option.
I just find it hilarious that the 10-year-old child has a 70% chance to successfully operate ancient AI technology.
I also don't want to give a kid anything Sn'erf touched.
Thanks Tybir. I owe you some soap or something.
We just killed Tarnish's friend, but it's OK because we got 25 XP! Yay!
So we can take all the little robots and turn them into consumable items we murder for temporary buffs. I just take the dead robot, which we can sell for money and maybe buy a gauss rifle or something good.
: Ah, how lovely. I do hope no one steps on them.
Even though Aligern isn't in the party, it still pans all the way to his nerd store so we can get this line. Thanks, devs!
Callistege levels up and gets more evil power. She becomes phased every time she teleports, so this is basically free damage.
We grab her Flash and Datasphere Link. Flash is an AoE attack which deals physical damage, but in the hands of Callistege it flips to transdimensional. Datasphere link gives the party knowledge bonuses. Entropic Field is a cone that strips Armor and Resistance, which I've never found as useful as just throwing Flash at them. Certainly not if you're playing a Nano, at that point all your damage will eventually be relativistic.
Join us next time as we deal with that wacky murderous ghost girl and maybe get a laser gun!