The Let's Play Archive

Wall Street Kid

by Novasol

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Original Thread: Adam Smith would kill himself if he saw Wallstreet Kid.




I hate myself and I intend to prove it with this thread. So what is Wallstreet Kid? Let's let Wikipedia answer that question for us:

Wall Street Kid is a Nintendo video game in which the main character, in order to gain a six-hundred-billion-dollar inheritance from a distant relative, must prove himself worthy by taking $500,000 in seed money and successfully investing it in the U.S. stock market.

Yes, this is a stock market game, and is likely to be the death knell to my sanity because you, Goony McGoons, are going to be my financial advisors. I am putting my financial wellbeing in your hands. Your (surely) very capable hands.

I think I want to cry.

Anyway, there are two main characters in this train wreck of a game.

Holy SHIT I don't think I've ever seen a bigger douchebag.

That's me baby, Slade Percy Benedict the Third. Esquire.

This is who we play as. As mentioned before, he is a gigantic douchebag and looks every bit the part. He is engaged to...

This woman. To quote one of the more prominent minstrels of our day:
I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga
But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas

This song is about Prisila.

I'm NOT a gold digger! I'm just... very high maintenance.
That's right baby, you tell him.

At least they're happy together. Aside from the goal of making money and acquiring property, this game has secondary goals: your time must be managed to make Prisila happy (and like most golddigging whores, the more expensive the gifts you give her, the happier she is), and you also have to allocate leisure and exercise time so Slade doesn't become a fat, useless neckbeard.

Anyway, let's get into the game proper...

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