The Let's Play Archive

Warlock 2: The Exiled

by JcDent

Part 17: The Newly Dead

I truly appreciate all the praises I get, so keep 'em commin', I guess. I also started thinking about what LP I could possibly do after this. Fallout Tactics, maybe?

Chapter 16: The Newly Dead

King Lich furrowed his phantom brow

“I remember capturing you... and you going to fight the United one”

“Those are things that happened, yes”

“I guess this means war, again”

“Oh, no, no no no! You had the full right to defeat me. I was a terrible Great Mage and my conduct was unbefiting of a member of the Circle”

King Lich thought back to Miralbus the Hat and Sol de Torvega...


“Really, I should have known better. And you proved yourself to be a better people of my men that I ever was, so...”


“Well, if I let Krel get away with that... sure, truce”

“Yaaar... Load up... the mother-in-law! Time... time to stink up the place!”

Sometimes, there is not time to get boats into place, to load up the troops and ship them where they are needed. And teleportation spells might be out of reach.

In that case, a water walking spell is necessary. Casting it lets troop walk on rivers, lakes and seas like on gently springing ground.

Trouble is that stormy seas and great waves tend to tire them out due to all the walking.

“Come, servants of light, drive these demons back! For helia!”

“Another city? This plane is lousy with goblins... and ogres”

“Regardless... we must press on! Forward, Svarts!”

Markar was resting his head after a day of wrestling that culminated in a well deserved feast. So he was understandably irate when someone kicked the door of the mead hall open.

A shout rang out:

“Death to the servans of the usurper!”

It was met by silence. Silence and angry glares of hungover barbarians.

The rebels didn't achieve much that night.

“Attacking a city devoted to Krolm... don't you see the madness, my people?”

“Aye, no Svart worth his axe would be that stupid”

“You see? The rabbleraisers think you all simple and dumb, easily lead sheep!”

“Exactly. Ol' Bones might be strange and a tad muderous, but he doesn't think us stupid. Think about that”

“Yes, think about it. Because if you don't, you might end up attacking his tower in Lichgrad during a lightning storm”

Wolves of Helia beset by demons and dragons by all sides, died stoically as only someone who has had his humanity burned out by divine light could.

In fact, some of them bore serene smiles: they knew that their mundane master would return them to the fight soon enough.

Plaguedell wasn't a big city to begin with (the disease that gave it name also helped), and, as such, was lightly defended. The ogres had sacked it before, crushing the walls with their mighty tree trunk clubs. Now, the Elite Guard hacked their way through the barricades that filed the gaps.

“Phew! This place reeks! What do with it?”

“'Burn it down' is the word, that's what we'll do”

“Whoa, no more swamps and jungles? Bugger off, mosquitoes!”

Mosquitoes, dejected and defeated, slunk back to their marshes.

King Lich wasn't just preparing lands for settlement: he was also preparing for ruling said settlements. Barons and baronies would be created, baronets established (nobody knew what they were supposed to be doing) and a secret counsel of Svarts was established to look out for evil barons.

"Ghosts are completely useless creatures. And if that were not enough, they take advantage of their incorporeal nature, and play tricks of dubious nature, which often strain the laws of decency. One must admit, however, that ghosts remain excellent soldiers in the army of the undead." - From "Necrarium Tomeus" by Necromaster Barbaross the Deceased.

“What is this? An enemy I can't cut with an axe? Preposterous!”

“How many ogres are there? Is this some elemental plane of ogres? I'm feeling like a lumber jack... but trees don't bleed and only occasionally try to kill you”

Rainbow dragon continued his rampage through the countryside, robbing graves and sacking crypts.

“I wish we met on better circumstances, but the realm never lets one sit idle. And if you try and sit idle, someone who doesn't will make use of it”

"To create a skeleton sniper requires both mastery and patience. First, one must create an oculus visum from rock crystal, one for each sniper. Then one must strengthen the arms with 'live' leather, and the neck with rods of nevril. Due to the high cost of these materials, I recommend that novice necromancers should first train on wooden dummies." - From "Necrarium Tomeus" by Necromaster Barbaross the Deceased.

This raid on a crypt was different. Usually, all that was left would be broken tomb stones, skulls scattered in the wind and faint clatter of gold coins and laughter of a dragon.
This time there was also company of skeleton marksmen, eyeholing the dragon expectedly.

“Now what am I supposed to do with you lot?”

“Well, that was unexpected and silly. Hope that doesn't happen again”

It totally can happen again, a few times even. It's horrible

“Lichanium, mylord?”

“I have great plans for it, great plans indeed”

Wolves of Helia might be immune to the elements and enchantments, but not to teleportation. This let them be redeployed a lot faster. And that was something they really liked.

One day, the greatest farmers of the land gathered for a great grain vault dance near Lichgrad. After a lot of stomping that passed for Svart dancing, drinking began. And with drinking – stories of farm life and agriculture, punctuated by gouts of vomiting.

King Lich VI, invited as an honor guest, stayed sober and recorded some of the best stories and warnings and published it as a book on agriculture.

New Garuda, another town filled with goblins, was also burned to the ground.

In retaliation, imitation or just ire, a red dragon tried to burn Fort Gobbo. It was better built than Garuda, and had the benefit of being constructed out of damp logs, so it didn't burn so well.

Sir Hugue marched to something that could be called a 'rescue' if anyone ever tried to rescue goblins.

Ice Ring was a strange spell that was created as a protective measure for kidnapping prone princesses and daughters, as well as sons of the more... bard-like inclinations. When triggered, it would freeze everyone around the would be victim.

While this froze innocent servants on occasions, it would only become a problem with romantic stablehands, as frozen steeds are harder to replace.

“Wait, this place seems familiar”

“Fervus damn it!”

“And there's demons,too”

"Imps are small, pushy servants of Hell. They are cunning, cruel -- and can be quite persuasive." - From the collected works of His Majesty's Advisor

"Demons are a stronger and more abominable version of their impish kinsmen. They have little interest in mere mischief, but rather prefer genuine terror and total mayhem." - From the collected works of His Majesty's Advisor

“What's next, Tormetors? There's still the south east portion of that dead realm unexplored... and probably less painful”

"Note to self: never cross an Elder Vampire, even if it means you'll have to become a vampire yourself and take a dead witch for a wife."- A note in the margins of "Necarium Tomeus", presumably by Necromaster Barbaross the Deceased.

“Vampires? Better transport them to fight ogres. Not much blood in zombies and skeletons. Maybe I'll have a talk with them afterwards”

Cecinia the Saint had accomplished a new thing. Reading the lines of magic, she could predict where the elements would strike. This, however, was a very rapid premonition, way too quick for her to react. But then she wove an intricate tapestry of magic and spells that would protect those around her from such ravages, even if a little bit.

This was useless, because she was teleported to Ashwind Dale to aid the Wolves with her spells, and Wolves had ample protection from the elemets.

Cecinia didn't, so King Lich layered protective enchantments on her, finishing with a spell of invisibility.

This was somewhat detrimental to the land, however.


The barbarian woman looked sad.

“It's customary to kick someone over when we make entry”

“Please don't. Maybe I'll get some goblins for the next. So, what can I do for the Fahther Of All Men?”

“Lord Krolm wants to test your dedication. You have to destroy another band of Archers of Grum-Gog...”

“Well, that's easy”

“ Ashwind Dale”

“Now that is more challenging”

Some people stipulated that Ordained Shamans were so dirty, they fouled up the magic they casted and all that fertile dirt translated into life magic.

“Dukes usually are not as evil as barons or counts, but you still have to keep close eye on them, especially if they're advisors or really ambitious...”

The dragon was immensely surprised by the soul searing bolts of magic that came out of nowhere, but didn't really have any ideas on how to deal with that. So he continued to pester the Wolves.

“And who might you be, miss...?”

“Mallacir. A pleasure to meet you!”