IntroductionAlternate Thread Titles
- "Uwe Boll published a video game guys. I'm not joking."
- "I'm regretting buying this game now, alright? All across the board!"
- "RIP Replay Studios (gone but never forgotten be happy at rainbow bridge)"
- "Let's Play Velvet Assassin!"
Previous LPs of Terrible Games
- The Real Adventures of Vietnam! Let's Play Shellshock 2: Blood Trails (2010)
- Rogue Warrior: "Killing Cock-Breathed Commie Motherfuckers Since 1986" (2010)
Tunnel Rats is a first-person shooter video game developed by Replay Studios, who you may (or may not) remember for developing Crashday and Velvet Assassin. Tunnel Rats was the studio's last release, before filing for insolvency and shutting down in 2009. Originally intended for release on the Xbox 360, Tunnel Rats is currently available exclusively on Steam; the 360 release having been mysteriously cancelled
Following the events of the Uwe Boll film of the same name - which itself was not based on an existing video game - you play a soldier on a mission to locate members of the original "Tunnel Rat" squad from the film. To this end, you must make your way through a series of sparsely decorated Vietnamese bases and - as the title would imply - tunnel systems filled with a small variety of recycled traps. As you kill enemies and inspect tunnel traps, the player character's inner monologue provides insight into his madness. Whereas the stories of some games might document a character's descent into madness, Pvt. Brooks - the player character - seems to have been a psychopath for some time now, displaying no remorse for killing his enemies and seeming to feign sympathy for his dead allies. His personality is inconsistent, to say the least.
Tunnel Rats is plagued by bland visuals, broken controls, and repetitive environments / enemies / traps. I would go as far as to say it is goddamn near unplayable. That being said, it also boasts some of the most unintentionally hilarious voice acting this side of the original Resident Evil. It is almost impossible to take the attempts at "setting mood" intentionally, since they are almost immediately spoiled by Pvt. Brooks' constantly running inner monologue. As if that weren't enough, specific moments in the game have you hallucinate, as represented by tinted JPG overlays that pan and fade in front of the screen.
In the interest of showing off this aforementioned hilarity, and bringing awareness of this almost completely unnoticed release to the world, I will be playing through / commenting over the entirety of the game - "Let's Playing" it, if you will. Having learned their lessons from previous LPs of mine, none of my co-commentators wish to have any part in this project. As such, I will be commenting on the game as I play it, all on my lonesome.
Will I survive the horrors of the Vietnam war, or will I too descend into madness?
Cool Stuff from Cool Duders
- By Coleman Francis