The Let's Play Archive

Umineko no Naku Koro ni Chiru

by ProfessorProf

Part 32: Tea Party



BGM: Bread of Life

"Yes, my master."
"You CALLED?"
"...I want you two to stay in this Fragment and explain everything in the remaining 1st through 4th games. That pitiful transient witch who claims the Illusion of the Witch is true no longer exists herself. Expose the frank truth thoroughly."
"*giggle*! Leave it to me, my master. There is no riddle that I, Furudo Erika, cannot solve."
"...Of course. That's why you're my piece, my double. *giggle*giggle*giggle*!"

Bernkastel wore a massive... and horrible smile, which Erika shared. Beatrice's Illusion of the Witch would disappear, and the results in all of the previous games would be painted over. It had been crushed in every way possible, and only the frank truth remained. Such a weak truth was no better than fish on the chopping board for Erika...



"*giggle*... You mustn't leave even a single Fragment of Beato's Legend of the Witch behind."
"The rumors among the servants, the way people talked about unexplained events as though that legend was the cause, the Illusion of the Witch that worked alongside the illusion of Kinzo. Deal with all of them completely."
"Of course. I'll get to it right away. We now have the furniture in custody. We're hurrying to identify their vessels."

The Seven Sisters of Purgatory had already been taken into custody. Those noisy sisters who had served Beato now faced nothing but denial. What sort of illusion were they based upon which allowed them to 'manifest'?

...Everything would be exposed... and denied.



"The 1960's? The Seven Sisters of Purgatory are <Made in USA>? Pfft, *giggle*giggle*giggle*... Even though they bragged about being furniture connected with King Solomon and serving a thousand year old witch, they're a total sham. Who was it...?"
"According to the report, there's this group of big-time swindlers who make money by selling fakes to rich fans of the occult."
"Because the deceived millionaires try to resell the fakes as though they were real, there's a chance that they've been falsely deified by enthusiasts in the FIELD. We are rushing to find confirmation and further DETAILS."
"So Ushiromiya Kinzo was a sucker who'd pay big bucks for any fake occult object."
"...*giggle*giggle*, ahahahahahahahaha...!! And that's what the Seven Sisters of Purgatory really are...? That's so weird, ahahahahahhhahahahahhahahahha!! A total sham, just like Beato's Illusion of the Witch."
"Though they call themselves the seven deadly sins, they're actually cheap, fake souvenirs. Well, from the very beginning, I figured they were nothing more than paperweights sold at some shady souvenir shop."
"*giggle*giggle*!! Paperweights...! Ahhahhahhahahahahahahahahahaha!! Have you confronted the Seven Sisters with that truth yet?"
"No, not YET."
"They still seriously believe that they were created by a great sorcerer over a thousand years ago. I'd like to confront them with perfect evidence and the truth right away and let them know that they're mere paperweights, worth less than 30 US dollars."
"When you do, I wonder what their faces will look like... as they lose all hope. *giggle*, I can't wait. Call for me when that happens. I'll come to watch, with some of the best black tea and dried plums."

Beato's Illusion of the Witch had already been penetrated, and it was proven that everything was simply the result of human delusions. What kind of delusions created them, and what caused these in the first place? When that was proven perfectly and shoved in the faces of those concerned... The illusion would vanish and be completely annihilated. This is what they meant... by 'execution'.

"...An execution is not a SHOW. As a general rule, it is not made PUBLIC."
"This is an inspection by the Great Lady Bernkastel, member of the senate, so she can observe that the Great Court is performing its duties satisfactorily. Do you, as a mere Inquisitor of Heresy, wish to block this...?"
"Yeah, that's right. I'm just observing as a representative of the senate to make sure you observe the proper procedures when you carry out your work. *giggle*giggle*giggle*."
"We are currently preparing to take Virgilia, Ronove, and Gaap into custody as well. The Chiester Sisters Imperial Guards are conducting that investigation. Of course, we will then detain and execute those three connected to Beatrice."
"Dlanor. What is the true nature of the Chiester Sisters?"
"...We believe there is a high likelihood that their vessels are weapons used in the CRIME. For this purpose, Senior Aide Gertrude has formed a special TEAM. We are currently investigating all CASES."
"I'm looking forward to the Chiester Sisters' execution too...! One at a time? Or all of them at once?"
"No one's stupid enough to put an entire can of tea leaves in a pot at once. You've got to enjoy it slowly, one spoonful at a time."
"*giggle*giggle*! Exactly. Let's have their executions on consecutive days. For the furniture and the witches, one by one. I'll send you an execution show every day."



"...Maybe we can let them decide which ones to execute first. Heheheheheheheheh! Make sure you think up something great for the execution concept. I'd like to enjoy executions both old and new, from east and west every day."
"...The rules state that the method of execution is to follow Great Court REGULATIONS."
"Leave it to me, my master. I will most certainly prepare you a fascinating execution show!"
"At the very least, you've got to quarter one of them."
"Of course. I shall make a list of the best forms of execution from all countries, from Europe to Asia, which were used by kingdoms east and west for nothing less than treason against the king!"
"...I'd like to think of some execution methods myself. Pondering that will be the perfect way to relax on those sleepless nights. *giggle*. I'll iron out my ideas and send you a letter soon."
"Certainly, my master. Then we'll have the Bernkastel-style one as the grand finale."
"...At the very, very end, when all of the illusions are broken and Beato's magical compendium has been completely crushed, I shall present my master with the finest execution she desires... the execution of Beatrice...!"



"Y, your words are too good for me...! My master...!!"
"Erika, I will give you honor and a reward. It's the greatest symbol of Beatrice, the portrait from the reception hall. Take that off, smash it to make firewood, bake a cake with that and eat it. After that, I'll allow you to put your portrait up in the remaining frame."



BGM: Happiness of Marionette - Omake

"...Th, thank you very much...! It is a great honor...!"
"...You will eradicate and erase Beatrice's name and all traces of her. Until that is all finished, I will order that you be made the master of this sealed-off Rokkenjima."
"...By the name of the Witch of Miracles, Bernkastel, I proclaim that you will be given the rank of witch until that day. From now on, you will call yourself Erika, the Witch of Truth."



Even though she was nothing more than a piece, she was being granted the honor of calling herself a witch like her master, if only for a brief stretch of time... Erika was so moved that her actions had been acknowledged in this greatest form that she trembled...

"Dlanor, continue to aid Erika and report on her progress to me."
"...As you WISH."
"...By the way, where's Lambda?"
"She is over THERE."

From the guest seating on the second floor, she pointed downwards. Lambdadelta... could be seen beneath Battler, who hung there, dead and pierced by the red longsword.



BGM: About Face

"What a wonderful way to die. Erika! You can hang Battler's corpse in the mansion's reception hall. The next time I come to visit this Fragment, welcome me in front of it."
"Certainly, my master. I'll make that foolish man an eternal monument to my master's victory!"
"*giggle*, that sounds wonderful. Really tasteful. Maybe you can coat him with plaster and make a beautiful white statue. And it'd be wonderful if you decorated him all cute!"
"Yes, Lady Lambdadelta. I will strive to answer to your expectations...!"
"Congratulations on becoming a witch. Though it will just be for a while, I'll welcome you as a friend."

Erika was so overcome with emotion that tears came to her eyes. Because for a piece, no greater pleasure exists than having your work acknowledged by your master.



"Galaxy Express?"
"The one that isn't 'Night on the-'."
"...You know, I read that back when I wasn't a witch. I always thought it strange that humans who obtained eternal life would become so cruel. At the time, I honestly couldn't relate."
"...After becoming a witch and living a thousand years, I fully understand it. That writer could understand our cruelty really well, in the truest sense. *giggle*giggle*!"
"...Where will you go next? I'll bet we say farewell with our backs turned, right?"
"That's because I don't want to let you get bored."
"Thanks, Bern. But you can be sure that I'll count to a hundred and then start searching for you again."
"You really don't let a person get bored. That's why I like you, love you. Let's meet again somewhere. However, we may not be reunited for another hundred or thousand years... if ever."
"That's alright. The sea of Fragments is tiny to a pair who love each other."
"The Third Man?"
"No, Children of Paradise of course."
"...If each time you smashed one of those countless Fragments that glitter like a starry night, you could escape the poison of just a single evening's worth of boredom, even you would want to count the stars in the sky."
"Ooh, not bad... pfft, *giggle*giggle*...!"



The tiny, tiny Fragment created by the human known as Beatrice... had now been gobbled up by the two witches... and had lost its glitter. The two who had earlier called themselves rivals in front of Beato... now stopped that charade and laughed together playfully.



"Yes, it's the 6th game."
"Decide the title for Episode 6 yourself. After all, you're already the spinner of this tale, as well as the Master."
"Thank you very much. Actually, I've already decided on one."
"...Oh, already? Then let me hear it. What kind of title is it?"
"Yes. Episode 6, Heheheheh, I'd really like to tease you a bit, but I'll tell you."
"*giggle*! Come on, stop being a smartass and tell us. A newbie witch like you shouldn't be teasing your seniors!"