Part 23: When Midgets Step Up, I Stomp Midget Asses
Dont say I dont deliver on my promises now
So the game expects you to go right from the Downtown Greede station into the Bunker Lode Caverns. Which is actually kind of nice, and forward-thinking of the game for once.
So you hop on the train and it takes you right into the caverns.
CUTSCENE: Dragon Territory
CUTSCENE / AERA MUSIC: Bunker Lode Caverns (Disc 2, Track 4)
The party gathers inside the mines, with Orren coming along behind them incredibly reluctantly.
Caesar: Be careful by the ruins. Thats dragon territory.
Caesar: A number of our workers have been attacked. Generally speaking, dragons leave humans alone
Caesar: But they dont like people anywhere near their nest.
Caesar: For now, my dads suspended work in that area.
Caesar: Also, one of the dragons that lives in the ruins wears armour.
Kara: An armoured dragon?
Caesar: Crazy, right? But thats the story.
Caesar: At least thats what they say.
Caesar: Hey, its not as if Ive seen the thing myself.
I legitimately cant tell if hes joking here or not.
Leonard: So then basically going after Cisna will tick if off.
Yulie: Urgh. Figures.
Orren: When ISNT a day with you a trip into Hell?
Caesar: Hey, no sweat!
Caesar: Dragons like me.
Caesar: Well, probably. Anyway, itll be an adventure.
Oh Caesar, you just keep getting better and better.
So the Bunker Lode Caverns are by an large a rehash of the Nordia Tunnels only with a swapped elemental and colour pallet. In Nordia, everything was blue and water-based. In Bunker Lode, everything is red and fire-based.
Like this Red Scorpion. Which sounds like a codename for something, the more I think about it.
We also encounter Earth elementals here for the first time. I think. You know this game is bad when a guy with a near eidetic memory for bullshit minutia cant remember things about what enemies have and havent appeared yet.
And of course, the Magi are here too.
I noticed I havent really done much to point out all the Magi soldier variants weve encountered thus far. Mostly because theyve all been kind of samey.
So far weve seen short-sword wielding Magi Swordsman. Magi Spearmen. This guy here with the hatchet is a Magi Axeman. The guy up above ^^^^ with the big axe like Orren is wielding is the Magi Axemaster. Weve also encountered Magi Archers. But there are two new Magi types we meet in the Bunker Lode Caversn.
These guys are the Magi Wizards. They are literally the games Squishy Wizards because their costumes seem to be made out of rubber. And for whatever reason theyre wearing gimp masks.
Well, three types, anyway. This is the Magis own brand of giant enemy, the Black Knave. They start throwing these things at you now that the Black Knight has mysteriously disappeared from the plot.
Black Knaves are jacked up Trolls that are weak against impact attacks rather than stabbing attacks. So theyre not a true pallet swap.
Congratulations Level-5, you sort of hit the button and varied things up a little bit!
We also encounter a Red Dragon in the lower level.
I should also point out that theres also tons of Fire Lizards and an Earth Dragon roaming about the caverns. And if you come back here after you clear this section of the story youll also encounter Basilisks and Golems all over the place too.
So what we need to do there is to use this lift to get down to the ruins in B1 of the Caverns.
But, this being White Knight Chronicles
Of course we have to do some bullshit task before we can go forward.
So we have to run through the upper level of the mine and activate three generators to power up the elevator. But before you do that, you also need to clear out the Magi soldiers crowded around each generator too.
I kind of like how all the lights here are powered by what look like propane tanks. But then again, with all these compressed gas canisters everywhere, this place must be a time bomb waiting to go off. Also, theyre probably a bitch to replace, because these things are all over the place.
Now we get to run down this one-way staircase back to the elevator. The pile of timbre down at the base prevents you from climbing up it. Because it only should work as a shortcut when youre done with your pointless diversion, not during it.
I will give the game credit though, at least its not an equidistant backtrack, as usual. See, Caesar even makes the games dungeons better.
Ah, heres the last Magi soldier I was talking about. This is the Magi Commander, also sometimes called the Magi Officer. You can pick them out of crowds of Magi soldiers by their stupid pointy smokestack helmets.
Here, these guys are pushovers. In game 2, theyre goddamn nightmares to deal with. Thats because when you kill them in game 2, they transform into Gigases and you then have to kill the Gigas. Its absolute tedium.
I stopped and looked at this hole in the ceiling because I thought it was pretty.
We get a Logic Stone to save at before we head into the Boss Fights. But lets be honest here, nothing can save us now
So theres the ruins we glimpsed at the start of the chapter.
And its cutscene time.
CUTSCENE: Confronting Belcitane (again)
So Belcy and company are just standing around and waiting. Quite convenient of them, no?
Hes also in the midst of a mimed conversation with Cisna. Feel free to make up whatever joke you want here about what theyre talking about.
Leonard: Cisna, Im here!
Cisna: Aw tits, here we go I mean
Take a shot.
Belcitane: Urgh. Must you ALWAYS show up right in the nick of time?
Belcitane: I must say, youre starting to become a BIT of a cliché.
The game has no right to be this self-aware after the shit its pulled recently, yet, I will allow it, simply because its Belctiane. And Belcitane is incredible.
Leonard: Fine with us. Now let her go!
Ah Leonard, he doesnt even bother arguing when Belcitane straight-up implies hes a terribly written character.
Luckily, Caesar steps up and shoves Leonard out of the spotlight for the rest of the chapter.
Caesar: Hey, hes one of the Magi? Gotta say, Im digging his haircut.
You beautiful bastard, Caesar. Although with those dreds, are you really one to comment on another persons hair?
Belcitane: Oh? Found another friend, have we? Bah! Raise a whole army!
Belcitane: You still wont stand a chance against us! Uh ha ha ha hah!
Behind Belcys back, one of the Magi soldiers starts whispering to Shapur.
Shapur nods and heads into the ruins.
Youre time as a background character is coming to an end, buddy! Its nearly here!
Eldore: You do know youre wasting your time searching these ruins, right?
Orren: You got any other tips you want to pass along to this doof to make things easier for him, old man?
Belcitane: If you mean for the Ark, were waiting, not searching.
Belcitane: The dragon who carries it has to return sometime.
Leonard: Why wait? Well take care of you right now!
Belcitane: Oh really?
Belcitane: Youll help pass the time?
Belcitane: How kind of you!
BOSS FIGHT(s): Belctiane, Gigas x2, Dragon Matriarch, and Sargatanas Boss Fights (with commentary by nine-gear crow and Blind Sally)
Not quite up to the standard set by Riproarin Reptile, but itll do.
So Belcitane, it turns out is also a Squishy Wizard. He fights with a staff and has some powerful tier II and III magic attacks from all four elements. Hes also defended by four Magi Swordsmen.
Belcitane also has his share of boss battle dialog too:
Belcitane: This time its CURTAINS for you!
Leonard: I remember you!
Caesar: What? Is he a friend of yours?
I went into this fight hilariously over-leveled so I kick the shit out him something fierce.
Normally this series of battles in this game is derided by players as That One Boss-level stuff.
CUTSCENE: Upping the Stakes
Belcitane: Lets dispense with the foreplay!
Belcitane likes it rough, I guess.
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Gigantes (Unreleased Track)
Two of his Magi goons step up as that tense Gigas Battle music thats not on the soundtrack starts playing again.
Magi Soldier: Adveni!
Magi Soldier: Adveni!
I love how weve already moved past the shock and horror of people deploying Gigases in combat now.
So on the left we have Betataria Gigas (the dung beetle looking one) and on the right is a Betapente Gigas (the bird-like one)
Caesar: Dude! You could have warned me about this!
Orren: Welcome to Hell, bitch. Take a seat. Youre gonna be here for a while.
Standard Gigas Practice ensues. Whip out the White Knight and stab both of them to death at once if you can.
The White Knight doesnt appear in these screenshots because I want to mitigate Leoanrds presence in this chapter, but I do begrudgingly use him for the Knight in the battle video.
And Im about to get probated by geop for White Knighting, arent I?
Anyway, Tweedlebig and Tweedlelarge go down like bitches, so now by rights there should be nothing standing in the way of Leonard transforming into the White Knight properly and scooping up Cisna from Belcitanes stubby clutches and kicking him into orbit again.
Nothing at all.
CUTSCENE: Mother of Dragons
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Tense Battle (Disc 1, Track 30)
Leonard: Its the dragon!
Eldore: And it makes the one in the Flandars seem small in comparison.
Caesar: Damn. Thats how to make an entrance. Woohoo!
The Dragon Matriarch swoops overhead, surveying the battlefield.
She clips the rocks on the mouth of the chasm, causing gigantic boulders to tumble down onto everyone.
I would have loved it if one of those boulders just randomly landed on Cisna and crushed her to death, just to see how the game would change now that the living McGuffin the entire plot turned on was excised from the story.
Leonard: Cisna, NO!
Take half a shot. He did follow it up with a noun, after all.
Belcitane: Yes, thats it. Get nice and angry!
So now that we know Belctinate is actually some sort of wizard, he starts busting out actual magic powers on us.
In this case, just teleporting himself and Cisna away. Im not counting this as a third kidnapping because theyre coming right back after the next boss fight.
Yulie: What the? Whered they go?
Eldore: Clever. He wants the dragon to finish us off for him.
Caesar: Well, would you rather talk about
Caesar: Or do something about it?
Caesar: stepping up the hero plate Leonard has long-since abdicated since the fucking moment he entered the story!
The Dragon Matriarch comes fluttering down to ground level. Kind of stupid on her part, since it places her on even ground with the party, who cant attack her while shes in the air.
Even blinded by murderous rage, shes still cogent enough to abide by sportsmanlike conduct.
How nice of her.
This is probably the single longest Boss Subtitle in the entire game.
Dragon Matriarch: You will taste our RAGE!
Leonard: Damn! Another trap?!
Dragon Matriarch: NO APPLOGY CAN SAVE YOU!
Leonard: Ive had enough of dragons!
So like all dragons, the Dragon Matriarch is weak to impact attacks. And thats about it. Shes really strong, and I remember having to take like two or three tries at beating her the first time I played this game, but again because Im over-leveled I kind of plough right through her in the video.
Just like the Black Knight and the Ancient Dragon, shes got some powerful attacks with her wings that can knock you down if youre not in Knight mode.
CUTSCENE: The Dragon Knight
The Matriarch roars in defeat.
And then seemingly calms down
Yulie: Whats she doing?
Caesar: No idea
Caesar: But she finally seems to realise were not the enemy.
Dragon Matriarch: I made a terrible mistake this day.
Welcome to my world, lady.
Dragon Matriarch: The death of my beloved child made me blind with grief and rage. I did not know I was savaging the one person I am destined to serve.
Eldore: The one who is to receive the Dragons Ark
Caesar: Well whadaya know.
And of course, Belcitane and crew pop back in at this very moment.
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Attack (Disc 1, Track 11)
Take a shot.
Belcitane: I have to admit, that didnt turn out quite the way I had hoped
Belcitane: But thats alright.
Belcitane: For you see, friends
Belcitane: I have a Gigas too!
Orren: Oooof course you do.
Belcitane: One with power that puts your oversized lizards to shame! Come forth, Sargatanas!
This is also the point in the plot where that whole a pact with a Gigas is a soul-eating, corrupting curse that comes with a great cost thing goes right out the goddamn window too. The Magi just start casually throwing Gigases out like theyre fucking Pokémon cards from here on out.
I suppose you could make the argument that this is the reason why Belcitane is such a fucked up evil prick, because hes been the Pactmaker some screwed up Super Gigas this whole time and its driven him comically insane But the game would simply laugh at your attempts to actually plug one of its myriad plotholes.
Even Belcitanes Gigas form is dumpy and fat. Guy cant catch a break when it comes to body shape.
Sargatanas stomps towards the Matriarch
While the party just stares on dumbfounded.
Hey, shit-for-brains! I know this is Caesars chapter and all, but did you want to transform into the White Knight at any point now? I think the Dragon Matriarch is kind of in serious jeopardy here, seeing as how Belcitane is a villain in this game and therefore actually competent.
Nope. Instead of doing something heroic, Leonard just stands there while Belcy whips out his freaky face-tail, aaaaand .
IM A FIRING MAH LAZOR!
But because shes essentially wearing an Incorruptus on her body, the shot bounces harmlessly off her wing armour.
She lets down her guard for a moment
And Belcy nails her in the face with the trick shot.
Okay, seriously, Leonard. Nows the time to do something heroic.
Shes getting her ass kicked.
TRANSFORM YOU STUPID USELESS SHITSACK!
Sargatanas closes in for the kill while Leonard struggles to remember he has the power of an Incorruptus at his disposal.
The Matriarch starts backing up, knowing shes all but cornered now and rescue sure as shit is not coming from the only possible source it can at this point.
She keeps backing up, eventually stepping on a trap tile.
Dragon Matriarch: Urgh. Fuck my life
Bolts of magical energy start to form all around her.
We now get an extended sequence of sheer silence as the Dragon Matriarch gets pummeled over and over again with magical bolts until she collapses.
Its a very tragic and somber scene, but it kind of lacks something without music. In the commentary for the video I suggest maybe playing something like The End of the Battle from the Shadow of the Colossus soundtrack. Blind Sally suggested something completely inappropriate and mood-killing like a 90s pop song.
So with that in mind, I present: The Death of the Dragon Matriarch The Tasteful Version The Ruined Version
And before anyone gets pedantic with me, yes I know Paradise By The Dashboard Light came out in 1977, but there was no way I was not including it in that mix. There is nothing more poignant moment-ruining than an upbeat song about how hot sex eventually drives people insane.
Well, heres another one to add to the long list of Beings Who Died Because Leonard Showed Up Somewhere Were now at Ahwahnee, Lena, the Ancient Dragon and the Dragon Matriarch. And were nowhere near finished his killstreak yet.
Cisna: Fuck it, I dont want to be rescued anymore. This kid only brings death with him wherever he goes.
Down goes Frasier!
He even does a little Gigas fist pump too. God, what I wouldnt give for everyone else to just fuck right off and have this game be a buddy movie starting Belcitane and Caesar.
Caesar: Gah! Shes in trouble! Those bastards! They laid a trap for her!
Leonard: Gods, I feel so helpless. I wish there was something I could do
Everyone: USE YOUR KNIGHT, YOU IDIOT!
Leonard: Whats a
Caesar: Fuck this.
He tears off to try and help her.
Leonard: Come back, man! Youre supposed to stand around awkwardly like the rest of us!
Caesar: Hey! Hang in there!
Dragon Matriarch: It It is you
Dragon Matriarch: The power brought you here guided us together .
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Sincas Children (Disc 2, Track 15)
Dragon Matriarch: For countless years I have protected this power Waiting to return it to you
Dragon Matriarch: And now, the time has come.
Dragon Matriarch: Take it, my child
She turns into a bright flash of light and disappears.
Caesar: This This is the Dragons Ark.
Ghost Dragon Matriarch: Use it wisely. Power such as this can wreak great destruction Yes. But, it can also be used for good. I know you will do the right thing. I believe in you, my child.
Ghost Dragon Matriarch: I must go now, my planet needs me.
Caesar: Youve done your duty well. Ill watch over the Ark now.
Cisna: Finally! Someone who might know how to use one of these things properly!
She starts gibberishing it up again.
Belcy looks down, no doubt pissed at the development.
Cisna: Who has two thumbs and wants all of you to go right to fucking Hell? Spoiler alert: If I could move my arms Id be saying this bitch! right now.
Cisna: Dont fuck this one up, Marley.
Caesars overcome with a sudden burst of Ancient Knowledge downloaded into his brain from the Ark by Cisna.
Caesar: Now I see!
Belcitane: What did she do?!
Belcitane: Dont tell me HES the one?!
Best line of the whole damn game coming up in 3 2 1
Caesar: Hey! Jackass the Giant!
Caesar: I dont usually get pissed off, but if youve got any last words
Caesar: Say em!
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Crimson Dragon (Disc 2, Track 5)
Belcitane: Hrumph. Little gnat. You can be the first to
Belcitane takes a wild haymaker swing at Caesar.
Oh I guess he died then.
Wait, Ive used that joke before. And this game has used that ploy before.
Luckily, were spared the drawn out Did they really kill the hero bit we got with Leonard, as Caesar immediately parkours out of harms way.
Caesar: Wuh-ho! Too slow there, clayfeet!
Caesar: Hey. Now its my turn!
Caesar: O Larvayne
Caesar: Vermillion drake
Caesar: Leveler of ancient lands
Caesar: Grant me your power!
Caesar: Say goodnight, asshole!
Behold: the Dragon Knight.
Eldore: The Knight!
Leonard: Damn. I wish I could do that!
Eldore: I wish you could too.
Kara: Why him?
Aww, is someone jealous for cryptic reasons?
Yulie: Wow! Caesar!
Someone has the most confused ladyboner right now.
Belcitane: Oh ho! The great Dragon Knight awakens!
Belcitane: But if I can break the Pactmaker
Belcitane: I can break the pact!
And now we get another boss fight with Belcitane.
Belcitane in his Gigas form is a real prick. He has a nasty habit of rushing at you immediately and trapping you against the invisible walls of the arena, because Knight combat suddenly doesnt become any less obtuse and awkward now that weve got access to the best non-Black Knight, non-Arc Knight Incorruptus in the game.
Caesar: Alright, time for a little payback!
Belcitane: Hah! Theres no way you can win!
Caesar: Whos funny now, clown man?
Belcitane: Aaaaahahahaha! Die like a good little brat!
The real threat for this chapter, gameplay-wise was the Matriarch. Now that shes gone, the Sargatanas boss fight is merely cathartic gravy. Sargatanas is weak to stabbing attacks, and seeing as how the Dragon Knight wields a giant fuck off spear, thats the only attacks it really has.
Caesar: Wait. Why is this so easy?
Because I powerleved you with a Game Genie in order to get content out faster.
So all you need to do is stab the sunbitch in the chest
Until he goes down.
Belcitane: WHAT?! Where did you gain such power?!
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
Hey! White Knighting! None of that, buster! <>