The Let's Play Archive

Warcraft II

by Azzur

Part 2: Mission 2: Trolling Hillsbrad

Episode 2: Raid at Hillsbrad or Trolling Hillsbrad

: Y'know what? I'm glad I'm not a damned general anymore. Especially if Doomhammer really means to fight up in all that mess.

: You are Chieftain Necksmasher, correct?

: ...this is why Bloodgut told me not to drink in the morning.

: I am Gul'dan, chief warlock to Wa-

: Yeah, I know, we kind of met.

: You've ruined my entrance.

: I'm a little pressed for time, here. See, you can't feel this chill because you're an arcane figment of my imagination or whatever, but it is freezing up here. Can we rush to the point?

: Again, your impudence disgusts and impresses me, pawn. I have need of your soldier, Vilefeast. I have... research to conduct.

: Yeah, sure. Notakebacks!

: Doomhammer has also asked for the closest foot soldiers to break into a human prison. Within, there may be... potential allies. With your encampment being the closest, I have seen fit for you to take part in this excursion.

: Ugh. Yeah, I gues- Wait, you're taking my best warrior and sending me to assault a human prison?

: Farewell, Necksmasher. My knights have already gathered Vilefeast. Enjoy our new friends, yes?

Later, in human territory...

: What do you think Gul'dan meant by knights?

: Can't you see that there are more pressing issues?

: Of course, I'll set the men to gathering lumber for our-

: Who am I supposed to drink with now!?

: Well, if we can put aside the loss of Vilefeast for the moment, I can begin construction on a lumber mill. Here we could store wood for the coming siege ahead.

Interestingly enough, you have the introduction of the lumber mill here. However, spending any time on base management on this mission is really a waste of time. Unfortunately, that means we'll be skipping the mill and we'll have to see it on a later level.

: Siege?

: Well, without Vilefeast, we can only hope to whittle away at the human defenses over days.

: Oh, really? Well, looks like we'll need a new Vilefeast...

: ...and guess who just got promoted!

: But, Chieftain-

: Attack, Vilefeast! Go! Charge!

: ...Why me?

: Alright, men! We have overwhelming numbers! Silence them before they can alert any more humans!

: Well, I suppose that wasn't so hard.

: Hm? Hey, that looks like the prison up ahead. Charge, Vilefeast II!

: Chieftain! You should be back at the base camp!

: You talk more than the real Vilefeast! Hurry! Earn my affection!

: Chieftain, this is no place for you to be! Look, we're already losing soldiers!

: To be honest, I'm sticking around in hopes that you take a stray blow to the face. I'd kick myself if I missed that.

: Just what kind of defenses do these humans have?

: Well, they have that tower there...

Our first sighting of human buildings and it's just a mere scout tower. In Warcraft II, we have access to towers for the first time in the series, but they all begin with a scout tower (or watch tower for orcs) which does... nothing. Okay, I suppose you could argue that they can be used to create choke points and stall enemies from getting closer to your main forces, but in the end, they're just a hunk of hit points waiting to be chopped down.

: Correction. They have that highly flammable tower there.

: I always thought that Vilefeast set fire to human buildings himself. Who knew that they just burst into flame like that?

: Ahem... we are the Blackrock Cla-

: Let me do the talking, Bloodgut. I'm the chieftain here. I am Chieftain Nigel Necksmasher of Necksmasher's... Necksmashers.

: Necksmasher's Necksmashers? Really, Chieftain?

: And you would be?

: 'Ey. Dun mind 'im. 'E donna like to gab up orcs.

: Eh? Who the nether is interrupting my diplomatics!?

: Jus' a 'umble troll... eh... "Chief"?

: Oh, good. Someone who shares the same fashion sense as Vilefeast.

: Chieftain, he does speak orcish. Perhaps he can be useful to the War Chief; allies in the war, right?

: Yah, yah. Mehbe I be helpful, yah? Jus' need da favah from ya. Troll village not far from 'ere, mon. Whenna Zul'jin get dere me can talk to da righteous mon about ye orcs.

: Escort mission. If that isn't an ogre-puncher for you, I don't know what is.

: Between the two of you, I don't know if I'll understand a single word. Alright, men! Form up! Protect the trolls!

: So, who are you, anyway?

: Me name Mag'fon, mon. Ya must be Chief Necksmasher, yah?

: By the titans, I hate how you talk.

: Mag'fon? That's a strange name, even for a troll.

: Because you know all about trolls, right?

: I've had six years of uninterrupted study at the human libraries. The ones that you didn't burn. ...or that Vilefeast didn't defecate in.

: 'Dis mon got da right idea. Ma name not whatcha call a "good ting." I... eh. Dunna like ta talk about it.

:'re not welcome with the other troll tribes, are you?

: I said I dunna like ta talk about it!

: Heh, somebody's got a temper.

: Look... I... da ya need somewan ta help ya troops? I'mma good shot wit da axe, mon.

: Yeah, sorry, but we're full on illiterate idiots who have axe fetishes.

: Chieftain, given that Vilefeast is preoccupied with Gul'dan and that Mag'fon has nowhere to go...

: But... but... listen to him talk!

: Chieftain...

: We nearin' da tribe. I can't go any furtha, mon.

: We understand.

: Do we? I mean, I'm pretty much in the dark on this one.

: Chieftain, if we bring in Mag'fon as a potential ally, imagine how impressed the War Chief will be.

: Do not care.

: Consider the wealth of knowledge he could impart onto the soldiers.

: What, that wearing pants in waist deep snow is stupid? Pass.

:'ll be able to make fun of his accent.

: Hmm...

Yeah, the second half of the level is really that dull. The goal is to bring Zul'jin back to the "Circle of Power," so I took a page from House and went in this direction.

"Walking looks good. It gives the illusion of the story moving forward."

: Mag'fon? Welcome aboard.

: Victory!

: You sound like you've been beaten with an ogre's testicle. Heh. Oh, this is going to be great.