The Let's Play Archive

Valkyria Chronicles 2

by The Flying Twybil

Part 37: Avan Gets Owned By A 13 Year Old Again

Update 31: Avan Gets Owned By A 13 Year Old Again

Welcome back to animeland, folks. It's time to resume the main story.

This will be a very basic update for the most part, so I'll slide in a daily update at the end.

If that's not enough for you, then direct your complaints towards this game. I am not a licensed representative of this animeland.

----

~ Training Grounds - Main Story Event ~

Music: Everyday Life of the Class




Yes, they do this awkward thing where they put her sprite in the distance in order to show she's not actually as big as everyone else.



: A ball?
: Is there an echo in-- Wait, you don't know what a ball is?
: Okay, here. I'll teach you soccer!
: Her who? Who do I sock?
: Just watch and learn. You kick the ball. Like... this!

*Punting noise*



: Now you give it a try. Just lightly, to start.
: Okay! ...Yah!



This picture would be nicer if it didn't remind us of what murder kid here is wearing underneath that.

: Ah ha ha ha!
: Owww... I said to kick it LIGHTLY!
: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
: Gah, you gave me a nose-bleed, you little monster!



: Uhh, yeah? Soccer balls are usually just black and white, Cosette.

Not in your time period, they aren't. It's a really minor thing to nitpick, but those weren't introduced until the 70's.




: Dude, it's my blood! Can't you see my nose? You know, the huge, red fountain?
: Ah ha... ha. Sorry. I was just surprised.



: Yup! It's fun!
: The game's not about pegging people. Let's play for real next time.
: Play? What's play?
: Er, well... Hmm. It's when you get together with other people and--



Oh, you thought they were going to let this go?



: Look, you had fun kicking the ball, right?
: Yeah!
: Well, getting together with folks and having fun WITHOUT killing them?
: That's playing. I feel like playing's a lot more important that fighting.
: Hm...



: Yay! That sounds great! I'll sock them all with the ball!
: That's NOT how you play!



Twybil's Summary posted:

: Let's play soccer!
: I don't know what a ball is! Who do I sock?
: Here, just kick the ball like this.
: Yay!

*Caves in Avan's face with the ball*

: OW FUCK
: Yay!
: GOD THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE
: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE BALL- AAAAAAAA
: Calm down, would you? It's coming out of the gaping hole of where I used to have cartilage.
: Oh, okay. You two having fun?
: What is this..."fun" you speak of? What is "play"?
: It's when you have a good time, and the other is having fun with others.
: PEOPLE ARE ONLY GOOD FOR MURDER
: Whoa! The fuck happened to your education? Listen, you can have fun without killing people!
: I... I must process this...
: Why don't we all play together next time?
: Yes! I will destroy all of their noses!
: That's not soccer!

----

I think that event was perfectly indicative of how this game fails to hold a tone. And also why murder kid is unsettling for more reasons than just that terrible outfit.

Anyways, that was the last interesting main story event for today. Enjoy these next two.

-----

~ Drill Grounds - Main Story Event ~

Music: Royal Military Academy




: Heck yeah! Once we're through this, it's the final round!
: And once we win THAT, we in Class G are gonna be the champs!









: You again? Here to watch our match and learn a thing or two?
: Oh, I'm cheering you on.
: You'll be food for my squad. It wouldn't do to have you lose here.
: I hear Class A's already won a spot at the finals.



: A long, needless preamble to the awards ceremony.



If you rejects try hard enough, you may just earn the right to lose to us.




: Ah, let go would you? You're crushing my arm!
: Oops, I'm sorry! I kinda tensed up...



: Class B and Class G chairs, front and center!
: All right, let us at 'em!
: Heh. Someone's feisty. Let's see what you maggots can do!





Twybil's Summary posted:

: Aw yeah!
: You're really into this!
: Yeah! And we're going straight to the finals and winning that too!
: Yeah, maybe!
: Let's do this!

: I want you losers to win so we can crush you later. This whole tournament is just for us to show off, really.

Come at us, rejects!

: Avan, don't fuck this up! I'm going to destroy those jerks!
: Ow! Stop trying to break my arm!
: Sorry! I activated Berserker Rage by accident!
: Hey, you bunch of jerks, get up here and get ready to fight!
: I'mma beat 'em up! Let's do this!

----

No, the Semifinal is not an interesting mission in the slightest. It's another entirely biased map where you're stuck on assault with 6 units, the enemy has like 4 tanks and a ton of troopers. There's no attempt to make this map seem like an actual even drill.

I mean, it's no question why Class G's been losing all this time, the other teams just get an incredibly large amount of cheating on their side.

Anyways, I beat it. Let's move on.

----

~ You can probably guess - Do I have to tell you? ~

Music: Theme of Class G



: Class G takes the round!




: Wow, I'm surprised to hear that, coming from--
: Few get the privilege of facing Class A in combat. You must be proud.
: Oh, right. That.
: I must say, your tactics are truly senseless.

This game is senseless, what's your point?



: Who asked you anyways?
: And you seem paralyzed by your obsession with the people around you.
: A leader must be prepared to sacrifice even himself for victory!
: What? That's crazy!
: That is the weight of the office of the commander. Leon Hardins would agree.
: You really think Leon...
: Whoa, Avan. Check that brother complex of yours for just a moment here.
: I've got little use for a leader who's going to up and die on me.
: Uhh, thanks?
: You again?



: Even if it does ultimately win the battle at hand.
: Though I doubt you could kill Avan if you tried. I've been tempted myself.
: Hey, now!
: I'll be the first to grant that you're a skilled tactician, Juliana.
: But it will take more than mere strategy to beat us.



: -And you will not address me so casually in the future. Understand?
: I'll see you and all your little friends flayed in the finals!

*Runs off*

: Man, I wonder what her deal is? It's always the same spiel.



: I even agree with a lot of what she says.
: You do need to focus more out there, or you're going to get hurt, Avan.
: Oof...





Twybil's Summary posted:

: Class G wins!
: Woo!
: You barely survived. Congrats.
: Hey thanks-
: -Now you get to face US, you LOOOSEEERS
: ...Right.
: You're not even using strategy! You care about your squad mates! You must sacrifice, you terrible leader!
: You're crazy!
: LEON would agree with me.
: Suddenly, I'm here and I'm telling you to not get yourself killed.
: ok thanx
: Listen, Ms. Fanservice: your strategy sucks even if it does win, you coward. Besides, you can't kill this jerk if you tried. You're good at what you do, I won't lie, but you'll need more than strategy to win.
: Shut it, inferior fool! I didn't say you could use my name! I'll have you flayed, metaphorically!

*Runs off*

: Why doesn't she say anything else, ever?
: Confidence, I guess. Anyways, she's not completely wrong. You're probably going to get hurt out there if you don't think first.
: But thinking hurts too! Eh, anyways, we'll beat them.
: I'm cheering to remind you that I was indeed, in this cutscene!

----

Here's a reminder that we're supposed to like Juliana in some sense of the word. No, I'm not sure how either.

Anyways, I promised an daily event to make this less boring, so here you go.

---

~ Courtyard - Daily Event ~



: You mean Avan's brother? No, I never did.
: He passed on before I came to Lanseal. Still, I've heard the stories.
: ...How he fought against the Empire as a lancer in the militia.
: How he maintained the top of the tank kill count in all of the 3rd Company



: His intellect and charisma earned him the trust of both peers and professors.
: He sounds like quite the fellow. I would have liked to have met him.
: I wonder if Avan was adopted.
: He's friendly, and a man-of-action sort of guy, but um, not the military type.
: Heh.
: That much is true.



Twybil's Summary posted:

: Hey, you ever heard of LEON?
: I never got a chance to meet LEON, THE GREATEST. He was the BESTEST lancer.
: Even I have heard of LEON THE LEGENDARY GARY STU.
: I wish is could have gotten a chance to meet LEON.
: You know, Avan sucks in comparison to LEON.
: Heh.
: That applies in general.

LEEE-ON! LEEE-ON!

...Oh, right excuse me. I would like to point out that yes, they do develop a bit of Leon's backstory, but it still boils down into HE WAS THE GREATEST THAT EVER LIVED

Eh, hopefully that was mildly interesting. If it wasn't, I'd apologize, but you should've known what you'd be in for with a VC2 update.

Anyways, next time we get to witness the game take a sudden change of tone, like it usually does.