Part 28: Who Better Than Canyon? (Part 2)
CUTSCENE: We Knew That Already
Later that night, Caesar and Kara are alone together keeping watch by the fire.
Caesars chomping away on a nice leg of something. Probably part of that troll they killed a while back, while Kara looks as mopey as ever, crushed by the weight of her place in the party and Grazels looming threat against her life.
She looks to Leonards tent, waiting for her opportunity to strike.
While shit-for-brains saws logs, completely unaware hes in any danger.
Just do it, girl. Itll be our little secret.
No literally, thats the sound hes making right now as hes chomping away at that leg.
Caesar: Eu chod eat shumfing.
Kara: Im not hungry.
Kara: Its my turn to keep watch tonight. You should get some rest.
Caesar: Why? Am I boring you with my attempts to be nice?
Kara: Dont touch me!
She slaps his hand away, and in the moment of contact, everything slows down and we get another dramatic KAWOMWOMWOMWOM! Sound effect.
Images start flooding through Caesars head.
Belcitane and the Magi soldiers on the ridge overlooking Blandor, ah, I mean Balandor.
Kara in Albana and Dinivas in the Nordia Tunnels.
Cisna at the Sand Maze Ruins, just before Kara conveniently walks away and leaves her to be re-captured by Belcitane.
Kara joining the party for seemingly no reason at the time
If our script-writing god wills it, that is
And finally, the Black Knight itself.
Secrets out, folks. Kara is the Black Knight.
And we get a needless slow motion shot of the drumstick sailing through the air to punctuate the revelation.
Guys, not even Zach Snyder uses slow-mo on food
So Caesar, being Caesar, figures hell be a smartass and just flat-out call Kara out on that whole Black Knight thing. Because unlike Eldore, he doesnt have time for others plot-padding bullshit.
Caesar: I guess its true then, Kara
Kara: What is?
Caesar: Youre the Black Knight arent you?
Kara: Weeeeell, shit.
Kara: Well this changes everything, friend. You know my secret Now you die.
When Kara speaks again, her Spanish accent and harsh falsetto tone is gone; the real Kara talks in a more neutral tone and an American accent. This is one of those rare parts of the LP where watching the cutscene is kind of essential to your understanding of the scene itself.
I cant really stress how tone-shifting a moment it is when Kara finally drops the act and lets the real her fly free on Caesar.
Caesar: I wont fight you. Go ahead and kill me.
She rears back, but she hesitates. She just cant do it
Caesar: Huuh. The dragonsight let me down.
Kara: How so?
Caesar: Even through dragons eyes, I look at you and I see a friend.
Kara: Hmph. Your friend?
Kara: You really are naive.
Kara: Im far from a friend. Im your worst enemy. Who do you think killed Leonard and Yulies king?
Caesar: So let me get this straight. Youre the Black Knight. The Magis finest warrior?
Kara: Heh. That and other things.
Caesar: Sorry, sister. You dont have half enough smarts to be that guy.
The balls on this man.
Kara: Why you!
Sweet Jesus, this just got hot.
Good god, Caesar even makes it to second base before Leonard does. With a chick that wants to kill him, no less!
In a previous draft of chapter 1 of this LP, I referred to Archduke Dalam as a Pimp Lord because he dressed like he stole half of Dolemite's wardrobe and rode around in an ornate palanquin for no reason. I stand corrected, ladies and gentlegoons, this right here is the human swagmachine.
Kara: Its the truth. Im General Dragias. And I think I would remember snuffing out the life of a king!
Caesar: Are you really sure now?
Oh, just shut up and do it already.
Caesar: Because, you know you cant always trust your own memories.
Kara: What are you saying?
Caesar: Is Dragias one part of you or is it the other way around?
BUM BUM BUUUUUUM!!!
Caesar is implying that there is more than one Dragias running around out there. More specifically, there was more than one Dragias in Balandor Castle the night of the Magi assault: Kara, and whoever really killed King Valtos.
Note that among the flashes that go through Caesars mind of Karas time as Dragias, we dont see King Valtoss death among them. That was a pretty defining moment for Dragias, right?
That also explains why Dragias appears to teleport around the throne room. When Leonard spots Dragias giving orders to the Magi soldiers after Dragias seemingly retreats up the staircase, hes actually seeing two separate Dragiases, Karas Dragias on the floor ordering the soldiers around, and the mystery Dragias who murdered the king.
Although this little revelation also opens up a shitton of new questions.
For example, just how many levels of mind control was/is Kara under, anyway? You had the gigas, which was clearly doing bad voodoo to her and had her under its own thrall, for whatever reason. Then youve got the Dragias armour, which clearly has some mind-warping properties seeing as Kara has implanted memories of things that she didnt actually do as Dragias. And then theres the Black Knight, which is described in certain source materials and later in the game as being defective somehow to the point where it actually causes mental instability in its Pactmakers.
Though thats all couched in the larger question of: just how much of a paranoid prick is Grazel that he needs to mindwarp a woman three times over to ensure her loyalty to his cause?
The way this game treats its female characters sometimes, I swear.
Oh, and while Im on that note. Lets talk about Lena for a bit, shall we.
Who the fuck was this girl that we let get sacrificed for no reason? Im 100% certain she wasnt Karas biological sister, for reasons that will eventually be revealed near the end of the game. So just who was she?
Was she an adoptive relation of Karas that got reeled into her dealings with the Magi against her will?
Was Belcitane actually sacrificing her an ad lib on his part? Because both her and Karas distress over the event seemed rather genuine.
Was she just some random woman who looked enough like Kara to pass for her sister that the Magi kidnapped and then tossed away because she didnt mean anything to anyone present in the Sand Maze Ruins that day? That would explain why she was bound and gagged, to prevent her from outing Kara.
Was she a Magi agent herself and went along willingly with the whole plot? If so, she was damn good actor, because that death scream sounded pretty horrific, and usual willing sacrifices handle their demise with a little more poise.
What was that black goo?
Oh White Knight Chronicles, why do you hurt me in my brainplace?
Kara is suddenly distracted by the sound of Yulie waking up and wandering outside.
Yulie: Something woke me.
Must have been that throbbing sexual tension.
Yulie: Huh? Caesar, youre still up?
Caesar: Naw, I was about to hit the sack.
Also, I love how she can clearly see that Caesar is on the ground and Kara is looming over him with a sword in her hand and she doesnt even comment on it.
You could read this as her being plot-demandedly oblivious to the obvious in front of her, though Im reading it more as Yulie just doesnt give a shit about anything anymore. Leonard has killed her spirit entirely at this point.
Karas got a knife? Okay. Shes threatening Caesar with it? Eh, hes kind of ass anyway. She disappears every time the Black Knight shows up? Whatever. Shes probably going to stab Leonard tonight? Oh, hey, can I help?
Caesar: Night, Kara. Lets talk again soon.
Yulie: About what?
Caesar: Nothing special.
Kara: My sssenual womanhood. Oh wait. Ew!
And then Kara murdered everyone.
CUTSCENE: The Morning After
Yulie: Whew. Sure was cold last night.
Yeah, I bet Caesar and Kara didnt have any trouble keeping warm.
Leonard: Huuuuugh. Was it? I slept like a log the whole time.
Thats an insult to the intelligence of logs.
Yulie: Right, it was your night off watch duty. Lucky jerk.
Your hate has made you powerful, my young apprentice.
Palpy: Hey! Whos stealing my bit?!
Oh, for fucks sake. Get out of here you wrinkled old bastard, how many LPs do you gotta shit up before you're happy, anyway?
And Kara gets to do the walk of shame, despite not actually having sex with Caesar.
Regardless, Caesar laughs playfully at her when he spots her.
Yeah, that face just about says it all.
So we get back under way. Im keeping Kara and Caesar together in the party for the sake of the upcoming boss fight and the story section after it.
We come to another open area on the path, so of course its a boss arena.
CUTSCENE: Spiders, Man
The party hears some sinister hissing overhead and comes to a stop on the plateau.
And then this thing comes dropping in from overhead like all my fucking nightmares at once.
Its (mini) boss time. You can tell its a miniboss because it gets a cutscene but no boss subtitle.
CUTSCENE / BOSS FIGHT MUSIC: A Worthy Opponent Draws Near (Disc 1, Track 8)
Eldore: Beware. This ones fierce.
Orren: Are you gonna say anything thats not immediately obvious today, old man?
Caesar: Man, they sure grow em big in this canyon.
Kara: This is a small one.
And, of course, fake Spanish Kara is back now that shes got to hide her true self again.
MINIBOSS FIGHT: Direspider (with commentary by nine-gear crow. If you can call my -fest commentary for this vid.)
This fight is straight forwardKnight up and slash the shit out of it.
Caesar: O Larvayne, vermilion drake, leveler of ancient lands, grant me your power
CUTSCENE: Caesar's Trust
Though the spiders defeated, Kara goes down for drama reasons.
And Caesar immediately runs over to her.
Caesar: You okay?
He starts tending to her wound just out of frame because Level-5 couldnt be assed to animate him actually bandaging her up or anything.
Instead he just mimes it.
Caesar: That should do it.
Kara: But why are you helping me, when you know all about me?
Caesar: Do I?
Caesar: And here I just stare and stare at you, wishing I knew more
Caesar: Besides, I told you. Youre our friend, Kara.
Caesar: I trust you.
She hangs her head in shame, torn apart inside by her conflicting loyalties. What side will she ultimately choose?
Yeah, I figured out she was the Black Knight on Flandar Trail. I must have told all them like fifty times between then and there, but they never listen to me. I woke up that night and decided I wanted to piss off the canyon edge and into the worlds largest toilet, and when I got back to camp she was straddling him with a knife to his throat going on about how she was General Dragias.
I saw the whole damn thing. I kind of wish I had Rapaccis camera with me so I could have taken a picture of it.
They never even noticed me there. Hell, they never notice me. At all.
Yulie came on to me that night in the canyon.
- 18.1 - Boarding the Gondola
- 18.2 - A Drunken Fool
- 18.3 - Grazel's Threat
- 18.4 - The Not-So-Grand Canyon
- 18.5 - Cisna's Gambit
- 18.6 - It's Coming...
- 18.7 - The Windwalkers and the Griever
- 18.8 - An Excuse To Stop For The Night
- 18.9 - We Knew That Already
- 18.10 - The Morning After
- 18.11 - Spiders, Man
- 18.i - Direspider Miniboss Battle
- 18.12 - Caesar's Trust
"Kara & Caesar's Kinky-time, by Blind Sally [text] & nine-gear crow [image]"
No, sorry, this just isn't working.
It's that armour. Why do you insist on wearing it?
Look, I thought I made it clear that it wasn't coming off.
Well it's kinda hard to get into it with all these spikes jabbing into me!
I thought you said you liked it a little rough.
Not like this!
WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!
I thought it would spice things up.